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Friday, June 13, 2008

Ute 'R' Us

Ute 'R' Us is what I'd call my base of operation if I were a gynecologist, but I'm not, so someone else can have the name. I've been thinking about this because in a little more than a week my girlfriend will be going under the knife for some relatively minor surgery on her woman parts.

As a sensitive partner I'll be making the trip out west to be by her side......not during the operation or painful convalescence but three weeks later when she is all better and the area in question could use some intensive conditioning and physiotherapy.

As always, surgery, (including surgery "down there") presents certain risks but also certain opportunities. Now let me just say at the outset that my GF has excellent muscle tone, you don't win Kegel Queen at the Millarville County Fair 6 years running without it!! Still though, with a stitch here and a stitch there a skilled surgeon can work wonders and with that in mind I mailed off a crisp new 20 dollar bill to her Ob-gyn, Dr. Ersek, with a little note that said simply: "Surprise me!!"

As a general primer on the subject you may want to take a look at this educational clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c39sirXOad4

and then revisit this must see video for further insight: http://oxygen.feedroom.com/?fr_chl=1e2039ffe65a8155cf73b19ad333d4a7b2457076

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Eeeeeyyyooo, Blobber! Too much information!! It's just that sort of ickiness that made me leave my medical practice!!
In my NEW profession as an ACTOR (!!!!!), however, I will admit that your latest post would most certainly have given me new insight into "Frightened Inmate #2, my most successful role to date!! I just know, with THAT information at hand, I would REALLY have hit that one out of the park!!!
HA! HA! JUST KIDDING, Blob!! I love the female form (!!!!); just ask my lovely wife (to whom I make sweet, sweet love all the day long!!! Wow!! It's wonderful!!!)!!! I'm only trying to jump-start the suddenly moribund comment section of your fine Blob!! What's wrong with all your slug-a-bed, neer-do-well correspondents?? Maria Callous! Mama Party Bear! Paradisegirl! Troy Huber! Torontomave! I know where you all live! Don't make me come over there to instill some much-needed DISCIPLINE!!! Don't make me do it!!! I don't want to, but I will, if I have to!!! All for the sake of that most wonderful organ,The Blob (you're welcome, Blobele!!)!!!!

Maria Callous said...

I bet he'd discipline your organ anytime, Blobby. But we don't need to hear about it. Well, maybe Troy does.

Maria Callous said...

Btw, Blob, sick article! And by sick, of course, I mean both awesome AND disgusting! There are few men who can pack such a punch into so tiny a space. Colour me awe-full.

slapper58 said...

Geez Tobias...I'm moved. You are a true friend of The Blob and I'm glad that you,conflicted though you are, have got my back (glad, yet a tad wary).
Thanks also to you Maria C. for the kind words, and as far as "packing such a punch into a tiny space" I'm way too humble to comment, but my girlfriend would certainly agree with you.
(eat your heart out Tobias!!!!!!)
BTW, don't hold your breath waiting for Troy Huber to comment. He's been hunkered down in his basement with his PlayStation 3 and the latest edition of Grand Theft Auto, eats only for sustenance and no longer needs weather.