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Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Ask Uncle Blob

Maria Callous asks:

A good friend of mine told me that since he's sworn off dating, the dates have been flocking to him. Now, do you think that this is a natural law of the universe or is it simply that when we give up on dating that we emit some kind of weird vibes or odours (like pheremones, you know???) that make us more enticing?

Dear Maria,

Excellent question and the topic is right in my wheelhouse, to use an old baseball phrase. Wheelhouse means the place a ball is thrown where the batter is most likely to be able to hit it with power and its origins are postulated thusly courtesy of word-detective.com:

(On the other hand, it does seem more likely that the locomotive turntable "wheelhouse" (often called a "roundhouse") is the source, likening the awesome swing of the rail yard turntable to the batter's powerful swing. An additional argument for this theory is that sweeping side-arm pitches have been known as "roundhouse" pitches since about 1910, and, of course, the "roundhouse punch" is delivered with the same sort of motion. Thus, by 1959, this sort of "wheelhouse" had already been used as a metaphor for powerful motion for more than fifty years.)

Now, back to your question. I don't know who your friend is but I know a thing or two about trying too hard. Think about overswinging at a baseball for instance....you may knock one out of the park if you connect but more often than not you'll strike out and probably corkscrew yourself into the ground trying. Once the word spreads around that you'll swing at anything you'll not be likely to see anything in your wheelhouse for quite some time.

Your friend's new laid back approach is working not because of some new odour that is suddenly emanating from his body but precisely because he no longer seems like such a needy loser. Smell has nothing to do with it....a pitcher who is stinking up the joint will be quickly yanked by his manager.

We need look no further than the famous musical West Side Story for an apt summation:

"go man go but not like some yo-yo fool boy. Just keep it cool boy....real cool."

Once your friend does score a date this philosophy will stand him in good stead. The video clip I've included in this post demonstrates in classic fashion the pitfalls of trying too hard to impress your date. Watch and learn.

22 comments:

slapper58 said...

Ed. Note: The woman in the video, while rather forward, is a fellatio instructor at The Learning Annex, hence her choice of conversation topic.

Maria Callous said...

Thanks Blobby for your sagely advice. I plan on staying the hell away from men for as long as I can stand it. I just hope to God I don't ever start looking like Larry David.

Anonymous said...

Dear Blob,
I've done some searching on this topic and the best I can come up with is that a "wheelhouse" is sometimes an alternate term for "pilothouse," a nautical term for where a ship's pilot steers the ship. I see no apparent connection to baseball here. I also turned up that "wheelhouse" is sometimes used in the railroad industry, a "wheelhouse" being the building or end of the line where a locomotive engine is turned around on a large turntable device. This latter meaning seems as if it may hold the closer connection.
There are actually three possible origins for this baseball "wheelhouse": a ship's pilothouse, the locomotive turntable housing, or the paddlewheel housing on the stern of a riverboat. The argument for a ship's pilothouse being the source is that it is the center of control of the ship, so for a pitch to be "in the wheelhouse" would logically mean that it is under the batter's control in a way that other pitches are not.

Do you smell something?
Dixxx

slapper58 said...

I smell Dixxx.
I'm respectfully sticking with the locomotive answer as power is the operative word as in "hitting with power" and not just control. The locomotive wheelhouse turns with great force.
I think we both went to the same site only you (for some reason) disagree with their conclusion.
Pilothouse is reasonable though (I'm trying to end the year on a concilliatory note).

Anonymous said...

Blob, you ignorant slut!

It's the wheel house of the ship, where you are in control of the vessel! (I actually thought it referred to a mill and the structure that houses the wheel, and thence the power). The guy whose in the wheel house has power that's under his control!

Sorry about that...too much iron in the blood!

slapper58 said...

Party bear, you glabrous ptarmigan. I provided a web site as reference. Here is the pertinent part of the article:

Paul Dickson, in his New Dickson Baseball Dictionary (Harcourt Brace & Company, 1999), defines "wheelhouse" in the baseball sense, which first appeared in print in 1959, as "That part of the strike zone in which the batter swings with the most power or strength; the path of the batter's best swing."

There are actually three possible origins for this baseball "wheelhouse": a ship's pilothouse, the locomotive turntable housing, or the paddlewheel housing on the stern of a riverboat. The argument for a ship's pilothouse being the source is that it is the center of control of the ship, so for a pitch to be "in the wheelhouse" would logically mean that it is under the batter's control in a way that other pitches are not.

On the other hand, it does seem more likely that the locomotive turntable "wheelhouse" (often called a "roundhouse") is the source, likening the awesome swing of the rail yard turntable to the batter's powerful swing. An additional argument for this theory is that sweeping side-arm pitches have been known as "roundhouse" pitches since about 1910, and, of course, the "roundhouse punch" is delivered with the same sort of motion. Thus, by 1959, this sort of "wheelhouse" had already been used as a metaphor for powerful motion for more than fifty years.

If you still have an issue you may take it up with word-detective.com
Now back to the Rosh Hashanah revelry!!

Maria Callous said...

