http://www.mrequipment.ca/wordpress/?p=18 A simple click of the mouse will transport you to the fascinating world of brass instruments from an insider's perspective but before you make the big move to the Mr. Equipment site perhaps a little background would be in order......
A couple of weeks back an old buddy of mine, Colin Murray (pictured above) gave me a call out of the blue as he was about to board a train back to his home town of Toronto. We hadn't talked in years and he explained away the many unreturned emails and phone calls with a quick "I was really busy", some derisive cursing and a hearty laugh.
Colin was about to start another website and having been apprised of The Blob by a mutual friend decided to hit me up for some advice. It took me almost 2 minutes to get him to stop referring to me as "the Master" and after careful reconsideration another 3 minutes to get him to start again! High praise indeed coming from one of the 1st people who, in the early 80's realized that the internet could be used for more than porn and launched the now defunct Brass Exchange.com.
A serendipitous practice session that combined his 
two great passions and extended his upper range led to his next site: Brass_and_Corset.ca but the world wasn't ready for this type of niche marketing so he let the website idea lay fallow for more than a decade while he killed time in retail/wholesale and music festival high school jazz band adjudication. The latter career came to an abrupt end when in a drunken rage he told 13 year old Meagan Doherty of Brampton,ON that her sax playing stank "worse than the death of Satan" and stormed off the stage. One successful stint ( and two not so successful stints) in rehab later and Mr.Equipment is up and running!!
two great passions and extended his upper range led to his next site: Brass_and_Corset.ca but the world wasn't ready for this type of niche marketing so he let the website idea lay fallow for more than a decade while he killed time in retail/wholesale and music festival high school jazz band adjudication. The latter career came to an abrupt end when in a drunken rage he told 13 year old Meagan Doherty of Brampton,ON that her sax playing stank "worse than the death of Satan" and stormed off the stage. One successful stint ( and two not so successful stints) in rehab later and Mr.Equipment is up and running!!Once there you'll find a slick looking site that combines a question and answer element with clever photoshopped images and witty flights of fancy...."What ho!?!!??" you say? "that sounds a helluva lot like the Blob!" Well....imitation is the highest form of flattery and the web is big enough for the both of us. I applaud Colin for his excellent use of the info gleaned from our phone conversation even as I consult my lawyers about copyright infringement.
BTW; I thought as a sort of "welcome aboard" gift I'd write you a jingle but am having a dang of a time rhyming Mr. Equipment. So far all I've got is
"If you need a horn
see Mr. Equipment
you'll get satisfaction
not a mystery shipment.
This sucks but so far it's the best I can do. More later....
6 comments:
You could rhyme it with: bent, lent (both meanings, sent, went dent...a plethora of possibilities.
Will be joining you soon to share the fabulous weather you're having. Crap, who needs 84F and sunshine when one could bask in -4 and snow? Bring on the fleece.
And now I can say, "Yours in Christ" since I spent 3 hours in church yesterday atoning for my sins and listening to the, what? 7 stages of Christ's hanging on the cross.
It's not like me to disagree with one of my faithful readers but BPG I'm sorry that I can't buy in to your rhyming strategy. First of all that's not how I pronounce the word equipmENT with the short "e" sound at the end. My preference is for the short "I" sound as in "equipmINT" or at worse the short "U" like "equipMUNT" but nothing rhymes with MUNT.
Now...if I were to say;
"I wrote to Mister Equipment
about an unplayable trumpet
It had on it's side a large dent
and when blown produced only spit"
you should begin to appreciate the problem. The stress on the syllables eQUIPment and TRUMpet means that equipment and dent, trumpet and spit, are imperfect and for me, unuseable rhymes. Trumpet works with crumpet, strumpet, plum pit, etc. while Equipment rhymes with shipment, hip splint, lip mint etc.
BTW Three hours of atonement!!??!!?? What in hell's name did you do woman?? Okay granted the pool boy DID look way over 15 years old and who could have guessed that in the Turks it's illegal to kick sleeping beggars but still...3 hours??
Also...I'd forgotten about the 7 stages of Christ's hanging. It's been so long since hebrew school. let's see if I can remember them;
1: fear
2: pain
3: grief
4: sarcasm
5: multi-colored hanky ( many view this as a simple magic trick)
6: doves ( again...magic)
7: all-you-can eat buffet
I think I nailed it!! Sometimes I amaze even myself!!
