Too Much Information

I'm a curious fellow by nature and try to study and understand people who practice alternative lifestyles. There is however a show on CBC called Steven and Chris...sort of like Martha Stewart meets Queer Eye, that never fails to raise my ire if my random channel hopping leads to their show. See if you can tough out this clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBkEeyQe8yA and then see if you agree with me...I'm not a violent man but there's something about these two that makes me want to shoot them in the face.

One lifestyle choice I'm not a big fan of is body modification. Of course anything is OK in moderation (the distilled and diluted essence of human feces is used in some perfumes for instance

see: skatole)

but the indignities people inflict upon themselves is beyond the pale. Research led me to some sites too revolting to name where a myriad of attention starved losers pierce and cut parts and indulge in procedures I didn't even know existed...have you ever heard of a urethral reroute??? I hadn't until a few minutes ago and now I've seen pics of it!!

The internet truly is the wellspring of information that it promised to be. A generation or so ago people that knew lots of facts about many things were called "trivia buffs". The topics were more or less limited to entertainment, sports and a few others but today anything goes...it's all out there only a click a way. Yesterday's trivia buff is today's infomaniac. I myself am an infomaniac but this urethral reroute idea (along with a host of other bizarre things guys do to their dicks) has me rethinking the whole quest for knowledge.

What is clear though is that there's a large sub-culture out there attracted to this subversive form of supposed beautification and where there's a sub-culture there's also a fortune to made.

Genital adornment is the next big thing and with this in mind have I got a product for you ladies out there. Many of you have opted for labiaplasties, sizing down the labia majora for that porn star look after the girls in the shower commented on your meat curtains once too often. (BTW women with large ones are more than twice as likely to survive falls from high places because of the increased wind resistance ...see: flying squirrel)

I got to thinkin' "meat curtains...hmmmm" and so was born the concept of the labial drawstring and sconce ensemble. Not only is it decorative but it helps control that unwanted flapping noise. It's still in the prototype phase as I wait for my assistant to heal but it should be available at Home Depot by July.