2007: Things Can Only Get Better

2006 will go down as a miserable year where lots of bad stuff happened, lots of good people died, and lots of bad people who should have died didn't. Here at the Blob we can only hope that in the year "ought ought seven" we will not be shaken by global events but rather stirred into action. Already, just a few days in to the new year, the world is a much better place in which to live. Take a look and you'll see people walking with a spring in their step and a smile on their faces. With the execution of Saddam Hussein a new sense of optimism has spread from the gallows of Iraq across the entire planet. The celebrations continue in the Middle East where revelers fire their mortar shells skyward and detonate the explosive vests they wear producing a riotous, multi-coloured expression of unbridled joy!

Here in the West citizens and pundits alike have been bending over backwards to apologize to President and Commander in Chief George Bush for ever having doubted his strategy and keen insight...."You were right Mr. President....Saddam's execution is a clear indication of just how much progress has been made in Iraq. We've been such fools!!"

On the home front and on a more personal level there are some surefire ways of making 2007 a better year. By setting lofty goals with our New Year's resolutions we are setting ourselves up for failure. It's nice to say you'll lose 50 pounds and quit the booze, drugs, cigarettes, gambling, and whores but we all know it's not gonna happen. The last few years I've set more modest goals and have been overjoyed with my success:

2003 - Only one piece of gum at a time.

2004 - No more horizontal lines on the letter "I" when I do crossword puzzles.

2005 - Cut lettuce with a knife...no more tearing.

2006 - Slice oranges into 8ths rather than quarters. (while this may seem like more work it actually makes eating them easier and ends up being more efficient)

2007 - Double the crisp to apple ratio in all future apple crisps.

Tomorrow I leave for Cartagena, Colombia for a week and a half of fun, sun, and concertizing. I'm not sure if I'll be able to do any posting but many of you who have been rather silent on this site will have the time and opportunity to come up with some comments or questions. If you need me I'll be at the Cartagena Hilton in a hammock under a coconut palm, sipping a pina colada while drying off from yet another dip in the azure waters of the Caribbean.