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Friday, June 15, 2007

Ground Hog vs. Beaver




Dixxx said...
Apparently the world of F1 is embroiled in the Ground Hog vs. Beaver controversy. Is there a simple way to educate the British drivers on the difference between the two? This way they would be sure of exactly what animal they had just vaporized as they sped down the final stretch.






True enough last weeks Grand Prix de Montréal had it's share of mayhem. Here's a press clipping:



Beaver grabs F1 headlines
dead groundhog not amused
RANDY BOSWELL, CanWest News ServicePublished: Tuesday, June 12, 2007
The final, unfortunate act in the life of an unwitting Ile Notre Dame rodent has grabbed headlines around the world after British Formula One driver Anthony Davidson blamed a "beaver" for wandering into the path of his car and ruining his race at Sunday's crash-marred Canadian Grand Prix.






The beaver was in fact a groundhog as anyone on this side of the pond could tell you. Fellow racer Fernando Alonzo spotted the chunky rodent and insinctively tried to warn Davidson despite the obvious futility. He's a bloody Spaniard and he knew what it was... so being British is no excuse!! Maybe being a citizen of a former imperial power leads to navel gazing so your average Brit wouldn't know the difference between a beaver and a groundhog if one was gnawing on his bollocks while the other had a nibble at his arse!!


To add to the confusion the Circuit Gilles Villeneuve, as the track is named, has a distinctly rodent like shape. I say it looks beaverish but this is open to debate.

Maybe this brush with doom will educate Davidson and his fans as he now joins other animal killing athletes of repute: Jim Lorentz of the Buffalo Sabres (AKA Batman) sliced one of the flying rats out of the air with his stick and was hailed as a hero. In the new "MY NHL" he'd have been given a 2 game suspension.

Pitcher Randy Johnson pureed a wayward Skydome seagull with a 100 mph fastball and one-time Pirates ace Kent Tekulve actually wrestled an ocelot to the ground and snapped it's neck just before it could pounce on a group of wheelchair bound toddlers.
Beavers and groundhogs, I know them well. My GF is beset with the former and I the latter. I now carry pictures of the 2 species in my wallet and display them (as I segue into a short educational monologue) whenever I come upon a tourist.
It's a small gesture but one that in time should bear fruit, especially if imitated by others. OK then..on to the next problem.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Be forewarned! Mike Wilson is now on the internets!

Anonymous said...

I miss Kent Tekulve (and his neato pitching style). Baseball is so boring now.

slapper58 said...

I agree Party Bear...after Kent Tekulve (pronounced tuh-KULL-vee)retired, baseball was never the same. I not only miss him I long for him, pine for him, rue his absence and, stripped to the waist, beat myself with heavy metal chains while I scream his name in agony.

Anonymous said...

i miss john kruk's hitting style.