Spring has Sprung

As my driveway glacier slowly recedes and Mt. Christolopoulous (as we call the majestic snowpile at my neighbour's house) turns to Lake Christolopoulous, it's safe to say that we have survived the winter of '08!! Spring, with it's bold promise of hope and renewal is at hand and it couldn't have come a moment too soon. The birds are back waking me at 5 a.m. with their delightful cacophony of joy (note to self: stop at Canadian Tire, buy Acme Bird Zapper) and the melting snow reveals tons of rotting animal feces that will be subsumed by our gardens later to become the tomatoes of August (that's also the name of my next novel).

Listen here to Nina Simone's take on the Beatles classic "Here Comes the Sun". Still an optimistic song, Simone, with a slower tempo and her moaning emphasis on key words adds a layer of meaning, the sense of relief after having survived an ordeal. We Nor'Easterners can relate: : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSSIlx9hiu8&feature=related

Spring too has it's moments of dread as any flood victim will attest but for me the fear lurks underground and, as I write this, is most likely stirring from his hivernal torpor, rubbing his beady little eyes, priming his trowel like claws, and feeling a might peckish after a 4 month fast.

I have a groundhog problem and nothing I do can stop the plundering beast. Budding flowers are routinely devoured, garbage bags violated, garden and lawn booby trapped with tunnel entrances and this brazen creature has the nerve to sun himself on my deck every morning as I watch helplessly!!

Also known as the whistlepig or land beaver this voracious and crafty earth moving machine taunts me at every turn. This is no ridiculous hand puppet as was Bill Murray's nemesis in Caddy Shack. This is the real deal; nature red in tooth and claw and armed with eons of well evolved survival skills. I almost brained it with a large rock from 30 paces once but that was as close as I'd get and now I find out that they have an uncommonly thick cranium and could easily survive a blow to the head that would jellify the brains of most other rodents.

And so another inevitable rite of spring awaits me, another round of stop gap landfill projects and pointless cayenne pepper dusting of flower beds.

This kind of brings to mind a different Bill Murray film and if any Hollywood type execs are listening OY have I got a sequel for you!! Groundhog Day II. Just think of it.....the exact same movie, don't change a thing (except the title a little bit) and in this, the irony age, people will flock to theatres or at very least revisit the movie on DVD. Small cash outlay, huge returns, what could be better??!!?? Call my people, we'll book a meeting....off to Spice Depot to pick up my bulk order of cayenne.