Blobele, Blobbie, Blobster....call him what you will, but today as we go to press the founder of The Blob is a sick man. We've decided on a policy of full disclosure so as Blobbie puts it "this (hits,his sit, its, tis, shit) doesn't happen to anyone else (seel, eels, eel, lee, lees, sel, ess, els,)."
Let's go back about 30 some odd years to a time when Blob would spend hours every day in close fought Boggle battles with his brother Barry. Days turned to months, school work and social skills suffered as he'd even practice alone when his brother was off becoming a doctor.
You see, Blob was a boggle word game addict and it was only a cold turkey situation brought about by 2 years away at school in the States that saved him. For more than three decades he's avoided the game and has lived a fulfilling and productive life but fast forward to the present and things have changed for the worse.
A well meaning friend and Blob contributor; Mama "the enabler" C, invited him to play a game called Scramble on Facebook. Little did he know that this was their version of Boggle. This explains the lack of posts of late as his addiction returned immediately and with an unexpected ferocity.
Earlier his morning after a family intervention he was carted off to a treatment center babbling an incoherent stream of anagrams. When he is fit to return only time will tell but fortunately our "Write A Blob Post" contest in last month's Better Homes and Gardens has found a winner and we've talked her into taking over for a while. The tone and content may be different than what blobophiles are used to but a little c
hange never hurt anyone. Let us now present to you our contest winner from Wilmington, Delaware...Mrs. Nan Wilkinson!!
hange never hurt anyone. Let us now present to you our contest winner from Wilmington, Delaware...Mrs. Nan Wilkinson!!The latest from Nan is that she'll be posting as soon as the cakes are done for the bake sale (rotarians first!!) and then she has a bit of scrapbooking to finish up. We're all looking forward to it Nan!!
14 comments:
Dear Nan Wilkinson......nothing personal, but why don't you fuck off and die?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Hey Bloggleshit! What's wrong with your regular contributors?? What are we; chopped liver????????
What do we know about this Nan Wilkinson (if that's her real name?????)??????? Thanks for NOTHING, Blob!!!! Have a really lousy rehabilitation!!!!!!!
A just slightly MIFFED Bonemikester
One more thought, "Bloggeleh" (most certainly not a "term of endearment"), as one of my musical heroes, Vic Vogel, has said on more than one occasion, "I'm not drunk; I'm pissed off!!!!!!!!"
If you want to make amends, I might (perhaps, if you're lucky!!!) be free for a (very) expensive breakfast, sooner rather than later!!!!!
Goodbye, Bloggie!!!!! You know how to reach me.
Dear Bonemikester,
I'm honest to G-d sad about you being miffed and all but I entered a contest and won fair and square. All you had to do was get your hands on a copy of "Better Homes and Gardens". My kids, Pam and Stephan, told me what The Blob was and it sounded like good fun so I participated and look at me now...the main Blob spokesman!!!
To answer your question, I'm sure Blob doesn't think you and the other regular contributors are chopped liver but while we're on the subject I have a wonderful recipe for liver and onion casserole that's long been a Wilkinson family favorite. Pam and Stephan tell me that I can do all sorts of things on a blog like post recipes and tell amusing anecdotes (don't get me started, I may never stop!!! :) so I'm looking forward to this even as I hope for a speedy Blob recovery.
And remember Bonemikester:
Jealousy is a wedge that Satan drives between good people, cleaving them in twain.
I can't say I'm surprised at what the recovering Blobbele has revealed (see my last comment). Since we're playing True Confessions, I, too, have been suffering from Scramble overdoses and have even had problems sleeping as my mind replays Scramble games of the day (seal, ale, sea, lase, ales...) and I just want to cut my own head off so it will stop. (Can you relate, Blobbele???) It's really only the Scramble-related insomnia that has convinced me that I need to go cold turkey (they say it's the only way that works). The sad thing is that despite hours of practice, I will never attain the heights that Blobby has reached in his Scramble skill. In fact, a close source has revealed to me that the only round I won against Blobby was a result of an important phone call (thanks, Phyllis!!) that he had to take in the middle of the game. If that doesn't convince me I have no future in the Scramble rooms, nothing will. (Sorry if my admiration continues to enable your addiction, Blobbele!)
But, maybe I'll try just one more time...
Speaking of rehab, did you guys hear about this one? One of my favourite brooding, scruffy, and monotone-voiced actors--David Duchovny--has checked himself into rehab for.. get this... a sex addiction! As Van says, my dreams were not in vain after all, I would totally have had a chance with him! However, now that he's gone to rehab, there's no way he'd fuck me. Damnitall!
In the meantime, I'm away in our nation's capital (of fun!) meeting, for the first time, my current boyfriend's parents.
Yeah. I miss Montreal.
Miss Callous,
Ixnay on the arentspay, the walls are listening!
BTW, where are those grandchildren? We have nothing to do around here. A few rugrats would help pass the lonely hours!
Yikes, sex addiction, eh? If we had to be addicted to something, why not that, eh, Blobbele? There we go picking something "prosaic" (pun intended) like Scramble.
Well, Blobber, I'm still not happy; but it must be said that Nan has the right attitude and knows her stuff. And clearly; she does cut a delightfully neat, womanly figure in that apron! And such a sweet, sweet smile!! She's a lovely woman! And obviously very ardent; with a deep, burning passion for her work!!
