OK everybody, it's time to round up the kids, throw them into the van and head over to your nearest cineplex. Hairspray is this summer's must see hit, a double dose of Dr. Feelgood's Happy Tonic and just the cure for those of us depressed by the slaughter in Darfur and the slow but inexorable death of our planet. This sweetly subversive film is an homage to the idealism of the early 60's and the importance of non-conformity all artfully choreographed to an infectious rock and roll back beat....vive la difference!! When John Waters first began writing this film years ago he had little idea that it would be turned into a broadway musical and then into another movie based on the show. Waters has long been a champion of the underdog (often the transvestite underdog) and his body of work is testament to the power of American popular culture which, despite the urge to conform, always makes room for the rebel with some talent and a cause.
The cherry on top of my cinema sundae was a post-film fact finding mission to the men's lavatory at the insistence of my GF. A mysterious and compelling noise was coming from within (sounded like they were sand blasting a urinal) and as I neared the entrance I'll have to admit that my curiousity was piqued. After washing my hands I sidled over to the air dryer but this was just your regular and ineffective model. Across the room though and looking more imposing and streamlined was The XLERATOR. I placed my wet hands beneath the machine, it detected their presence, and 10 intense seconds later they were bone dry. This was power! This stream of air could clean your driveway, pile your autumn leaves and most likely exfoliated the top layer of skin from my hands. I left the washroom feeling completely dessicated and sanitized, ready to grab the escalator handrail that only minutes before had been held by hundreds of acne infested teenagers. This was the feel good hand dryer of the summer!
18 comments:
Looking forward to it! Thanks for the recommendation. And I must add my own endorsement to yours re:the Xlerator. Now that's a machine worth plugging in! AWesome power and very satisfying to use. Two most enthusiastic thumbs up!
You're not the first woman to comment favourably on its power and their degree of satisfaction. Remember though, the XCELERATOR can also be used to dry your hands!!
Those xcelerators are the shit. I hate all other hand dryers. I've got the need for speed baby and xcelerator delivers!
Haha!
Hi. Blobbie! I don't know who Brandon is,but he obviously believes in the old adage that one should never use two words when one will do. He makes his point in a cogent and very succinct manner! More power to him! The LAST thing The Blob needs is more windbags...Blob, you know who I'm talking about! I could go on, but I won't. Brandon, you are OK!!! As a relative newcomer to The Blob myself, I know how difficult it can be to jump into the discussion feet-first- you've done remarkably well!! My gut-feeling, Brandon, is that you're a college man; allow me, as a published author, to give you a soupcon of advice. Stay in school, work hard, and keep improving your vocabulary (that should be relatively easy!!)!!! Words are important!!! The day will come when you look back and laugh at your early efforts; and so you should!!!
Brandon, thank you for the kind word and please don't be put off by Mikexxxster. He may come across as a sarcastic and verbose bully but he's really quite harmless. I don't know whether or not you've read Hamlet (I certainly haven't) but found within its pages is Shakespeare's famous quote "Brevity is the soul of wit". You've clearly taken this to heart unlike some of my more aged contributors. Keep up the good work!!
Dear Blob,
As you know, I have been conspicuously absent from the comments sections of your posts of late. As I return now, like the prodigal son, I am saddened to find such vindictive spewing forth from one mikexxxster, most recently his attack on brandon. Though brandon may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, he does not deserve such sharp barbs. Shame on mikexxxster for teasing the handicapped, it only showcases his inner bully. So what if Joe routinely drools on the keyboard, or loses the gamble on a regular basis (if you are unfamiliar with losing the gamble, I can explain in person) it’s not his fault. Our lord and savior Jesus Christ taught us to stand up for those who cannot stand themselves, and that is what I am doing. Be forewarned mikexxxster, I am here to defend all manor of slack-jawed, lame-brain, and hygienically-impaired Blob-o-philes who should care to contribute to this bastion of free (if impaired) thought.
Yours in Christ
Dixxx
I seem to have referred to brandon as Joe at one point in my last comment. May the lord forgive me.
Blessed be thy name.
Dixxx
Dear Blobber... sad to say, but it seems to me that your fine site has been infected by the same malaise that has devastated the rest of Western Society--that is to say; a definite lowering of the tone, a desperate race to the bottom, a very sad dumbing-down,if you will. This pathetic "intellectual relativism" cannot stand!!! Blob!!! Surely you don't believe that any and all mouth-breathing, cretinous half-wits should have their say, no matter what gibberish they might spout! This Dixxx is a stranger to me, but it is perfectly clear that he's less than sound mentally. Never mind for the moment that he has Imaginary Friends (All-Powerful, of course!); never mind that from one moment to the next, "Dixxx" believes he's defending "Joe", and not Brandon (no Perry Mason he!!!). No. What is unacceptable, what is quite simply beyond the Pale is the fact that Mr. "Dixxx" has STOLEN my brand-name!!! What cheek!! What effrontery!! What do you think of when you see the name Mikexxxster? Of course!!!! All that and more!!! AND THEN SOME!!! And now this "Johnny-come-lately" lout dares to think he can hitch his wagon to my star??? No!!! A thousand times no!!! Let us have more of partybear,more mamms (always, more mamms!!!); most certainly, let us have more of Maria Callous!!! Even Brandon, though a little "wet behind the ears", is light -years ahead of this uncaring, in-it-for-himself identity-thief, Dixxx!!! Blob!!!! Do your duty!!!!! And please remember... justice tempered with mercy is not justice!!! Praise His Name now, Dickssssssss!!!!
