Hormones: God DOES Have a Sense of Irony!!

Men and women have a lot in common but when it comes to hormonally affected behavioural patterns there's a world of difference. When men are feeling down they tend to isolate themselves thereby shutting out the world until they either feel better or murder their entire family before commiting suicide. Outside stressors by and large call the shots for men whereas women cope far better with external stimuli but are defenseless when it comes to their own hormonal surges. The irritability, bloating, and despondency are a heavy burden to bear but women have learnt to share the pain with their loved ones.

For eons well meaning men have been baffled by the irrational moodiness and have come up with all sorts of ineffective coping strategies: Disengagement, appeasment (or the "Yes dear" approach), futile aggression, pre-emptive ice cream etc. but nothing seems to work.

In rare and fortunate circumstances different types of therapy may help. Take the case of the recently departed "Bitch of Broadway" Leona Helmsley, who left 12 million to her dog while cutting her grandchildren out of the will. Very late in life she was diagnosed with a severe case of S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder). While this is sometimes referred to as the winter blues, Leona's case was so severe that no amount of summer sunshine seemed to make a difference. It was only when she began intensive light therapy treatments that people could stand to be around her and she stopped beating her servants.



Again, a case like this is the exception rather than the rule so where does that leave the rest of us? Life is hard enough so here at The Blob I'm always on the lookout for products or services that will make things just that much easier. Wouldn't you know it...scientists at Caprice Industries Ltd. may be on to something. They've provided some literature:

Remember the 70's and the mood ring fad? Small plastic rings with an embedded liquid that would change color based on how you were feeling. They soon went out of style when the liquid was found to be a lead based, radioctive, carcinogen, a detail that had been overlooked by the Chinese sub-contractors.

Here at Caprice Industries Ltd. we've taken that basic technology, removed the toxins, and infused these heat sensitive chemicals into a thermo-plastic resin. While still molten this resin is then molded into a suspendable seat (suspension allows a free flow of air) which is sensitive to even the smallest temperature fluctuations of a woman's pelvi-genito complex before the actual hormonally induced effects have a chance to take hold. For the man of the house this allows for an extra few minutes while evasive action is still possible, the woman can simply lock herself in the bedroom with a good book and a dish of ibuprofen! This color coded warning system is similar to the Terrorist Threat Key used by the U.S. government. The color coding is illustrated in the picture: Red means all clear and after that you decide what course of action is best!!! For more information please contact us at capriceindustriesltd.com