Search This Blog

Saturday, March 01, 2008

The Art of the Cookie

It's amazing how much time, money, and energy is spent trying to set things apart from other similar things. Two weeks away from the routine of home life gave me lots of time to think and it was the humble yet exalted chocolate chip cookie that, like a speck of dust to airborne ice crystals, provided the nucleus for the random thoughts in my head. Today's snowflake of a post is the end result. (have you noticed that no 2 posts are the same?)

I've been staying at the Courtyard Marriott in Quebec City and while it's a fine hotel there are many others world-wide with different names that are almost identical. To set themselves apart the Marriott people have come up with a couple of clever touches that don't cost them a lot but make a big difference to the weary traveller. At 5 o'clock they set out a large tray of individually wrapped yet homemade-ish chocolate chip cookies. I, like a trained rat, found myself hovering around the goodies every day and would've pushed a lever with my nose to get one if I had to.
(the daily turn down service was appreciated but I could have done without the coddled egg on my pillow....what's up with that??!!??)

Invariably I'd just be coming back from a recording session where the other musicians and I had been feverishly trying to put our own distinctive touches to a piece that's been recorded dozens of times if not more. The little cookie gesture was most appreciated as was the quirky and suggestive brand name: Otis Spunkmeyer.

Yes indeed, somebody....probably many people, had decided that this was the best possible name for their delicious wares. Focus groups, in-house committees, high powered marketing consultants etc. were undoubtedly all involved despite the quaint tale of Kimberly, the 12 year old daughter of the founder Ken Rawlings coming up with the sperm related name on her own.

Says CEO John Schiavo: "Of course we wouldn't leave such a key decision to a kid. Well known northeastern brands like Freihoffer's or Entenmann's have names that bespeak time honoured European quality and generations old recipes, hard working immigrants who turned a dream into some cookies and in turn into a s**tload of cash! We took that idea and went it one better with the not-so-subtle semen tie in. The very stuff of life associated with our can't beat it!!"
It's the small details that often make the biggest difference. They often go unnoticed but end up influencing our decisions in ways that we're not even aware of. Next time you're at a Marriott make sure to grab one or two of the free Spunkmeyers but be warned...the name starts to work on you and sooner or later, alone in your hotel room, you'll start hearing the sweet siren song of the complimentary hand lotion in the bathroom....or so I've been told.


Party Bear said...


Mam C said...

Wow, I had to check the website to make sure you weren't kidding. How does a name like that sell COOKIES? I guess the proof of the pudding (or in this case, the cookie) is in the eating and you've proved that if a baked good looks appetizing enough it doesn't matter what it's called, you'll eat it and "come" back for more!

Auntie Mulva said...

Dear Blob,

It has come to my attention that the posts of late are becoming increasingly, shall we say, ribald.
Please, Blobbie, take the high road!!!!!!! You have even got the usually demure and dare I say somewhat virtuous Vivian Lee, my friend and neighbour, to make jokes about such seriously salacious smut!
If you continue on this path of least resistance, please either change your title to "BlueBlob" or "Redblob" or some such moniker, and I will know in the future to stay away (unless I have had too much sherry, and we all know what that can lead to!)!

Thanks for your otherwise fine blog, and I hope to see you on the right track, doing the Lord's work when you get back on the straight and narrow way that leads unto life!

underworldprincess2008 said...

Don't listen to that old cow, Blobbie. Nothing is more fulfilling in a person's life (or afterlife (ha ha!)) than doing the Lord's work--the Dark Lord's work that is. As a regular practitioner, I have to say that the low road is a lot sweeter than the high road not taken, the path of least forgiveness, and so on. Nothing pleases the "sinners" down in the promiseland like a good old fashioned gizz joke (hey, that's got a nice ring to it!). But of course, nothing pisses off old farts like toilet humour (or lotion humour?). Someone should tell that crone to take the night flight down Beelzebub way, kick off her orthopedics and get jizzy with it!

Yours in satanic righteousness,

Underworld Princess ('08!)

(long suffering)uncle mulvo said...

Blobbie!! This Underworldprincess2008 - how can I meet her? Her language skills!! Her style! Her flair! She's SO naughty!!! What a saucy wench she must be!!! In my mind, I've already "kicked off my orthopedics (not that I need them, of course!!!) and gotten jizzy with it" (what does that mean? - I want to learn!!)! And how did she know that Auntie Mulva was an old cow and a crone (she is, on both counts!!!)??? Underworldprincess!!! I'M DYIN' HERE!!! Can't you and I "take a flight down Beelzebub way" together?? Won't you teach me your wicked, wicked ways???? I WANT TO LEARN!!!! No more high-road (the highway of losers!!!) for me, Blobbie!! Thanks to Underworldprincess 2008, I've seen The Light (Ha! Ha! Of course, I meant The Darkness!!!)!!! Soon to be Satanically Righteous (I'm hopin'!!!), Uncle Mulvo

slapper58 said...

Where to begin?
Mama C is a trombonist and has grown up and excelled in a man's world sorrounded by all manner of louts and drunkards. That she occasionally lets fly with an off-coloured joke is to be expected and has nothing to do with The Blob.
That Mama C is usually demure is to her credit given the corrosive influences of the macho trombone world.
Underworldprincess2008, the daughter (or spawn) of Mama C and Party Bear is still way too young for you Uncle Mulvo. Yes, I know she's a year older than the last time we went over this but so are you. This unchanging chronological gap is in fact getting larger because as she approaches her sexual peak yours fades gradually on the horizon with each passing day. (speaking of approaching a sexual peak, that's one ascencion that shouldn't be made without a trusty guide or luv-sherpa as I'm known in the trade)
People may check out The Blob for some "blue" material and find some every once in a blue moon. They'd be wise to check out the comment section though. That's where the real unsavory action is!!