Dear Blob,
A while back you mentioned Weird Al Yankovic and Alan Sherman in a post. Both were great parodists but they dealt mostly with pop music. Any ideas for a guy who'd like to break into the business but prefers classical music?
yours truly,
Crazy Alan Sleemowitz*
Excellent question Crazy Alan and I can see by your name that we're going to have a lot of work to do. Just like anything else being a good song parodist requires hard work and a significant investment of time. Sure you could go the "MAD Magazine" route and take the cheap laugh where a Star Trek spoof becomes Star Blech. They just phone that stuff in whereas a more serious jokester would go with Star Dreck thereby adding the treasured NYC, Yiddish edge. (Dreck means shit BTW, for those of you who still buy your so called bagels at the supermarket)
I love classical music as much as the next person but it has an inherent disadvantage in that it is much more esoteric than pop or folk and many of the songs are in a foreign language. The obvious answer is to start with English language favorites: A selection from Handel's Messiah,
"O Death, Where is thy Sting" becomes "O Death, Where are my Keys". Bernstein's semi-classical "Glitter and Be Gay" from the musical Candide becomes "Glitter and be a Fag"....you get the idea. Start doing your homework and get back to me with the results.
*Ed. Note: After receiving a scathing rebuke for his previous post The Blob will temporarily be instituting a new "Playin' it Safe" policy whereby all questions directed towards the site will be composed in house. Rumor has it that several law suits are in the works so the wagons must be circled, the hatches battened down, and loins girded in an attempt to fend off the foe, ride out the storm, and protect loins. The most recent attack came from a usually placid and unlikely source...please bear with us.
A while back you mentioned Weird Al Yankovic and Alan Sherman in a post. Both were great parodists but they dealt mostly with pop music. Any ideas for a guy who'd like to break into the business but prefers classical music?
yours truly,
Crazy Alan Sleemowitz*
Excellent question Crazy Alan and I can see by your name that we're going to have a lot of work to do. Just like anything else being a good song parodist requires hard work and a significant investment of time. Sure you could go the "MAD Magazine" route and take the cheap laugh where a Star Trek spoof becomes Star Blech. They just phone that stuff in whereas a more serious jokester would go with Star Dreck thereby adding the treasured NYC, Yiddish edge. (Dreck means shit BTW, for those of you who still buy your so called bagels at the supermarket)
I love classical music as much as the next person but it has an inherent disadvantage in that it is much more esoteric than pop or folk and many of the songs are in a foreign language. The obvious answer is to start with English language favorites: A selection from Handel's Messiah,
"O Death, Where is thy Sting" becomes "O Death, Where are my Keys". Bernstein's semi-classical "Glitter and Be Gay" from the musical Candide becomes "Glitter and be a Fag"....you get the idea. Start doing your homework and get back to me with the results.
*Ed. Note: After receiving a scathing rebuke for his previous post The Blob will temporarily be instituting a new "Playin' it Safe" policy whereby all questions directed towards the site will be composed in house. Rumor has it that several law suits are in the works so the wagons must be circled, the hatches battened down, and loins girded in an attempt to fend off the foe, ride out the storm, and protect loins. The most recent attack came from a usually placid and unlikely source...please bear with us.
21 comments:
Look, I hate to be the barer of bad news but I'm not that brazilian (for the lack of a better term) whore. Are you people f&#%ing retarded?!?! That Cleavage bit SCREAMS Dixxx. You people obviously don't spend enough time on the blob to know his writing style (or perhaps, I should say he doesn't spend enough time here, which he doesn't). The man is IN brazil you morons!! Leave me alone!!
ps, Mike looks way hotter in those boobs than me.
Dear Blob,
While I am in fact in Brazil, I can not take responsibility for Maria del Clevagio. She is probably just one of the many lovely young ladies that have sought me out on the beach looking for a point in the right direction. Am I a monster for directing them to the Blob? Nay. It is the xenophobic readership of this noble site that are the monsters. That poor girl was just looking for some guidance, and instead she got more of the controversy she experiences everyday. Shame on you blobophiles for not accepting someone from outside the flock. This incident marks a sad day in the short, but illustrious history of the Blob.
Yours in Christo
Dixxx
Fair enough Dixxx. (somebody should have reminded me that you're in Brazil!!) I`ve been to Rio twice and indeed remember Ipanema beach not so much for the scenic sand and surf but for the many young girls who as you so correctly noted, experienced controversy everyday. (???)
BTW I GAVE guidance so go back to your caipirinhas and whatever weird instrument you are being overpayed to play. There was no sad day here!!!
I should have explained the controversy; her parents are upset that she has not had any surgical enhancements yet, and they think she will never find a husband unless she does.
Dixxx
Thanks for the clarification Dixxx. You may keep directing people my way but have them first say "Dixxx sent me" to avoid any future confusion. The Blob is clearly a work in progress. Mikexster has come up with a new system and you should do the same.
Dear Blob,
I'd like to ask for your guidance a second time. Would you know how I could capture the attention of your friend Dixxx? He seems to be the kind of nice guy that would make me a good wife some day. How could I get him to like me? My parents say I need breast surgery but that's more to attract Brazilians. What do Canadian men like?