So no one wants to talk about my problem eh?? Well I was going to say you guys need to go out and find some dates to keep you people occupied, since all you can do is argue about meaningless CRAP that has NOTHING to do with the main subject found in the article at hand but about a tangent within the article. BUT you people are all dating someone, married or getting married and I also noticed that the only male in the group who didn't respond was the bachelor formerly known as mikexxxster. So I suppose he's off gallivanting (or surfing for porn), painting the town red (or a foggy white) while you people avoid your significant others but babbling about semantics. Well, I think I have my answer after all. It's the single life for me! Thanks uncle Blob!

Anonymous said...

Blobeleh, you magnificent Weirdo,

Two things: Ships with Wheelhouses predate both Steamship wheels and Train roundhouses.
The term wheelhouse, as I and the redoubtable Mike Wilson use it means "in your area of strength or expertise. It has been used thus for perhaps centuries. So: "Smeell the Glove" no more; this is not merely a baseball metaphor, but a useful tidbit for all mankind, to be used often and with vigour, gol darnit!

Anonymous said...

Maria, your wit is truly impressive. Good show! I feel for you in your present quandary about dating and will give it some serious thought. Tomorrow. Manana. At present I'm busy ignoring my significant other by reading the Blob. Luckily, he's doing the same, so I don't hae to feel guilty. Isn't life grand?

Anonymous said...

Who spelled that last post?

This boy needs a touch of the cane to correct his errant ways!

TorontoMave said...

xxxx

TorontoMave said...

My goodness. You are all such good 'analysts'. Anytime you want to freelance for something other than music, I have a job for you in the corporate world. If only I could count on such thorough
"deep dives" into the meaning of 'wheelhouse' or 'pilothouse' as far as research and opinion goes I'd be ectatic during my 7 to 6 existence.

Maria, my best advice to you is take up a hobby (that doesn't involve the opposite sex....or sex of any kind for that matter !!!). If I've learned anything in my short life (well, relatively short life compared to Mikexxxster) on this planet, it's that you can count on this one thing implicitely.......the minute you stop lusting for something and decide to put your energies elsewhere, lo and behold the thing you previously lusted for tends to fall in your lap out of the sky.......shucks, that's why the word "irony" was invented.......

Cheers.

PS: On anther matter, you may not realize this yet, but your parents ROCK !!!!

Maria Callous said...

Thanks mave. My parents do rock don't they? I'll start my new life tomorrow by not putting makeup on to impress the hot guy in my class. I'll wear my nerd glasses and my sneakers and I'm sure to drive him away! I can feel the universe bending to my will... MWA HA HA!!!

Anonymous said...

Dear torontomave,

I am a sexy overwieght 47 year old male who needs a new job.
Also my research skills are non pareil, ne plus ultra and strictly top drawer.
When is your team coming to Montreal again? We are having a bitchin' dinner party on Saturday night (cocktails at 6.00, dinner to follow), and we want to return the favour for those lovely meals we had chez casa Chisholm.

Love,

Party Bear

slapper58 said...

Enough about "wheelhouse" already. Maria needs help and the Blob community failed to rally around her...I mean her friend! (except for TO Mave).
I know women who rarely end up with a date or end up with the "wrong" date because of the defensive vibes they give out at all times. They deflect flirtatious advances with clever comebacks that end the conversation. Part of the "not trying too hard" approach is to be receptive and aware and most importantly to love yourself enough so that when a suitable candidate appears interested or when you're interested in a suitable candidate you are confident enough to just be yourself (as if to say "this is me, if you don't like it you suck and aren't worth my time!") Oh yeah...good hygiene counts too.

Anonymous said...

Dear Maria,

Come pay me a visit and it won't matter shit how much make-up you wear or the clothes you choose to slap on, the boys will be all over you like a cheap suit - 8 men to every 1 female. Btw the more cutting your convo is the more they'll want you!

Yours in paradise,
Laura

Maria Callous said...

My dad tells me that I scare guys away cuz I'm so forward and cuz I swear a lot. Maybe that's true but I believe what Paradise girl says: I can't be too offensive or too freakin hilarious! And I have been trying Blob's approach and I am totally myself around guys. I guess it's working, I dunno. The guys never really flocked to me so I can't tell. BUT my chin is up and so is my bustline so I think I'll be successful in the end!

slapper58 said...

A good question, a good answer, some helpful and not so helpful side commentary and one happy contributor ready to seize the day!! Thank you Maria for helping "The Blob" fulfill its mandate. (speaking of mandate...any luck???)

TorontoMave said...

Dear Blob,

A recent article in the Toronto Star:

TSO COULD USE SOME OF MONTREAL ORCHESTRA'S RAZZLE DAZZLE
While our orchestra is clearly superior, the MSO – with its hype and light shows – simply has more pizzazz.

I'd be interested in hearing the perspective of your readers. The full article can be found at www.thestar.com/article/256411.

Party Bear: sorry we couldn't make dinner last night. Perhaps another time?

Anonymous said...

Dear Blob,
It has been my life's ambition to become a grand master Scrabble player. Outside of playing lots of Scrabble; is there any technique or mind focusing gimmick that might help me?

Fred Phelps

Maria Callous said...

Fuck toronto.

Anonymous said...

Hey torontomave,

Sorry you guys couldn't make it! Please drop by sometime though! Just be hungry, and preferably scantily clad...wait, that's your place I'm talking about.