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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Mystery Solved!

It took me a while but I found out who Anonymous Critic was and then another problem arose. Someone else was using her name and correcting my grammar and spelling, all the while making their own horrific mistakes which I chose to overlook despite the great temptation to correct and criticize. I falsely accused Viv and her husband Dave, only to learn soon after that it was their wayward son Travis pictured here in an artist's rendering.
Where would a boy have learnt such pedantic behaviour, and at such a tender age to boot!? I can only look his Mom square in the face, point a bony and gnarled finger and declaim boldly J'accuse! It's agreed that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree but Travis if I may address you directly: "Please...stop the madness. You come from a long line of fault finders on both sides but the cycle must end somewhere. The balls in your court. Be a real man and resist commenting on the missing apostrophe in the word "balls" or how "ball is"would be even better. You'll be glad you did!"

7 comments:

Dixxx said...

Dear Blob,
I was saddened to learn that it was the Chess Club Youth and Cheese Distribution Empire that was waging such a viscous attack on the grammatical structure of this most noble bastion of free thought. Has history taught us nothing? I put the blame for this squarely on the rounded shoulders of shoddy public education, and godless parenting.

Spank me Jesus.
Dixxx

slapper58 said...

You know I have a policy of not pointing out spelling mistakes but how can I resist your beautiful typo; "Cheese Distribution Empire that was waging such a viscous attack"
After reading that I had visions of being spattered with melted brie by my critics.

believer beaver said...

BLOB! clearly dixx was making a purposeful mistake, much like the writers did for the famous Archie Bunker,,,,,,,,,, sheesh

Dixxx said...

I have to agree with both of you. I did intend to use vicious, but on second thought, having Bob covered in runny cheese is pretty hot. My baguette is standing on end just thinking about it.

Dixxx

slapper58 said...

That Dixxx, always with the baguette at the ready. If you enjoy fantasizing about men covered in melted cheese try this site http://fondueboysXXX.com
BTW beav, I was RIGHT. Nothing pedantic about my comment either, just relishing an excellent typo. Nice of you to rush to Dixxx's defence though...is there something you're not telling me??

depinette said...

What's with all this proper grammar and spelling anyways? How could anything so rarely used be of any value. I think your perpetraitor(s), and lets not pretend the whole family isn't to blame, are jsut envious of your worldly insites. I've seen these people in action. A bathtub full of pirhannas would be easier to get along with.

slapper58 said...

Thanks for the vote of confidence Dep but I know these people and their bark is far worse than their bite.