Color me astonished! Years of schooling and TV viewing had led me to believe that our species emerged, (somewhat darker skinned) in Africa and that whiteness was an evolutionary adaptation as some among us meandered north over the millenia.
Leafing through the Book of Mormon (don't ask) the other day I came upon a passage so succinct and thorough as to leave me dumbfounded and questioning all my previously held beliefs on the subject. Please read the passage in question which concerns itself with the Laminites and their failure to heed a directive from God:
NEPHI 5:15-24
Wherefore, the word of the Lord was fulfilled which he spake unto me, saying that: Inasmuch as they will not hearken unto thy words they shall be cut off from the presence of the Lord. And behold, they were cut off from his presence.
21 And he had caused the cursing to come upon them, yea, even a sore cursing, because of their iniquity. For behold, they had hardened their hearts against him, that they had become like unto a flint; wherefore, as they were white, and exceedingly fair and delightsome, that they might not be enticing unto my people the Lord God did cause a skin of blackness to come upon them.
22 And thus saith the Lord God: I will cause that they shall be loathsome unto thy people, save they shall repent of their iniquities.
23 And cursed shall be the seed of him that mixeth with their seed; for they shall be cursed even with the same cursing. And the Lord spake it, and it was done.
24 And because of their cursing which was upon them they did become an idle people, full of mischief and subtlety, and did seek in the wilderness for beasts of prey.
25 And the Lord God said unto me: They shall be a scourge unto thy seed, to stir them up in remembrance of me; and inasmuch as they will not remember me, and hearken unto my words, they shall scourge them even unto destruction.
So there you have it. Millions of righteous Mormons can't be wrong!
Reading along in the Book I happened upon another passage that rationally makes a strong case for polygamy. I have half a mind to convert and procure for myself at least 4 wives and what man wouldn't do the same? Imagine the good-natured give and take, the unexpected (and delightful) hormonally induced mood swings, the kindhearted suggestions for better ways to do everything, the refreshing use of intuition and emotion instead of tired, old logic. Imagine all this and then multiply by 4.....Where do I sign up??!!
12 comments:
Dear Blob & Maria Callous - you're both absolutely correct. I've been a little "over the top", lately. I ask, humbly, for your forgiveness. You'll see that I can be a better, more collegial correspondent; but at the same time, concise as well. For example: I felt that this latest post was very interesting, yet quite amusing. Congratulations.
Dear Blob & Maria Callous - you're both absolutely correct. I've been a little "over the top", lately. I ask, humbly, for your forgiveness. You'll see that I can be a better, more collegial correspondent; but at the same time, concise as well. For example: I felt that this latest post was very interesting, yet quite amusing. Congratulations.
I assure you, Blob; this double-posting of my contrite apology must be a quirk of the internet. You may rest confident in the knowledge that there will be no more "crazy" nonsense, or puerile japes from me. Once again, you've written a fine article.
Hey mike, I like your wacky postings. I just hate the yokel one, he pisses me off. But then again, I hate yokels in general. But your Caesar thing was pretty funny. I laughed on the inside, I assure you.
Mikexxxster!! I'm am downright shocked !! That you would so easily succumb to just a 'soupcon' of pressure around your enigmatic style on this blog and be so easily censored by some hyper-sensitive contributors.
What happened to 'free speech'? To one's freedom to be an individual and express him/herself as they see fit? And this, from a man who proudly wears Lululemon. Where's your gumption, soldier? Don't cowtow to these would be literary wannabes who would have you clip your angels wings and dampen your 'devil may care' attitude. Tsk, tsk.....if, after all these year I had known you were that easy....well, let's not go there.
Rejoice in your creativity, be comfortable in your strong voice, we will still love you, even when we might think you may spew forth inane and archaic drivel! Remember, we've been putting up with you for all these years and have become immune to it !!!
Yours in Blobbydom,
PS: I hope you know that I write this with the deepest respect.....and be comfortable in the knowledge that Blob isn't the only one who has faithful fans.........
PPS: By the way.....I'm still ticked that you left on Sunday.......
Anonymous! Once, I was like you!! You're fearless; you're not afraid to dig around, not "askeared", as our yokel friends (sorry, Maria; and thanks for your support!) might say, to ask the hard questions; to be yourself!! You've given me a lot to think about!!! Maybe, just maybe, Blob is nothing more than a bullying, failed pie-baking schmuck of a loser!!! Ya!! That's it!!! That's the ticket!! He's not the boss of me!! That Julius Caesar bit wasn't half-bad.......and the Latin grammer was good; it was real good!!! Blobber! A word of advice! Keep your head up in the corners!! I'm back in the game, baby!! Mikexxxster's still big, it's The Blob that got small!!
I think Mikexxxster is more effective when he's as bland as I am.
Yeeehaaaaw!!!Billy-Bloby! i done desided Im fixen' ta git all maariedup! alls Ineed nows are a gal ta git hich upto!Whatsabout them gals what writein ta yer blob? Is they's all hichedup,manwize?Toronnamase er ViV erpardicegal erMairas Mama?(Not Mairia, tis' claer ta meshe aint parshil t'us courntryfolk sota say!what thornbrush did she back into?)Youse pick one out fer me billyBlob, i dont care, I trust ya! Ijest needs a gal ta stak firewood an slop the pigs an'that, nothin' to drastik(ankeep the ol' matres warm ifn ya catsh my drift ehblob?? haha!) i heerd themcity gals is partial ta clasy citty-fellers but Bolb, I ot me a steddy job down ta the tannery(it hardly stinks atal no moredown ther! an' i claens up reel goodsinse i jest sterted usn' saop!!) an' iffen she say I Do afor two long, i can stil say I's got more teeeth then tatooes! howmany fellers coud say that pas' the age o'25, i ax ya?! Anwaysblob i can use al bits o' advise yous anyer pals can advice me on.mabe a movin'piture show , ana big feed down ta the diner(2 fer 1 on Sunday!)afters Church on sunday! Spred th' word eh, i jes' knows Icoud make sum gal nottoo unhappie!!!
Dear Blob,
I am a hot young Brazilian woman in Rio de Janeiro. I spend most of my days on Impanema beach and partying at night. I have started to find my existence somewhat meaningless of late and am looking for a mature mentor, or failing that just some good advice. What I want to know is; am I contributing anything to society?
Maria del Clevagio
Hey Blob,
Have been out of town soaking up culture, so I have been behind in my reading. Oh my.
In any case, I don"t know what Mixxster has been up to, but I guess he has carpal tunnel by now. Maybe speed-typing school would help.
Can we get back to the matter at hand, viz. my man Joe Smith.
I have always thought of him as a sort of religious genius (what hey--23 wives...), but I had no idear he was such a simpleton about our swarthy friends and neighbors. What a maroon!
Still, you have to give a man credit for making such a large mythology all on his own in upstate New York.
I think like my friend, the yokel, he must have had a large surplus of iron in his blood.
I guess the polygamy took care of that in time. Also the angry rifle- wielding mob that shot him down- that always works.
Anyhow, thanks for the shout out to my former faith. So many memories...
P.B. I agree, the man (Joe Smith) was the greatest snakeoil salesman ever. It kind of makes me want to start my own religion but I'm not schizo enough to pull it off. I think if we were to return in 200 years Elvisism and Oprahtarianism would be in full flower. Judaism will have finally collapsed under the weight of mixed marriage and delicious (delicious!) bacon and Islam, after having killed all infidels, will once and for all flourish as the religion of peace that we won't allow it to be.
You're a prophet, Blob!
I worship thee!
Post a Comment