Dear Blob,
I cannot believe all this spurious invective I read. I try to dream up something to say but I find that even as an English teacher I cannot hold a candle to all the weirdos who choose to write to you. Where, lord jesus, does it come from???
For those of you who have been pining for Party Bear (you know who you are!) I can reassure you that in a week or so, after he's managed to wade through all the commentary, etc., he'll surely be back contributing and I can guarantee, heightening the tone of, the Blob. Until then, continue spewing what you're spewing.
An Open Letter to Paradise Girl and all those with generous souls:
I'm out of town as you all know and in my absence the forces of rudeness have surfaced and are attempting to scuttle the good ship Blob with their venomous torpedos of ill will. These are difficult times for all of us and without my hi-speed internet connection I am in a vulnerable state. The menace is real and so I am asking all contributors who are kind of heart to help me fight the good fight against these mean spirited euphonium players and their vile slander. Together we may just have a chance!!
Howdy, Blob,how's the ol' cowpoke doin' today? Interestingly, at your suggestion, I checked out Barnyardpals.com. Do you know how the word "cowpoke" came into existence? YIKES!!!!! But perhaps we should focus on topics that the whole family can enjoy! Paradisegal can rest assured that even though I may sometimes use invective (only in moderation, and ONLY when necessary!), it will NEVER be spurious. As Detective Friday used to say on "Dragnet", "Just the facts, maa'm!". Here at Siege Social Mondial Mikexxxster World Headquarters, facts mean everything (by the way Blob, our lawyers tell me that it's only "vile slander" when it's not true beyond a reasonable doubt; and that therefore, you might want to retract that statement. I say this as a friend.) to us!!! However, what really caught my attention in Paradisegal's post was that last sentence. There's an implication that she believes you to be the Son of God!!! Personally, Blobbie, I think you're the cat's pyjamas...but that's as far as it goes! Unless... you DO know where it comes from..........why ,all of a sudden, am I humming Handel??? You know, the part that goes, "Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The Everlasting Father," etc.,etc.. Naaah.... that's kooky talk(!!!)...... I'm no theologian, but clearly; God would never send a Jew to do the work of a Christian when it comes to something as important as the work of The Messiah!!! But you know what, Blobele, ol' buddy, ol' pal? With the help of our True Friend and Saviour, Alcohol, I'm feeling very ecumenical... maybe (God, I love that girl!!!), just Maebe (God, I love that girl!), we DO (just) have a chance!!!!! Amen to that!!! God bless us all!!!
JESUS, cut that boy off!!
Ecumencial??? Never heard nor seen that word ever before. HUH? Or should I say DUH?
Can't sleep, there's a musical festival here in paradise right down the hill from where I live, (sadly no euphoniums!!!), in Turtle Cove Marina. Not sure of the genra (sp?) of the music, sounds 80's to me and as much as I can relate to that at close to 1:30 in the morning I am a little bit (OK! a lot)at my wits end...
Shall I spew the words to the last ditty? "Say that you'll stay forever, say you'll never leave-ah-eave, say that you'll staaaay...etc., etc." Pukeville, though I just feel that Mikexxxster is gettin' all emotional even just seein' these few words...
PG
Yours in Alcohol
"JESUS, cut that boy off!!" says Brandon....would that I could....
RE Mixxxster's Most Recent Comment:
I try to avoid cursing around here but Mike help me out here; What the fuck are you talking about ?!!?? Your very 1st post was so promising, a new contributor with a refreshing outlook, a sense of style. How quickly it's gone sour....just look at your last few comments, a curdled, fetid, slurry of obscure self-serving references, bizarre extrapolations, obfuscating tangents, (also the name of my favorite band!)inappropriate sexuality and alcohol fueled rancour.
Now for some reason Dixxx has decided to follow your path and suddenly The Blob's tone of passive-agressive kindness/ridicule
has degenerated and is threatening to spin out of control. This cannot happen...not on my watch.
If you and Dixxx are playing out some childish, jealous spat for favoured status on this site please, take it outside. I appreciate that at work you are both subordinates by virtue of your place within the orchestral hierarchy AND because of your chosen instruments. I won't play favorites (although Dixxx WAS here 1st and will always have a special place in my heart and the Callouses are adorable) and won't censor the comment section but let's return to simpler times. Leave Brandon alone!!
While it's been very enjoyable to watch you grown-ups (and I mean that in a purely sarcastic way) battle eachother's wits (no doubt your weapons (alcohol) haven't yet rusted), I have to say it's high time I stepped in and said something on behalf of intelligent people everywhere: Outdoors! It's a nice place, full of birds singing, sun shining, activities, get-togethers and the like. And although I'm messaging you this from indoors (at my job as a servant of hell (hollywood-produced shite) I am observing the outdoors as much as I can and I can't wait to get out there! So my message again is: get a life! Get outdoors, people and, I dunno, flay eachother in person...oh and if you do, call me and I'll bring my videocam.
You tell 'em Maria!! That Mikexxxster is looking a little pasty.
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