Thanks,
Maria del Clevagio
I apologize for my sister, the hardened [mezzo] soprano, and her shameful spelling. The burden I have to bear with a sibling of the double-X chromosome who can't spell "bearer" quite properly is immense; so immense that it crushes my lower back to such a point that I need yoga to correct it. Fortuitously, my parent of similar chromosome orientation as my aforementioned kinswoman has many a Friendly tape of the Anusara Yoga discipline with which I can properly rectify the metaphorical back-ache.
Dear Blobby,
Well, little did I know when I hosted Mikexxxxxster, Party Bear and Mama Bear this past weekend that they would raid my photo album and snag my prime snapshot. You can imagine my dismay at having it altered to represent some fictitious wench from Rio in a bid to selfishly troll for a 'senior's mentoring gig". And as if that wasn't bad enough, to then have it alerted a second time to depict some hag of a she-man - an abomination I say.
That's the last time I go to a costume party dressed as a Brazillian..........
PS: My photo archives hold a treasure trove for you - in particular a great series of shots of the Mikexxxxster emerging victorious after a particularly intense "canteloupe" wrestle at the end of one marathon camping weekend.
Dear Blobster; most assuredly, Dixxx DID NOT send me!-have you ever seen the (I believe, Fellini) film "The Orchestra Rehearsal"? I am reminded of it because of the near-chaos into which your usually fine site has descended. Not your fault of course! FANS OF THE BLOB! LET THE VOICE OF REASON PREVAIL!!! (That would be my voice, of course!!) I think that we can all agree; the words "uber-foxey", silicon breasts and Mikexster go together like "love and marriage" or, "horse and carriage", to quote an old song. FRIENDS OF THE BLOB!! Let me be your "sexual-spiritual lightning- rod"! Feel free to make use of sexual innuendo, snide comments, lewd suggestions etc. etc.! Think of me as a kind of Amerindian "Sin-Eater", or a "Sacrificial Lamb", much like the Christian's Jesus!!! An unlikely comparison, perhaps, but did He ever win a canteloupe-eating contest????? (Thanks for the reminder, TorontoMave!!! Happy memories!!!) One final thought: discipline, people; discipline!!! That is The Mikexster Way!!!
Of course, I should have written "Christians' Jesus". Yes! I care about proper punctuation!! So sue me. I never claimed to be the "Son" of a "God"............sheeeeesh!
Ugh!! Today ends with yet another misunderstanding. Maria Callous made a small spelling error at the beginning of this comment section and now has corrected it (barer=bearer) because she thought I was making fun of her in a comment on a different post where I italicized the word BEAR as though pointing out her mistake. I was in fact making a subtle reference to her Mom who I was calling Mama bear (wife of party bear). There is a strict Blob policy of never pointing out spelling mistakes unless provoked. What a day...I'm going to bed!!
Thanks Mave,
Sorry about the desecration. It was for a good cause though.
"And so to bed." Thus did the noted 17th century diary-keeper Samuel Pepys end so many of his entries. Don't be disheartened, Blobbie! Managing The Blob is like herding cats; at best, it can only be done badly! To all a good night! May your dreams be filled with as much sexual imagery (or not!) as you would wish!!
Blob, I understood your reference, I'm just a bad speller. My brother is the one who corrected me, but he refused to create for himself a name and insisted on remaining annonymous. I think it would be very blobbaliscious of us to find for him a proper name. Any suggestions? I like Party Cub or T-Man Grammar-Stickler.
I must say, you must have been tired to not pick up on T-man Party Cub Grammar-Stickler's presents in this commentary section (Maria, I really can't decide witch nickname I prefer). In fact I'm a little worried about the state of your mined these days in general and would like to have a won-on-Juan discussion about it. Just witnessing this latest case of absent-mined-edness has reelly softened my hart towards ewe. Awl is forgiven.
In addition to a ban on stickler-ism (since that is what I assume is going on), I propose a ban on elk-like creatures, female sheep, sharp tools, unwarranted gifts, first-place Mexicans, barrels of coal, and anything of or pertaining to the bottom part of a fishing rod.
Please, do not credit the above post to "Annonymous" (as our favourite stone-hearted vocalist would put it). It's me!
Torontomave, we apology profusely for sneaking that playful photo of you out from under your... uh...nose. It was all in fun and since your face was never used (though there's been no shortage of replacements!) we thought we'd never incur any lawsuits. Were we wrong to think thusly, sweet friend?? Thanks for your hospitality, by the way, very much enjoyed and appreciated!!
Blobby, please write another article. These people are clearly running out of interesting things to say about this one. Actually, no one has even mentioned anything about your article. I think it was a very funny one. There, by saying as little as only that, I have contributed much more than an other. You guys suck. I rule. Mwa ha ha.
You're definitely the best Maria and sorry that I haven't had the time to write today. I was actually working (a little thing I sometimes do to help my children survive). As soon as I can I'll hitch myself up to the "funny plow" and till for you a whole field's worth of whimsy. Gotta go now....must run over something for supper.
Uh, Maria, I feel somewhat ashamed of myself after reading your little note. It's true that Blob's latest entry was a good one and I did laugh. I should have mentioned it earlier. MEa Culpa. At the same time, it's just so much fun to throw silly banter at one another that surely much can be excused. But, we need more inspiration. We're drying up here!
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