Looks like I'll be pullin' up stakes bright and early tomorrow and heading out Alberta way for 3 weeks of hard labour under the scorching Prairie sun. The federal government has accepted my GMF (girl friend maintenance) grant proposal so off I'll go at dawn's crack.
Those of you familiar with The Blob will know that the Alberta situation is not the best for blogging what with the slow dial-up connection. The posts will be forthcoming but maybe more sporadic. Perhaps a couple of parting thoughts before I take wing:
The Tour de France (dubbed the Tour de Farce by every clever columnist in the western world) is about to be dismantled after the incredible spate of positive doping tests have cast their pall over the hallowed event.
Organizers have been tinkering with the idea of accepting drugs (check out the proposed T shirt) and blood doping so that we may once again have an even playing field but because of fierce opposition this will never happen.The race is being called a joke so why not play up its comedic possibilities, after all, the pairing of clowns, acrobats, or stuntmen and bicycles has long been a circus staple. Thanks to America's Funniest Home Videos and the internet the "face plant" is finally getting it's due. Let's get in on the joke...the elite Tour de France, long held aloft on its shining pedestal has slipped on the banana peel of ignomy
and fallen face first into the cream pie of shame. Turn the bike race into a form of lowbrow entertainment and families will return in droves. After all, we know that circus folk are some of the most drug infested folk around but we've been bringing our kids to see them strut their stuff for years! Organizers of "The Tour"...wouldn't you rather have us laughing with you??
It's come to my attention that former prime minister Pierre Eliott Trudeau has been voted Worst Canadian Ever in a recently conducted poll. I couldn't care less. What r
eally irked me though was the thoughtless inclusion, high up on the list, of Celine Dion. She's been fair game for years and has routinely been ridiculed by the press and the public but I for one won't have it!! Sure she has her faults (don't you all?) but look where she came from and what she has become. Poor, uneducated, with a voice of gold; she was discovered by René Angelil who went on to produce her, marry her, and reproduce with her.
eally irked me though was the thoughtless inclusion, high up on the list, of Celine Dion. She's been fair game for years and has routinely been ridiculed by the press and the public but I for one won't have it!! Sure she has her faults (don't you all?) but look where she came from and what she has become. Poor, uneducated, with a voice of gold; she was discovered by René Angelil who went on to produce her, marry her, and reproduce with her.Sure she's excessive, maudlin, vacuous, trite, insipid, grating etc. but she has a talent and her career has been expertly guided despite her flaws. She married a much older man and many scoffed calling René little more than a pedophile or opportunist yet they have survived as a couple. Their marriage is a model of devotion and perseverance. Their decision to build a family and have her career conform to this new paradigm is noteworthy in this age of self-centered starlets and aging lotharios. In Celine we have a true and worthy role model. Let's stop laughing at her, let's be proud Canadians and acknowledge that this international gem is one of us!! (I feel better now)
6 comments:
Say it ain't so, Joe!! Blobbie!! Your statements about Las Vegas' favourite pig-caller, aka The Human Foghorn, aka Celine Dion are a joke, right? You're trying a different direction with your humour, aren't you? All I can say, if that's the case, is that you really do need a vacation; I would say my tax-dollars were well spent if the GFM (I think you mean GFM) grant will make you whole again!! As far as I'm concerned, her "singing" speaks for itself. What I find absolutely impossible to accept is that this spectacularly ugly female (with the help of her handlers, of course)tries to pass herself off as one of the world's great beauties. Come on!!!! What a fraud!!! P T Barnum's dictum about a sucker being born every minute, as well as H L Mencken's belief that no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the average American (or Canadian, for that matter;we have nothing to be proud of in that regard, either), explains her career quite nicely, in my mind. Mencken even coined a word that describes Celine's fans, years before she was even born! The Booboisie!! How prescient! So what if she's a good mother and is devoted to her family? So are tens of millions of other women---you don't hear them shrieking into microphones, causing milk-cows to go dry, and plastering their ugly faces on every public space they can find, scaring little babies, do you? What we have in this creature is the Quebecoise equivalent to Don Cherry; a National Embarrassment for each of the Two Solitudes. I'm pretty sure that Stephen Harper is very happy with that kind of asymmetrical federalism!!! To end on a happier note,have yourself a wonderful time in Wild Rose country (that would be Alberta, to any of Celine's fans who are lucky enough to have someone read The Blob to them); I for one will miss the Blobster. Nobody, it seems, can rile me up quite like you!!!
