Maria better not take your advice and give up practicing and go on the road. Heaven forbid I should read a review that compares her to Steph Carse or Celine Dion!
This is of course in reference to Mama C's daughter and much loved Blob contributor Maria Callous.
Now I love classical music as much as the next guy or gal but these days it's little more than a delicious fruit that's being allowed to wither and dry on the vine. Maria has what it takes to be a star and pull in the big bucks so by all means let her sing something from La Sonambula or La Traviata but please.... add a synth and a peppy back beat.
Any young, attractive singer today of either sex should be encouraged to follow my advice. Today's classical-crossover consumer is typically an aging baby boomer who wants to appear cultured as he/she matures into his/her golden years so here's the formula for success: rockify some classical standards, classicize-up some pop golden oldies and hit the road. Soon enough you'll be opening for Helmut Lotti then you'll get your own record deal, a PBS special and if you're not careful an STD from one of your many admirers who survived the sexual revolution.
Today's young singer (along with the rest of their generation) needs a little more get up and go and a lot more marketing savvy. I ask you Mama C. would it be so bad to see your daughter gracing a popular semi-classical, pseudo-pop schlock CD in a year or two?
10 comments:
As long as she kept up her artistic standards, I would be happy to see her earn a living making any kind of music. But, I still wouldn't like her to be compared (favourably or unfavourably) with those freaks I mentioned earlier.
Fair enuff. Rest assured that at least on these pages such a comparison will never happen.
OK back to the beach...I mean a rehearsal.
BTW rumor has it that Mikexxster has a favorite expression or catch phrase at his orchestra gig. I believe it´s: "Hostie, que je suis bon!!!!!" (Christ I'm good!!!!!)
I'm awaiting confirmation.
I think it's "hostess, i've got a bon--oh wait, that must be steph carse. Except that all he can seem to muster is a semi.
Excuse me, that phrase is "Hostie qu'on est bon" including thereby the whole section, and it is the usual dictum of a certain BBB when he sends out another stunning, impeccable, emotional and altogether god-like performance to the unwashed masses starving for culture! Hey, what's happening to me? I borrowed Mike's computer and look!!!! Lookie heeere!!!!!!!
Thanks PB...I'll be checking my source for confirmation but that small change in wording does make a big difference. (Nice Mikexxxster imitation BTW)
I'll also have to check up on Steph Carse's erectile dysfunction unless somehow Maria C has some first hand info which I'm not privy to. His E.D. is most surprising especially since we were working that day with a conductor named Tsialis (pronounced Cialis as in the viagra-like drug that can cause potentially life threatening 4 hour erections....what a way to go!!)
Party Bear!! J'accuse!!!!!! You mock Mikexxxster at your peril!!! He uses neither too few nor too many !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!s, or ????????????s either, for that matter; he uses just the right number every time (like Herr Mozart and his musical notes!!!!!!)!!!!!!! Such is Mikexxxster's art; take it or leave it!!!!!!! Though you and your philistine, "popular-culture" loving friends - drugged-out and bleary-eyed, biliously sated on the poisonous, empty calories of the latest moving-pictures, "TV" shows and the ghastly new pop-"music" releases - have probably never heard of him, Oscar Wilde said, "Now art should never try to be popular. The public should try to make itself artistic." Bravo to that, and bravo to the heroic Mikexxxster!!!! Mr. Wilde also said "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." Party Bear!!!!! Are you looking at the stars?????????? I think not!!!!! Do I make myself clear???? Lookie here indeed!!!!! Rather, lookie up, my friend, lookie up!!!!!! Try looking at the stars, like the incomparable Mikexxxster!!!!!!
Bravo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How fitting that the "admirer of Mikexxxster" should actually be the Mikexxxster himself, especially in light of the recent info that puts the lie to Party Bear's assertion that the real quote is "Qu'on est bon". While it's true that he does indeed say this to keep up his appearance as a convivial team player my source says that there's more to the story.
In confidence he will turn to her alone and say; "Hostie que je joue bien!!!!!!!!" (Christ I play well!!!!!!!!)
Is there any doubt that this is the real MIkexxxster quote,especially in light of the previous coment??
El Senor Blobbie! Methinks your Sherlock Holmes "deer-stalker" is a little too tight!!........ (I dreamed a dream!!)........ "In confidence he will turn to her and say"......."""Hostie, que je joue bien""..........SURELY you saw the twinkle in the eyes of the witness..... or, more likely((!!!!!)) (((shame on you!!!!!)))) is it that YOU NEVER RAISED YOUR EYES above her HEAVING BOSOMS(?!?!?!?!) AND NEVER EVEN SAW HER TWINKLING EYES?!?!?!?! IS THAT NOT TRUE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!..... Your Honour, please.....(ORDER!!! ORDER!!!) Permission to treat as a hostile witness, Your Honour????? (GRANTED!!) Surely a man who's stock-in-trade (apart from banging the drum slowly........ ((how hard can that be???)) (((general laughter!!!)))............ is supposed to be HUMOUR...... would understand the concept of TWINKLING EYES?!?!?!?!?!...........WHY DO YOU HATE Mikexxxster so, Senor Blobbie??? Is it because........ (ORDER!!! ORDER!!!!!!) Permission to approach, Your Honour????? (GRANTED!!) ((He said, she said, Your Honour.......and, if it please the court, NO LAW HAS BEEN BROKEN!!!!!! We demand a dismissal!!!!!))...... "GRANTED!!!!! Clearly, you are an innocent man, Mikexxxster, and obviously, you have been hounded by an unscrupulous, unprincipaled rapscallion!!!!! ............ the Court apologises profusely, and finds you and your attorny to be total Hotties!!!!!!!! El Senor Blobbie!!! What a complete LOSER you are!!!!!!" (APPLAUSE and LAUGHTER all round!!!!!!) ((As I said, I dreamed a glorious dream!!!!!!!!!!) (( NO ALCOHOL WAS ABUSED IN THE PRODUCTION OF THIS POST!!!!!))
Merely USED...
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