"The constant sobbing was one thing but the hunger strike was really what got to us" said L.A. sherriff department spokesmodel Steve Whitmore after heiress Paris Hilton's early release from jail late wednesday night. When informed that her behaviour was merely an expected result of her being in jail coupled with her latest eating disorder,(that hot new, status symbol among celubutantes) he could only shrug his shoulders and insist that, as a rule, they were not used to dealing with this socio-economic class.
Outrage among the general public has been widespread but Ms. Hilton claims to be misunderstood and insists that her 40 days of upcoming house arrest will be no picnic. "I'll have to wear a sort of ankle bracelet monitoring device and it's literally off the rack, Prada's version won't be out till the fall season."
Apparently her 3 day stint was an arduous experience. The degradation, the violence and the madness of daily prison life were chronicled in her detailed journal that has already been sold to a noted Hollywood producer and turned into a soon-to-be-released major motion picture. Believe it or not I got my hands on the trailer and in the words of Paris "It's hot!!!" http://www.blue-underground.com/index.php?pg=displayItem&item_id=85 I have to warn you that in the interest of full disclosure this clip holds nothing back and features quite a bit of nude lesbian prison sex, catfights, shower scenes, humiliation and towards the end some very disturbing and dissonant piano cluster chords on the soundtrack. All told it may be a bit too much to handle for some of my readers. The others are already off watching...ahhh nature....the lighting strike of a chameleons tongue on an unsuspecting fly, the blurred majesty of a hummingbird's wing in motion, and the dazzling quickness of men clicking there mouse when a link promises nude lesbian prison sex.
All over America prison wardens have seen a spectacular rise in ther number of inmates who are sobbing uncontrollably and exhibiting symptoms of anxiety and depression. A clear precident has been established and we can expect to see a mass exodus of these hurting souls within days. Just listen to what one prisoner had to say: " I gots put in here 3 years ago for possession of marijuana but just a couple of days ago I realized that it's so bad in jail that it's driving me crazy...they're gonna have to be
sending me home with one of those bracelets or something!" said LaDoofius Baylor from Lake Lafayette State Prison in Louisiana.
Now we have word that the judge specifically denied house arrest and that the Sherrif's dept. may be held in contempt pending a further hearing this afternoon. Stay tuned...this is a story with legs.
8 comments:
How can you be so cruel to me? Wasn't it bad enough that you left me at the altar? Now this! If I didn't have this tacky electronic anklet I'd come up there and give you the clap again!
Paris.
Dear Paris,
You are clearly deranged, a troubled soul in a flouncy wisp of a dress. There was no altar,no leaving you,no clap (at least none caused by you)so why don't you just back off and stop stalking me. You don't want me to call the cops , do you....or even worse Phyllis my girlfriend. She'd turn you into a pile of kindling in no time!
Is it true that you can give someone pink-eye by farting on their pillow?
Dixxx
Was that you, you bastard??? I woke up this morning with my eyes glued shut and they've been red and itchy all day. That's it Dixxx!!! No more sleepovers and you can whine and bitch all you want. No means No!!
Apparently the world of F1 is embroiled in the Ground Hog vs. Beaver controversy. Is there a simple way to educate the British drivers on the difference between the two? This way they would be sure of exactly what animal they had just vaporized as they sped down the final stretch.
Dixxx
sorry...the link to the film clip has been taken down without explanation. Those of us who saw it can consider ourselves lucky...it was very, very good!
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