I like to think of the Blob as a site that is many things to seven people and one of these things is a forum for openly discussing our ideas and pet theories without fear of ridicule (unless the idea or theory is totally stupid). In that spirit I'd like to express my views on soccer and the world cup which is now a global phenomenon.
I've been an avid World Cup fan for years and was looking forward to this year's edition as I have for all the others. I've caught as many games as possible and have listened disapprovingly as U.S. sports talk pundits have trashed the spectacle. Well guess what (and I hate to admit this) I now think they're right! Yes, there have been a couple of compelling matches, skillful plays, and beautiful goals but not enough to balance out the shortcomings: predictable games (0-0 1st half, questionable call in the 2nd half that leads to a goal, leading team goes into a defensive posture, other team misses a golden chance and player clasps his head in shame), poor refereeing, faked injuries, and diving
Tell me if you've seen this before: An amazingly fit young soccer player gets hit in the shin by an opposing player's sock and spends several minutes writhing on the ground sorrounded by a concerned medical team. A stretcher is brought out and waits at the ready but is dispatched when miraculously the player lurches to his feet and 30 seconds later is prancing around like a friggin gazelle. I've been hit many times in the ankle with a flying puck and just kept on playing....I'm 47 and a Jew. These soccer pansies have NO excuse!
Then there are the refs who miss calls and make the wrong calls as a matter of course and generally have been dictating the flow of most of the games (if not the outcomes). The NHL playoffs KICK THE WORLD CUP'S ASS!!! Nevertheless I'll sit myself down in a couple of hours with the rest of the world and hope for a great game. I'm predicting a tight, low scoring affair(duh) with one team taking the lead midway throught the 2nd half only to be tied late off a questionably awarded penalty kick(double duh). The game will be decided in a shootout and France will win when an Italian star hits the crossbar and publicly disembowels himself. After the game zillions of people who know or care little about soccer will rush outside, honk their horns and wave flags. Remember.....you heard it here first!
6 comments:
So I got the teams and the times wrong but I nailed the final score, the shootout decision, the key struck crossbar (still waiting on the disembowling), and the questionable call resulting in a penalty kick goal. I'll be accepting kudos for the next 3 days only....don't delay! Oh yeah...it was a fine game. I'll be back for more 4 years from now.
I have never given a rat's ass about the world cup.
I've never even noticed what kind of public response
it was getting from those around me [I've been in the US for the last 17 years] though I'm amazed to see how much my friends from Canada are talking
about it this time around. [the centenary of Alice
Ghostly's birth is getting more play in the Connec-ticut papers].
[and I agree that the stanley cup's ass could kick the
world cup's ass's ass]
Alice Ghostley is still alive and can't be much more than 80 from the looks of it. I just saw her make an appearance at the gay pride parade here in Calgary. Her open convertible was just after the AIDS awareness float and just before the Gerbilling Firemen's Association. She looks to be in fighting trim and could easily kick the world cup's ass.
I didn't say Alice Ghostly was dead. I just said they
were celebrating the centenary of her birth. [matter
of fact, I hear that without makeup, she still weighs exactly the same as she did when she filmed that
famous episode of Get Smart {the one where she
gives Larabee a handjob right there in KAOS
headquarters}].
And don't you mean that she could kick the
world cup's ass's ASS?
I had my staff do a little fact checking and Ghostley is indeed 80 years old. She's in excellent shape but tires easily so I'm proposing a tag team of Alice Ghostley and my gal, the 1 and only Kaye Ballard against the World Cup's ass's ass. Now THAT will be an ass's ass kicking!....one sec...phone..........that was Eve Arden, she wants in. Can anyone say "No contest"? If FIFA accepts this mismatch I'll eat the rest of my rice pudding.
I never saw the "Laramee blow job episode" of Get Smart and I imagine it's impossible to get a hold of. If you have it I'll trade you for episode 78 where the Chief mistakes agent Hymie (the robot) for a sex doll only to have Smart accidentally press the on button in mid-coitus. Hilarity ensues.
that should've been "LARABEE"....I have a cold.
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