Dear Bobby,
Thank you for your plug of my site and your inspiring me to write the Mr.Equipment jingle (later in this missive).
Please allow me to dispel a few factual errors without the benefit of my legal team, whom I've lent to my buddy Conrad for a few weeks...
1. I had already started construction of the Mr.Equipment website when I spoke with you, and though I am a huge fan of The Blob, I think it a slight exaggeration that The Blob is the source of inspiration for MrEquipment.ca. Master.
2. As in the case of many apocryphal stories of my adjudications, the Brampton incident was, in fact, about a 16 year old male trombonist whose name escapes me (David Marsh,Mike Weston?). I merely stated the obvious, that "your so-called tone can only be compared to the flapping of Beelzebub's sphincter".
He took great umbrage at this, and it was the rest of the panel, not I, who stormed out. Remarkable how these stories become diluted over the years...
3. Rehab. The "two not so successful stints" I count as one. I went in, checked myself out after one day, then when I was pilloried by the media after being photographed stepping out of a limo without sock garters and having my hair parted differently. I checked back into rehab the next day, so I count that as one visit with a minor interruption.
4. In spite of your generous referral to my website as "slick", what you see when you click on the link is really a work in progress, being shown only to a select few, which now includes Blob fans. The site is still under construction, (though I think it has about as much chance of having more delays as a man having a baby)and you will be even more impressed once the new design (with content) in unveiled in the near future. You can go www.mrequipment.ca and enter your email address to be apprised of the situation.
Finally, here is the Mr.Equipment jingle. I haven't notated it yet, finding musical notation to be too cumbersome, preferring instead the "think" system as pioneered by Prof. Harold Hill. I will rely on you to use your musical imagination as I describe the scenario.
The jingle is set to the tune of
"Ride of the Valkyries" (no offense to you or your faith, Bob).
The first stanza is sung by male chorus, in the minor key:
If you've a trad-i-tion
Of blow-ing-au di-tion(s)
For get-your-con tri-tion
It's not-how-you play-----
(The next stanza is swung in four (by Dick Wagner and the Meisterswingers)with the girl singers in the major key. Two bar break (one bar drum fill,one bar descending bass line)then:
It all-will-be come clear,
When you've-got-the right gear,
You'll find-it-all right here,
At Mis-ter-E Mis-ter-E quip-ment-C aaayy!!
Bob, just to satisfy your desire to rhyme "equipment" here's another version of the second stanza:
If you-knew-that hip meant,
Chang-ing-e quip ment,
You've cer-tain-ly been sent,
To Mis-ter-E,Mis-ter-E quip-ment-C aayy!!
I tried to record it yesterday, but couldn't find any jingle singers who'd work on Good Friday. Anyone who wants to volunteer for the session, please feel free to contact me.
Finally, go to my work-in-progress website to see my reply to your comment and question.
Colin
Great work with the jingle Colin...I'd be willing to come in for the session but I'm afraid you'll have to pay the TCF (triangle cartage fee). Hey, if you want the best......
Sorry about the mistakes there but wouldn't ya know it, I've gone and gotten a couple of the fact checkers pregnant again. They're both vomiting something wicked but as they both said last nite "It beats the f**k out of stripping for loonies!" OOPS...sorry about that,accidentally pressed the "Jerry Springer" hot key on my new keyboard.
Anyways, my editorial policy is well known by now. The errors will be allowed to stand as The Blob (along with FOX News)is one of the last bastions of misinformation in the free world. Thank you
I think you and your friend Colin might want to check out the emergence of proposed new Blog 'guidelines' in this morning's New York Times. It seems you might be in for a bumpy ride in upcoming issues if you don't toe the line.....
The article is titled..."A Call for Manners in a World of Nasty Blogs". I would be intereted in your perspective.
Best of luck,
M.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/09/technology/09blog.html?th=&adxnnl=1&emc=th&adxnnlx=1176120960-19T6LTA6uJZQ3u3GcVAUhw
That being the case, perhaps the blob will need to extricate itself from the constrictions of the free blogosphere and emerge on its own.
Viva la (misinformation) revolution!
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