Greetings to all. Nan here with my very first post and I couldn't be more excited and more beholden to the good people at "Better Homes and Gardens" for choosing me to replace Blob while he's in rehab. You may have noticed some slight changes to the title area....just sprucing things up a bit with the famous Wilkinson touch (more to come as I familiarize myself with the computer...thanks to my son Stephan for his patient tutoring. An extra brownie in your lunch son!!)
Where to begin? I suppose labor day is as good a place as any and the holiday weekend w
as quite the celebration! We had the folks (Gramps and Sylvia) over and had our traditional backyard picnic BBQ with my famous One Bean Salad (I find mixing bean types to be extravagant) and enough chicken wings to fly us all to Kansas!! Jim was on BBQ detail as usual and managed to outdo himself once again! He is so deft with a spatula and tongs...it truly is something to see and was one of the reasons I was first attracted to him at the Mt. Pleasant High homecoming rally all those years ago.
as quite the celebration! We had the folks (Gramps and Sylvia) over and had our traditional backyard picnic BBQ with my famous One Bean Salad (I find mixing bean types to be extravagant) and enough chicken wings to fly us all to Kansas!! Jim was on BBQ detail as usual and managed to outdo himself once again! He is so deft with a spatula and tongs...it truly is something to see and was one of the reasons I was first attracted to him at the Mt. Pleasant High homecoming rally all those years ago.Anyways, enough about me. September is upon us and so is a new school year. Stephan will be a senior at Mt. Pleasant and will be managing the Saints...the hip pointer is still bothering him so he won't be suiting up. It's quite a shame since he so loves football but at least he'll still be involved with the team.
Pam will be starting her 2nd year of circus school and her hip pointer is all but a thing of the past!!
On a m
ore serious note the editors at The Blob had warned about certain contributors and their vulgarity. It's always been my philosophy that this sort of behavior is best disregarded...you wouldn't throw away a whole meatloaf just because a fly landed on it now would you?? People such as Maria Callous (Pam says she must be a slut) and the very strange Bonemikester (clearly under the influence of some unsavory beverage or another, probably a simpleton easily swayed towards viceful ways...I'll pray for them both) won't stop me from using this forum to spread good cheer and good recipes. Still though I must try to maintain a semblance of the tone that Blob established to keep his readers happy so here's a little off colored joke to close things out:
ore serious note the editors at The Blob had warned about certain contributors and their vulgarity. It's always been my philosophy that this sort of behavior is best disregarded...you wouldn't throw away a whole meatloaf just because a fly landed on it now would you?? People such as Maria Callous (Pam says she must be a slut) and the very strange Bonemikester (clearly under the influence of some unsavory beverage or another, probably a simpleton easily swayed towards viceful ways...I'll pray for them both) won't stop me from using this forum to spread good cheer and good recipes. Still though I must try to maintain a semblance of the tone that Blob established to keep his readers happy so here's a little off colored joke to close things out:Incompatability is the secret to a good marriage...as long as he has income and she is "pat"-able!!
Have a great day!!
7 comments:
Better keep a sharp eye on that handsome husband of yours, Nan! Any man with a deft hand with a spatula is always going to catch the eye of the ladies of the bridge club set! Nothing like the flip of a burger to turn up the heat a little, as it were!
Anyway, as much as I enjoyed the Blob, I think the new era might be just what we need around here: a little good clean fun. (eh, Maria? I'm sure you got a taste for that this weekend in our fair (clean) capital!)
Hello, Nan!! Welcome!! As a man's man myself, I must say that it's wonderful to have a woman's point of view here at the Blob!! Finally!!! Normally, we're awash in testosterone (we macho-men are all for that!!! HA! HA!); but, now and then, something deep inside me cries out for a little sweetness, a little, shall we say, femininity!!!!
But enough about boring old me!! On to the topic at hand!!!!!
I have a query for you!!!
I love making soufflees........but here's the curious thing......whenever I make one for my beautiful, sexy wife, Lindsey (how she excites me sexually!! You wouldn't believe it!!! Yes!!! All the day long, if you understand me!!! How I love her!!!), it falls flatter than a pancake at the "critical moment", if you catch my drift!!!!! But the real mystery is that, when I cook for my pals from the Hot Cops, or the Waylan Smithers Dancers, those darned soufflees literally rise to the ceiling (0 to 60 in record time, if you don't mind me mixing metaphors!!!)!!!!
Nan!!! What am I doing wrong???? Truth to tell, my marriage depends on this.....my wife just loves a well-made soufflee!! Help me, Nan!! Your obviously rock-solid union with Jim (why, I could almost go for him myself, he's so handsome!!! Ha! Ha! Just kidding!!!) gives me hope!!! Tobias
Like I said, Nan, keep a sharp eye on that man of yours!
Gosh-darn-it, Nan! I'm pleased as punch (the non-alcoholic variety, of course!) about your success here on the Blob! I had my doubts (you know how I feel about women working outside the home!), but the reaction around the watercooler here at the station has been so darned positive!! The fellahs all think that you're very "pat-able" indeed! Heh! Heh!( I'm sorry if my language is a little "salty"; but it's all your fault, with that racy joke, you frisky lady!! You're so naughty!!!) it's a good thing Jimmy Carter doesn't work here!! Heh! Heh!
Jeepers!! Look at the time!! I'm on the air in two minutes.....!!
Something tells me that a certain pretty little lady is goin' to get an extra helpin' of love the last Saturday night of the month!!! I'm bustin' my buttons, sweetheart!!
Thank you Mama C for the kind words regarding my husband Jim. As for the other commentary, well, let's just say that the things I'd heard about the internet are true!! Imagine somebody impersonating my husband and making such rude insinuations at that!! What Jim and I do every second Wednesday is nobody's business and not something I will discuss any further. I trust that whomever wrote such slander will be smitten down by the Lord with some plague or another (I prayed for boils and failing that; locusts)
Have a great day :0)
Nan
Dear Mrs. Wilkinson,
After hearing all the wonderfully flattering things people (yourself included) have been saying about your talk-show host husband, I just had to find out myself just what all the fuss was about! So, being the slut that I am (though when we tallied up at the last meeting, your daughter's total was much more impressive than mine), I set out to make Mr. Nan one of my (many!) conquests. Needless to say, he gave in almost instantly--although I'm not sure why he insisted on meeting me on a wednesday--and he has been hounding me for follow-ups ever since. But I'm so busy screwing everything that moves (convention is next weekend! Woot! Party!) that I could barely fit him in my schedule! Why, if I hadn't had that cancellation for a lunch date last week, I wouldn't have been able to meet him until this weekend! What luck! At any rate, I'm here to correct something that perhaps a little dislexia (or badminton arm!) forced you to write in this article. Jim is not actually deft with a spatula, but rather as daft as a spatula. And doesn't go from six to midnight as easily as Tobias makes it sound. No wonder you can only do it twice a month, it takes that long for-- oops, the phone is ringing. Gotta get back to work!
Oh, and btw, your son's hip pointer may be back.
Love and kisses,
Maria F-ing Callous
Maria,
I don't know you from a hole in the wall but somehow I just bet that I know your type. You seem to use the same tactics as that strange Bonemikester fellow, what with all the rude stories that you make up and I for one want no part of it. Is this how you get your jollies??
Things are very busy here around the Wilkinson household with the back to school rush and I haven't had a second to spare as far as writing for The Blob goes. Your awful, slutty, trashmouth (I'd say more but it wouldn't be Christian) made me take a few moments to respond..... I hope you're happy!!
BTW my daughter Pam is a wonderful girl and practises abstinence which is a word that is probably not even in your vocabulary!!
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