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Thursday, August 09, 2007

The Life of Pie

The idyllic country life is doing me a world of good. My emphyzema has cleared up, the gout is but a thing of the past, and the mysterious rash, while still spreading, has taken on a marvelous, rosy hue.

Today Phyllis and I replanted a mugho pine and harvested a trunkload of woodchip mulch from a roadside pile. I took some time of from pie baking to go catch a couple of frogs down by the creek for a young, tow headed boy name of Henry.
About those pies...I just happen to be here for the 100th anniversary of the Priddis & Millarville County fair. http://www.millarville-ab.com/Fair.html This year only there's a special $1000 prize for the best Saskatoon berry pie so spurred on by Phyllis we ponied up the 5 dollar entry fee and I've been perfecting my technique for the past few days using friends and relatives as pie tasting guinea pigs.

The saskatoon is a Western delicacy and is drier with a more pronounced almond note than the blueberry. Getting a filling with the proper "ooze quotient" has proven a challenge but I'm not about to give up. Last year's winner Louisa Webb (that smug, gingham clad bitch) better not be resting on her laurels cause I'm coming after her with all the resolve and Eastern know how that this city boy can muster!!

In a day or so I'll be heading even further afield with a 3-4 day excursion that will take us through Banff, Jasper and the West Edmonton Mall. As such I'll not be able to do any posting. I leave feeling more hopeful than I have in days as the name calling, taunting, and chastizing that has gone on between my contributors, their alter egos, and myself is all but a thing of the past. May The Blob continue to be the oasis of love (and pie)that it was meant to be...... Piece be with you.


13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Blob,

A little advice; I have found that any and all cuisine is made better with the simple addition of pork chops. Instead of making a crust for the top, just layer on scrumptious, Jesus loving pork chops.

Disregard my advice at your peril!
Dixxx

slapper58 said...

What a brilliant idea Dixxx!!! I'm sitting here going "why didn't I think of that??!!" A meat crust may just be the winning ticket...I could even carve each chop to resemble Alberta or the Queen. It's as though a whole new world of possibilities has opened up. A million thanks !! Judging is Aug. 18th...stay tuned

Anonymous said...

OMG, I laughed so hard there were tears running down my face...this is at work. My colleague Jules commented that he's never seen me laugh like that.

Dixxx, you crazy bastard, keep it up.

Oh shit, I see the double entendre.

Mikexxxster said...

Hi there, Blobster! Truly, we are living in a golden age!! It seems that the planets are in alignment, and the Music of the Spheres is having It's magical effect! All is happiness and bonhommie (and not just on The Blob)!!! I got an email today from a close, personal friend(let's call her Stephanie), that in it's simple warmth, enthusiasm and all-round lust- for- life has my head spinning!! I understood that she and I would drive to an out-of town gig together on Saturday; it seems that she has a better idea!! Let me share with you what she wrote (this is, I assure you, verbatim): "Hey, lover boy, when do you want me to be at your house on Saturday? Get a new mattress". Well!!!! No one needs to say THAT twice to the ol' Mikexxxster! Nobody could misinterpret that (How she knows about my ((maybe)) needing a new mattress is a closed file, of course; the English have a saying, "a gentleman may poach, but he must never peach!" Never said better!)!! Blob! I'm sure she knew nothing about that MediMate Kit!! Clearly; it's like catnip to women!!! Good luck with that contest, Blobbie; having tasted your wares myself (so to speak), I know you cannot fail to win!!! (And that Dixxx! What a lively sense of humour!!) I've got to run! I've got a sub to find!!!

Anonymous said...

WOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I gotta tell ya, Blob, yer gonna to do super in that thier pie eatin' contest! I no it!I seen ya eat! I told them judges about that cheetin' bitch lousia webb (just likewhat yu said) to the the pie eatin' contest judges (the internets is reel good fer that!) an thier REEL interesed! They wanna no all about you!!! I told thos guys you was'nt no countryhick like them,and you was from out east so yer way smarter than them dum-ass coumtry hicks orthat lousia Webb! so Blob just get out thier an' eat a tons of them funy soundin' pies cause yer the best! when you git back to civalizatin,(dang!) sivalisashan,(Dang!) town i kno youwll thank me reel good! a beer or sevin'd be awesom! Yer thebestBlob! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!eat them piesWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Maria Callous said...

