As far as I'm concerned my Facebook is my Assbook. This social networking site has become a minor blight on my existence and even though I fulfilled my New Year's resolution and cleaned up my Assbook (I mean facebook) profile page the mess keeps proliferating and people (perhaps well meaning) whom I don't even know keep inviting me to be their friend.
To be charitable these sites facilitate communication with friends, help perpetuate the Girls Gone Wild phenomenon, and provide an easy way to stalk former lovers without ever having to leave your living room, get in your car, circle their house a few times before getting up the nerve to check their mail, go through their recycling box etc. (if that's your thing). That's it for the upside, after that it's all a downward spiral of useless, pathetic forced whimsy and mindless "applications" or "apps": those bizarre add-ons that are forced upon us by people who couldn't be more desperate for manufactured fun.
Remember Tamagotchis, Pet Rocks, Mood Rings, Testicle Clamps and a host of other short lived fads? Well in a year or two we'll be looking back at Facebook and My Space (which I believe is some sort of site for people to advertise the crappy bands they're in) with bewildered nostalgia....."Remember those stupid snowball fight apps or the cyber gardens?? Yeah...and giving people gifts that were just little pictures or biting them to make them into a zombie?? My Lord what were we thinking??!!"
I'm thinking of starting a Facebook Sucks club just to see if it's accepted by this supposed bastion of true democracy. I'm tired of being made to feel like a schmuck if I don't accept the friendship request of somebody I barely know. I'm tired of relenting and then having these minor acquaintances inflict their YouTube choices and ironic top 10 lists upon me as the clutter and pollution of unfunny cyber jokes and cute cat videos turns my profile page into a larger quagmire of mindlessness than it already is. I'm so tired in fact that earlier today I excised one of these non-friends from my list and I'm prepared to suffer the consequences. Already people are looking at me with disdain...first at the mall and then at Tim Horton's. They know!!
Now I feel like shit....maybe I'll invite her back, but those cute videos...and the neediness!! Aww, what the hell, welcome back Claudette!!
4 comments:
Hi, Blobbie!! Nice to hear you again. However, I'm a little concerned about your plight involving Facebook. I think the problem is that you're just too doggone friendly to people in general. Keep people basically afraid of you and they keep away in droves! Take me for example. Nobody has badgered me to be their friend in ages and frankly I couldn't be happier! Take it from me, the tricks are sullen stares and the silent treatment. Nobody will ever bug you again!!
;o(
Mama C
Does Abraham suffer the same fate on Facebook? Or am I one of the lucky few that's been with him in person when his tummy's been off.......
Hope you and all your brood are doing well !!
PS: Your approach on Facebook also works well while commuting on the GO train in Toronto....keeps me from getting sick during the flu season.....
Eisbär= Fucking cute bear!
Believe it or not, Knut is a big hit down in the pit. Maybe it's cuz there are so many Germans down here.
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