What Does Mayday Mean to You?

It's May 1st and traditionally workers across the globe gather in large throngs with placards, yelling about this or that and are featured for about 5 seconds on the evening news.

For all us working stiffs, full or part time (semi-stiff?) , it's a day to reflect back on the fiscal year that was. Our receipts have been sorted, tax forms mailed in and a lazy, hazy summer waits just around the corner.

Things seem to be OK and yet who are these angry people marching everywhere. Based purely on ill informed conjecture I'd say that 70% are dyed-in-the-wool syndicalists, union organizers and the like. The rest are a scruffy coalition of nostalgic commies, anarchists, pacifists (any excuse for a nice walk), and maybe even a handful of misguided survivalists.

Both the survivalists and the anarchists hate big government and mega corporations. The survivalists come from way to the right and the anarchists from way to the left and differ mainly in that the former are more open about blaming everything on the Jews.

Another seasonal tradition that I'm not clear about is the Maypole. I know what one looks like, I think that comely maidens grab a ribbon and dance around, and it may have originated as a pagan fertility rite (God knows why they'd have used a pole for that!!). Today the ceremony is practiced year round by comely maidens in strip clubs. Honestly, I don't understand the stripper pole either. It's not erotic and if I wanted to see naked gymnastics I'd just go to my local grocery ....(new management, new policy, 73% increase in sales).

Anyways, maybe people are angry because of the global food shortage, rising commodity prices (especially oil), global warming, record foreclosure rates as the middle class gets compressed downwards etcetera, etcetera. All this as the oil companies rake in record profits; the fat cats getting fatter as the thin cats get thinner.

Again, this is all guesswork. There's such comfort in not knowing for sure. Maybe I'll watch some TV now.....