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Sunday, February 24, 2008

They've Found The G Spot....Yet Again

Did you ever spend half an hour in search of your keys, rejoice upon finding them, put them aside while you make a phone call and then discover that you can't find them again? When you finally find them that 2nd time you vow to not be so haphazard when you put them down and pay more attention as to their location at all times. This is how many gynecologists and just plain folks feel about the mysterious G spot, (recently rediscovered, this time in Italy....on vacation maybe???)

Since it's discovery in the 50's the eponymously named Graffenberg spot has been the subject of much controversy and it's very existence is questioned to this day.

First hand evidence tells me it exists (occasionally a 2nd hand is used) but there's no denying that the issue is contentious.

Dr. Emanuelle Jannini, who from here on in will be referred to as Dr. Wilt Fisk (brevity and ease of typing being the reasons...I'm sure nobody'll mind with the possible exception of Dr. Jannini, I mean Fisk) recently published a study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine purporting that only some women have a thickened area on the anterior vaginal wall (right next to the vestibule and to the left of the credenza) and can experience orgasm during coitus. The rest of you just have to make do with the old fashioned clit O's. (note to self: breakfast cereal possibilities?)

Something tells me the whole thing is a marketing ploy. Just when the sexual revolution allowed women to feel comfortable enough about sex and their own bodies to have clitoral orgasms then you had to start having multiple ones to measure up. That's no longer good enough...the G spot orgasms are better say the experts trying to sell their books and what's this ??!!?? Women can ejaculate too and it's not just incontinence??? Inadequacy sells.

So girls....If you're confused just imagine what the men in your life are up against!!

Here's a passage from an article in Britain's The Independent:

"And now the same contentions regarding the rigour of research methods have returned. When Dr Gräfenberg wrote in 1950 that "although female orgasm has been discussed for many centuries or even thousands of years, the problems of female satisfaction are not yet solved", he could not have predicted that this statement would remain true for so long.
Despite Dr Jannini's (ed. note- that should be Fisk) latest findings, we are still not much closer to definitive knowledge of female sexual pleasure.
"The solution of the problem would be better furthered, if the sexologists know exactly what they are talking about," said Gräfenberg, but even now, a lack of comprehensive studies of female orgasm mean it is a topic scientists still don't fully understand."

Wow!! Not even the experts know how to please a woman. This is The Blob and as we all know it's an advice column so in that spirit let me take a crack at this and talk to men in a language they can goes.

The Blob for Men: G Spot Users Manual

If you're a man and especially a married man then there is a palm sized item that you touch often that is the source of much pleasure and this of course is your universal remote. This veritable magic wand gives you control over your entire realm of electronic entertainment subjects without ever having to leave your cushy throne.

While we are intimately familar with our remotes there are always a couple of buttons whose functions remain unknown and often unexplored. "I've touched the INFO button but nothing ever happens, same thing with the SAT/AUX and one or two others." I can hear you say.

What if I were to tell you that if you persevered and touched those mysterious keys for just a while longer your significant other would automatically see the final episode of Sex in the City, Desperate Housewives, Queer Eye, Oprah etc. even as you watched the hockey game or the Miss Hooters International competition. If she asks to change the channel just touch the button for a while longer....everybody stays home happy and you get to keep the remote control (the operative word being the latter).

As in all things communication is the answer....if you can't figure out which button to push, how, and for how long, just ask your partner. You'll find the right channel in no time!!
P.S. Here's a little something for devoted Blob afficionado Maria C.


slapper58 said...

Blink and you'll miss's back to our provincial capital again early tomorrow morn for more work. Maria Callous' pleas notwithstanding, entertaining the devoted minions doesn't pay the rent. She did say she craved posts about sex (T and A anyways) and trombones so today's installment should prove satisfying. See you in a bit.

Maria Callous said...

ha. ha.

Maria Callous said...

Does that Mr. Hanky come in different flavours?

slapper58 said...

sorry to report that Mr. Hanky* only comes in the one flavor. I believe that you can avail yourself of smooth or chunky style though.

*Mr. Hanky is a wholly owned juvenile scat humor property of South Park Inc. Any unauthorized use by a blog other than The Blob is a violation of the US criminal code Section 1A sub-section 17: Fecal mascot infringement

paradisegirl said...

Hey Blob, why don't you put a photo of Grace Bay Beach so that blobbers everywhere will feel the envy???