Can't we start over, Nan? Surely you can understand the anger and frustration of an intense, fervent, hot-blooded, yet sensitive and caring long-time contributor to the Blob being passed over? If only we could meet; you'd see very quickly that, as a team, we could do wonderful things together!!! Wonderful things!!! Together!!!
I know! Why don't we meet and discuss it?
Why don't I come by early some afternoon when the kids are at school, and your husband is at work........(something tells me that his name is Ward and that he works for an Insurance company; am I right, Nan? And that you're (( just a little?)) discontented, to a certain degree?? Maybe just a little bit lonely?? Isn't that why you pour your very heart and soul into your work, Nan???).
Why not, say, 1:00PM or so; just to give ourselves all the time we need to get to know each other as we should!! For the good of the Blob!!! What do you say, Nan???
I just know that we can solve our differences; I also know that by working together, we can make the Blob even better (I'm just like you, Nan!! I am a fervid, passionate man when I believe strongly in something!! And I believe strongly in you, Nan!!! Strongly!!!) and make ol' Blobbie proud when he returns!!
Well, Nan, what do you say? What time should I come by (I suggest that we should give ourselves at least three hours!!)? I know that you and I (WE, Nan!!! WE!!!) could really make those sparks fly!!!!!! Nan!!! You won't be sorry!!!
NAN!!! FOR THE GOOD OF THE BLOB!!! LET'S DO IT!!!!!
Wow!!!.... Nan!!!...... Thanks for the lickity-split (know what I'm sayin'???) response!!!....... Yes!!...I know!!!.....I want to "hook up" asap too!!!...... I know!!!..... I know!!!!.... Ha! Ha!..... Yeah!!! Let's do it!!!.....can't wait!!!!!..... What's Mr. Wilkinson doin' this weekend.......?? yeah, I know, right?.....G-d; he's such a dumb-ass!!!
......I wrote "for the good of the Blob" as a joke!!!! .......The morons don't get it!!! .....Yeah, I know, but, you know, if that's what they want to hear, OK; whatever........!!!
........ Ha! Ha!.... You're right!! Yeah, well, he won't be back for a while, from what I'm hearin'!!!...... He's totally f--ked up!! Can't tell a vowel from a consenant (or however they spell it;.... G-d! That would KILL any one of those cretins!!)!!! Boo Hoo Hoo!!! Big Loss, right?!?!?!?!?!?
........I know!!....... I know!!!..... Yikes!!!!....... Can you believe it????? Last I heard, they were all at Church!!!....... What a bunch of idiots!!!!!!...... No s--t!!....... Yeah, you're right.......
......you're absolutely right!!!...... Ha! Ha!.... G-d!!! They're such a bunch of losers!!!!! .......what???.....OK,......I'll show you my meatloaf recipe (bake until firm, right?????? Ha! Ha!) if you'll show me yours (don't forget, though,.... moisture IS important!!).........Ha!! Ha!! Are you pickin' up what I'm puttin' down????..... I thought so!!!..... You're so f--kin' hot, Nan!!!!,....what?????...........
......Yup!!...... He said, "a banger in the mouth"!!!! Know what I'm sayin'??? I thought you would!! Yup!! You're right!!!....... Can't wait!!!!! .......Yup!!!! Me too!!!........
Anyhoooo, Nan,......., I'll be at the Airport (welcome to YUL, Mommy Wilkinson!!!) to meet you...... we'll take it from there (all the way to Heaven "on wings of gossamer"*, baby!!!)!!! And I ain't just whistlin' "Doxie"!!!!!! Yup!..... See you soon........yup!!..... ol' Blobbie knows how to pick 'em, right, babe??....bye, sweetie!!
*that Shakespeare knew his s-t, man!!!!!
Bonemikester,
I'm sorry to disappoint you but whatever are you rambling on about?
Take a page out of Blobbie's self help book. Perhaps a little visit to your local rehab center would do you a world of good!!
By the way...my husband's name is Jim Wilkinson and he's a local talk radio host. He hasn't worked in insurance for years!!
I will agree with you on one thing though..."moist but firm" is the secret to a good meatloaf. I guess you're not all bad!
Richtig, sie wollen.
Hey, Sweetie! I hope you made it home safe and sound!! I hope you had as great a time as I did (you seemed to, what with the eyeball rolling and the squealing and the shouting and all!!!)!! And I thought you were only skilled in the kitchen!!! My bad!!! OY (pace, Blobeleh!!)!!! Ol' Jim is really missing quite the party!!! But if he can't get it in gear, that's his problem, right, babe??? Maybe he should check the expiry date on the yeast package!! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Obviously, on the Blob, though, it's all business.......(let's hope ol' loser Blobber NEVER comes back!!!!!!)...I think for my first post on the New Blob, I'll ask about soufflees that collapse at the critical moment......won't that be a hoot??? Jimbo and those other Blobophile wankers'll never get it!!! What a bunch of maroons!!!!!
Anyways, can't wait to "shake and bake" wi.....oh, sorry, babe!! I got another call.....gotta go...we'll talk real soon!!! Bye!!!
Somebody needs some action!
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