Disagree if you will Mikexxxster but La Celine is a national treasure when looked at in the proper light. That a woman with a golden voice, plain looks, and a poor education can reach the heights of show business speaks not only to the horrible taste of the general population but also to her strong family, good upbringing and brilliant management team headed up by her husband René. From an aesthetic standpoint alone her career arc is a thing of striking beauty. From a planning point of view even a seasoned military strategist would have to stand back in awe. Those who clamor for a return to the more wholesome values of yesteryear; home, hearth, and hard work need look no further than Celine Dion. Sure there have been missteps. Allowing her to speak in public is a mistake, perhaps unavoidable given the public's need to have their entertainment idols pronounce themselves on the vital issues of the day. Her book about childbirth was a PR blunder and its title "MIRACLE" was seen as self-aggrandizing by those who know that emaciated, vapid women have been having babies for eons. Nevertheless its tiresome having typically timid Canadians turn their backs on their own once they've garnered international success. Mike you of all people should look to René and Celine as a shining beacon of hope. A young girl...a man old enough to be her grandpa....a marriage for the ages!! Let's try to keep in touch.
Blob!! You know I love you (in the proper sense of the word, of course; like a brother!), so it pains me to keep you from your packing by sending these unimportant posts. But really!! You've used the phrase "golden voice" twice now; I can only assume by that phrase you mean the "golden" sound of fingernails on a blackboard; or perhaps,to quote the loquacious Geoff Chisholm, the "golden" sound of "two cats fucking in the back yard at three o'clock in the morning". Is that what you meant? Anyhooo..., don't feel you have to respond to this (admittedly flippant} post.....you've got a trip to prepare for!!!Calm Seas and Prosperous Voyage!!! Ha! Ha! A Musical Joke!! I will leave you alone now!!! I'm all out of beer anyway.
I found one more beer in the fridge!! As I said, Blobbie, no need to respond; this is a chance for me to vent!!! You talk of Celine's "career arc"...when history writes the final chapter on Ms. Dion, her "career arc" will look like the hump on any one of the (Arabian) camels at her wedding (note to Celine- never have anything in your wedding party that looks better than you do). Dear Blob, I'm not bitter, OR angry; I just cannot stand the falsity and the affectation, ie, the complete and utter bullshit that goes hand-in-hand with (you guessed it!) American Pop Culture. Thanks for letting me rant! One final time,let me say I hope you'll have a wonderful time with Phyllis; have a good rest, and we'll lock horns (so to speak) when you get back!! Bon Voyage!!!
I actually don't mind Celine's voice. But if I hear more than one or two songs, I've heard enough to last me through the year. I think the Rene/Celine thing is really gross. She probably still feels in her heart that she's an ugly little girl from buttfuck nowhere quebec who could never get the guy of her dreams so she marries the first guy who gave her the look (or the record deal). This is vaguely reminiscent of Maria Callas' fate, except that she could get anyone she wanted and was played around because of it (you better believe I would kick onasis in the balls if e'er I saw him--even if that means craddle robbing--opps I mean grave robbing). And, oh right, Maria could sing Celine's ugly face off! But who am I to judge. These people are legends (well, Maria is anyway) and one shouldn't speak slightingly of the rich and ostentatious.
I can't believe you've wasted all this valuable Blob space discussing that strange speciment that is Celine Dion. What matters she? In the grand scheme, I mean. Let's go back to trying to figure out the meaning of life. That should keep you guys quiet for a while.
But as a kind of P.S., I must say that while I don't understand the appeal of Celine, I actually believe she means what she says. Extrapolating quickly, this means she 's not the brains of the operation, but it also means that all that sickening-sweet stuff she spews, is all her!!
Post a Comment