Super Hero Fever (yes, we need another hero)

It's just about summer and once again Hollywood is trotting out the super hero themed blockbusters. We've already had Ironman and The Hulk and there will certainly be others coming down the chute.
The film trailer above is from a movie I saw on TV as a child. I don't remember it much except that the Mexican super hero, Santo, was called upon to battle vampire women who were led by a mysterious immortal with the worst case of eczema ever!!
I saw another Santo film earlier this year while working in Colombia and there, in my hotel room, I had a revelation and at once understood the whole super hero phenomenon. (Santo=Saint...hello-ooo!!)
Think about it...worldwide we spend billions of dollars a year on these fictional characters and it's basically the same story being told over and over again. Good vs. evil, the world in peril or just plain folk victimized by the greedy and treacherous saved in the end by a mysterious being, at once of this world yet possessing supernatural powers, knowable and familiar yet unknowable all the same. Did somebody say Jesus?? (the old testament God was too much of a vindictive asshole, sort of a bizarro Jesus, so I can't include him in this analogy.)
It's hardwired in us, this need for justice in the face of a frequently oppressive and grossly unfair existence. Whether at places of worship or in cinemas, in front of a television or a comic book, we seek to have our wrongs redressed even if it's some kind of vicarious catharsis. The fact that we are willing to shell out so much money got me to thinkin'....maybe I can cash in on this too, come up with my own popular super hero and retire in style!!


Here's the back story for volume#1:


Craig Garner's parent's were killed by terrorists on 9-11. He's presently an Ivy League grad student assisting his physics professor, the eccentric but brilliant Dr. Ladislaw Bronislavski, on a top secret pentagon project. After a jargon laden monologue detailing the experiment (treating mice with irradiated mega-hormones and a new drug that causes cells to vibrate at a frequency invisible to the human eye.) Bronislavski exits the lab leaving young Craig to close up. He ends up accidentally falling into a vat of this toxic soup and dies, a victim of drowning and radiation poisoning. He is buried soon after but the chemicals begin to take their effect...his whole body was affected inside and out except for a small area between his buttocks (which were clenched at the time of the fall) that was never touched by the liquid, indeed, in his comatose state the chemicals never worked their way entirely through his digestive tract. He is now alive, larger, stronger, and completely invisible save for his anus!!

You get the picture....bye bye Craig Garner, hello Anus Boy!!!! (OK , OK...so this is my 1st attempt. I think I got the formula right but the central character may need a litle retooling).


On a related topic, I posted a cleavgey picture of the young soprano Maria Callous a couple of days back and within 48 hours my daily readership more than doubled!! (I kid you not) It's sort of disheartening to think that the whole, massive internet industrial complex is being driven by pathetic men world wide, trolling for tits (guilty as charged). With that in mind this final super hero pic is sure to keep my new enlarged fan base from shrinking back to it's pre-Maria size.