The Weak in Review

Once again I leave for a week (internet problems and procrastination beyond my control) and all hell breaks loose. It's more than likely that there's absolutely no correlation but there remains, nevertheless, a small chance that my absence was the root cause of much that went wrong internationally over the past few days.

I call this the directed chaos theory. Unlike the original chaos theory that famously postulated that a butterfly flapping its wings in China could lead to a tornado in Iowa my theory holds that me, neglecting my blog, can cause a devastating flood in Myanmar, political missteps by Hilary Clinton, corruption in the Israeli government, and a butterfly in China to flap its wings.

Israeli prime minister Ehud Olmert is accused of taking a bribe from some American Jewish businessman and now I'm supposed to convince everyone that there's no Zionist banking conspiracy (geez!!). There's no conspiracy people....we just control global mass media and that's it!!! and most of New York.

Hilary vows to fight her losing battle till the bitter end as the infighting democrats invent yet another way to lose a "sure-win" election. (and I usually enjoy the smell of female desperation)

Myanmar's paranoid and isolated military rulers (Heartless is the lonely Junta) deprive millions of aid because of fear of foreigners (and frankly, who can blame them, I mean really?? The country is already massively overpopulated and if losing a few thousand expendable souls means keeping out dozens of bearded, besandal-ed do gooders then I say " go for it!")

I know, I know....all this news stuff is boring. I think Fox News may have found the answer. Before I hit the sack check out some of these anchor babes; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVUDQNMzL4w&feature=related and if that's not enough watch these Germans playing charades http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVUDQNMzL4w&feature=related. Gute nacht.