Wow, that anonymous hick seems to enjoy punctuating as much as Mikexxster does!! What a weird coincidence!!!! As a true lover of your baking Blobby, I have to give you the thumbs up. It would be bitchin to win one of them contests (oh hell--damn toothless yokels). I am watching the hours run away from me--Boredom seems to separate the very particles I consist of and I can't help feeling like a beautifully delicious cheese would against the cold hard metal of a grater... Oh, in case you didn't get it, I'm punching the clock.

Anonymous said...

I'm just wondering whether the picture you posted is of the pie you've made, cause if so, you're a shoe-in! How many pounds have you and Phyllis put on since you started experimenting? Just wondering!

slapper58 said...

Thanks Vivi but that isn't my pie...the lattice dough is WAY too thick. Do I look like a barbarian to you??!! Luckily there have been many relatives, friends, and party goers who have shared the bounty. We haven't overdosed just yet.
Maria I hear you loud and clear. Expressing yourself poetically is the best defence against work related boredom. BTW that IS a weird coincidence with Mike aka Anonymous. We're all hoping and praying that Stephanie makes good on her flirtations (Note to all concerned readers:Please get your $50's in before saturday. Stephanie is NOT cheap and she means business. We can't let this opportunity pass us by!!)

slapper58 said...

Just in case anyone misunderstood that last message the requested donations will go towards the "Get Mikexxxster a New Mattress" fund. I'm looking at a king size Serta perfect sleeper (top of the line!)Mike and any potential guests deserve the best.

Mikexxxster said...

C'mon, everybody!! Just because The Dear Leader,aka Blobber,is hors-de- combat while camping on the shores of Weaselpiss Creek, Alberta (dreaming of the perfect saskatoon-berry pie, of all things!), doesn't mean the party has to wither on the vine!! Sweet Maria! Feel free to make a snide comment about my anal-retentive punctuation! Dixxx! Just write the words "pork" and "chop" in the same sentence as the word "Jesus" , so that paradisegal can go to sleep smiling quietly to herself! Partybear; be yourself! Brandon; do nothing!! Sadly, I believe that you've shot your wad already-no shame in that, loser!!! Torontomave; Viv, call me (if you know what I'm trying to say,wink, wink!). We are,all together, more than the sum of The Blob's parts (so to speak)!!! Let's all show the Blobster that , as much as we love him, he's completely dispensable!!! We, the People.....know what I'm sayin'???

Maria Callous said...

Blob, for the record, I don't think you're dispensible. Don't think I wait around refreshing the page to hear what these other fat-heads have to say (especially Blandon). But I suppose we have to try and amuse ourselves in these hard times. SO....what'd everybody do today?........ Anything interesting?.......Anything at all??

Mikexxxster said...

It may have been the lateness of the hour, or perhaps the Strong Drink (Brandon-if I could take it back, I would. But still; think about what I said! I hope you'll think of me as a severe, unsparing yet kindly uncle.); the word I was looking for, of course, was indispensable!! The point not made was that Our Fearless Leader will return, refreshed and invigorated from His chillin', and will be proud to see His little bloblets continuing the Good Work He has begun! Let us show Him all that we have learned, while toiling in His Majestic Shadow!! Let Him say unto us, that if The Blobber and His Blob last for a thousand years, men will still say: "This was their finest hour; look upon their works,ye Mighty, and despair!!!" That's what my sleep- deprived, alcohol-fuddled brain was trying to say! Come on!! Do it for Him!!! All Hail The Blobster!!!!

Maria Callous said...

Blob, this is getting pretty serious now. As you can probably tell by the last couple of posts made my mikexxxster and myself, the blob is getting very dull indeed without the presence of our beloved ringleader. Please come home soon and we promise to be even more witty and enchanting that we were before. Blob be with you.