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Saturday, March 22, 2008

T and A (and E)

Maria Callous said...

"Blob, I have three things to say to you: Tits, ass, and euphonium. Better luck next time."

Mikexxster (masquerading as some Arab guy) said...

"More tits!!! More ass!!! More euphonium (whatever that may be!!)!!!!"

Once again a couple of Blob regular commenters have turned against me after an educational and thought provoking post. I suppose this is the way of the world and try as I do to maintain a lofty tone around here I keep getting pulled back into the morass by people who want...well.... more ass!
I recently commissioned a study about my readership and it turns out that they can be divided into two main groups:

a) those who are having sex

b) those who are not

The two contributors in question are looking to The Blob for titillation but until the numbers are crunched and the data comes back I can't say for sure which group they belong two....any guesses??

I suppose it's time to cave yet again so without further ado I give you another installment of Tits, Ass, and Euphonium....see if you can guess which is which!!


dixxx said...

Dear Blob,

I have always been fascinated with the notion of midget wrestling. Can you imagine a more delightful image? Like Happy Gilmore, I too, have midgets in my happy place, riding ponies and bringing me ice tea.
On a related note, I became the happy recipient of a brand new YBH621 baritone last evening; the midget of the low brass family. The baritone, while capable of performing all the technical requirements of it's bigger brother, the euphonium, is still regarded as a lesser instrument. It is even stuck into the middle of the band as to avoid its petite stature from striking a comedic note with the audience. I think it is high time for both midget wrestling and baritone playing to move to the forefront of this society and capture the acclaim it so rightly deserves.

Yours in minutia

Maria Callous said...

Man, look at that embouchure. Even if I'm not getting anywhere with it you can't say I don't know how to blow.

And anyway, you can hardly toss yourself into the category of those having sex since your girlfriend is too "busy" to come see you for another 4 months. You better believe the reason I'm not having sex isn't because guys are too "busy" to sleep with me. But I'm sure you'll come up with a better reason in your retort. Here, the floor is all yours, you bastard.

slapper58 said...

Yes indeed Maria, excellent embouchure...nobody ever said you didn't have the chops!!
That picture BTW was based on a dream related to me by the very same, happy trombonist being blown by you
out of the top of the euphonium (sort of like a giant bubble of hot air).
As for who's getting any or not it's true that I'm experiencing a dry spell. Nevetheless there's great comfort in knowing that a meaningful and pleasurable experience with my GF is only a plane flight away.
I suppose that you and the Mikexxster could also get lucky at the drop of a hat but in your case alcohol and/or a lowering of standards would have to be involved and in Mikexxster's there'd certainly be a cash transaction.
While we're on the subject here's an oldie but a goodie:
"Men don't pay hookers for sex...they pay them to leave!"

slapper58 said...

Dixxx your comment couldn't have come at a better time (what a Godsend!!).
I've already addressed the issue of short men in an earlier post but you present me with a whole new angle....really short, combative men and their tiny instruments.
The documentary was called Short and Male and will air on CTV this coming May 24th.
I attended the premier (and OH what a gala it was!!) and indeed there was not a single mention of the Baritone and only one mention of the Euphonium.
(Editor's Note: minor misunderstanding here. The actual line was "I'll bring in the groceries, you phone Ian"....Listen, these things happen.)
This is an issue that I can really sink my teeth into and sink I will in an upcoming post!!