Espionage Elle said...
Dear Blob,It's been 2 days since my last bagel, however in that time I've developed a serious marshmallow and licorice addiction. Unfortunately, I'm genetically predisposed to ingrown toenails. Given that I would rather not succumb to this unsightly affliction, which dietary course of action do you suggest I take?Big FanXXXX

Wow, great question Elle. Let me apologize for being compelled to post your pic. I know that many of my readers, being of a similar mindset, would appreciate the artistry. Since I can tell who's in the photo ( I never forget a face) I figure you'll appreciate the exposure. I'll say no more on the subject cuz I may get in trouble with the boss. Now....back to your dilemma.

The obvious solution is to buy more bagels but being in Edmonton this is of course impossible.You must stop eating marshmallows immediately because their high gelatin content (see colloidal proteins) is obviously spurring uncontrolled toenail growth. The licorice is a non-issue and may actually be beneficial as an intestinal calmative and aphrodisiac. As you know the only true bagel comes from Montreal and if you can hang in there I'll be out your way for the entire month of July.....we can arrange a re-stocking of your larder. Good luck and keep those questions coming.