It's not often that I use the Blob as a public diary but the events of a couple of days ago go hand in hand with an earlier post where God's existence was proven. Whereas the 1st post dealt with the benevolent God of the new testament who so loved us that he gave unto us the banana this post deals with the angry and vengeful God of the old testament who bade us heed his counsel lest we suffer unforetold consequences.
With the world cup final just finished Phyllis and I decided to go for a 20K bike ride but lo, the skies they did cloudeth over and an approaching darkness didst cover the earth. Thrice did I protest as the distant rumblings portended no good but my assertions fell upon deaf ears, so steadfast and foolhardy was Phyllis's resolve. 10 minutes then 20 we rode as the huge, black and low-lying nimbus bore down upon us and as the first drops fell Phyllis again ignored my entreaties insiting that the whole thing would blow over in 10 minutes. God had given us ample warning and we were about to feel his awful wrath.
I was some 50 cubits ahead of my cycling partner when the skies opened, lightning struck from all directions and the wind reached gale force. Still we rode until the lord visited upon us a plague much like the one sent to the disobedient Egyptians in Moses' day: Hail. Stinging hail whipped at great speeds, unrelenting, falling thickly and without cease for more than 15 minutes. When the pain became too much to bear I decided to save myself by running off to the roadside ditch and hiding in a thicket of pine trees...the thing you're not supposed to do during such a storm. I had no choice. The rain let up a bit and Phyllis and I emerged from the trees at the same time eventually leaving our bikes and getting a lift home from a passing samaritan as the hail and rain returned to full force.
We both were punished but it was the stubborn Phyllis who suffered more as the hail induced dozens of welts that covered much of her body and have now turned to bruises. This should serve as a lesson to us all....we must observe ALL of God's commandments, even the one about not biking during a storm (the little known Commandment 8.5a). 1st the banana video and now this....my agnosticism is being challenged.....how long can I ride the fence?
1 comment:
Thanks for the advice Carl and Quirms. I can't see myself falling into that trap again. (famous last words)
BTW "Thicket: A thick growth, as of underbrush through which passage is not easily effected: a coppice: jungle"
Most of the pine trees around here would classify as "low growth" back where I come from and they DID make passage difficult so they were an excellent shield from the hail. Maybe you'd prefer the word "Tuft"? Artistic licence will remain alive here despite the constant criticism!
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