As mentioned a couple of days ago, Dixxx (a habitual contributor) finally got married to the radiant Tesssa (his habitual cohabitator). The very nature of a blob-type object is it's ability to shape shift with ease and as such The Blob today becomes something like the social page of your local newspaper.
Despite the gray, cold October day the mood inside the chapel was festive and warm. Good taste and simplicity were the order of the day with Dixxx providing the latter leaving the good taste to be taken care of by others.
The Unitarian ceremony was both moving and inclusive of all faiths. A Torah hung on the wall artfully encased in glass and a pentagram was displayed handsomely not far from the alter. The handful of children in attendance were well behaved but I did detect a few muffled cries during the bloodletting of the goat (a time honoured Bantu tradition). Music was provided by an outstanding brass quintet who hit the only sour note of the entire day by failing to include a euphonium in any of their arrangements. This is not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things but when one considers that it was Dixxx's euph sound that first attracted Tesssa to him, as she puts it: "Like a turkey vulture to a rotting marmot in August!" well...let's just say it would have been appropriate.
The reception, held in a refurbished old theater, was the perfect blend of good speechifying, delicious food and drink, and hot babes doing the Macarena. It also afforded me the opportunity to continue researching my next book; Short Like Me. In the grand tradition of John Howard Griffin (Black Like Me) and Tyra Banks; http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=1280787 I managed, through a series of easily reversable surgical procedures, hormone treatments, and several well placed mirrors to appear to be well below 5 feet tall despite my usually robust 5'9".
On this particular occasion I set my sights on a reasonable cross section of the female population with the unwitting participants running the gamut from blonde to brunette, 21 to 46, and 
coming from different socio-cultural and geographic backrounds. On this special evening and despite my diminutive stature it's readily apparent from even a quick look at the picture that I could have scored with any of them. Only my high standards of journalistic integrity kept me from following through. Sometimes ethical professionalism can be such a buzz kill!! At any rate the wedding was fabulous, the research gruelling yet rewarding and the book should be out in time to stuff those Chrismukkah stockings/support hose ("Oy...again with the phlebitis!!")
coming from different socio-cultural and geographic backrounds. On this special evening and despite my diminutive stature it's readily apparent from even a quick look at the picture that I could have scored with any of them. Only my high standards of journalistic integrity kept me from following through. Sometimes ethical professionalism can be such a buzz kill!! At any rate the wedding was fabulous, the research gruelling yet rewarding and the book should be out in time to stuff those Chrismukkah stockings/support hose ("Oy...again with the phlebitis!!")p.s. Dixxx the wedding is over, you finally got to do it with Tesssa, now get back here dammit!!!
7 comments:
Dear Blob,
I would like to start by thanking the minions of blob-o-philes who attended my wedding ceremony, and especially Bob himself for providing such good advice for how to handle my first night of marital congregation with my new wife. Even though having Bob in the honeymoon suite was uncomfortable for us at first, his guidance proved to be a welcome relief to both of us.
In response to your comments regarding the lack of Euphonium, you should note that a certain Mike Wilson was originally booked to play “Too Fat Polka” as the first dance. He, however, acquiesced to fiscally superior offers that magical evening, thus leaving us with the old standard “It Had to be You” as recorded by Harry Connick Jr. and his euphoniumless band.
As to your variety page review of the evening, I should say that you could give Kaptanis a run for his money any day of the week.
Yours in marital bliss.
Dixxx
ps
Scoring with chicks taller than you is awesome, like summiting Everest. Trust me, I know.
If you all must know my advice to Dixxx (besides the obvious reading of Blob posts)can basically be summed up as "Let the copious amounts of food and booze work their way through your system and go at it like wildcats the following morning" followed by "Don't mind me, I'll be over there in the corner doing a crossword and shouting an occasional word or two of encouragement."
Too bad about the euphoniumlessness. The lure of money is powerful but long after it's spent the rest of us will still be cherishing the memories that alas, poor Mikexxster will never know.
p.s. and much like summiting Everest I imagine one would get used to the nosebleeds and nausea.
Dear Blob,
Is it normal to have super heroes, or caped avengers attend weddings?
www.richmondcraftmafia.com/spring.htm
Dear Clark Kent,
A pretty boy like you needn't think too hard on questions like that. In fact, a pretty boy like you needn't think at all! So, just take off your clothes and show us your blue and red bits. I'll be in the back with my video camera.
Dear Clark,
Feel free to disregard the saucy come on from that Maria woman (if not I can get you her phone number!!)
In response to your question;Yes, it's completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of. My wedding was performed at a reform synagogue which is the Jewish equivalent of a Unitarian church...no rules, open to all, including the caped and masked. We had at least one superhero if I recall correctly...Spiderman (actually it was my dad's accountant Milton Speiderman but still...we felt protected.)
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