As the Hollywood writer's strike drags into its fourth interminable month many observers are beginning to see evidence of societal impact far beyond the expected decline in viewership and increased suicide rate. Families are talking again (mostly about their favorite episodes), there's a heightened interest in the political process (ed. note: not necesarrily related to the strike), and many species of tree frog are mysteriously dying off (possibly strike related).
Here at The Blob the withdrawal effects have been minimized by looking at the strike as an opportunity to get my foot in the door as a TV programmer. The American networks have been looking for product north of the border and while they have yet to find any that doesn't mean we should stop trying.
In the meantime we are being flooded with an endless stream of writer-free reality shows, one more preposterous than the next:
- "The Rack" a quiz show using question and answer techniques borrowed from the Spanish Inquisition,
- "Super Nanny meets The Osbournes (vs. Dr. Phil)" tempers flare as super nanny brings a semblance of order to the Osbourne household all the while fending off Dr. Phil as he attempts to exploit the situation for his own personal gain,
- "So You Think You Can Define Variegated" contestants attempt to define the word variegated.
- And so on and so forth.
My idea, pitched recently, is a variation on the old Battle of the Network Stars from way back in the 70's where "B listers" teamed up and competed in a mini-olympics each week. I still remember Mr. Kotter Gabe Kaplan beating a stunned and humiliated Robert Conrad of The Wild Wild West in a 100 yard dash. The sight of a paunchy, mustachioed Jew trouncing the rock hard, marine-like Conrad gave me the strength to move on with my life and......HOLY CRAP...I found it on YouTube!!!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqWU9huMMco but I digress.
Anyways here's my idea....I may be blobbing from the West Coast any day now!!
7 comments:
Writer's strike? Who gives a rat's ass?? Don't get me wrong, Blobbie, I understand that anyone who is suddenly without a paycheck has major problems to deal with. Having said that, is the world really any poorer because the stupifyingly moronic drivel one sees on "TV" is a little less "topical" than usual??? It seems to me that most "TV" watchers could care less what is actually "on", as long as there's something (anything!) moving on the screen to attract and (somehow) keep their attention (how else to explain Jim Belushi?????). Watching most television shows is like going to a restaurant and being served the most vile, the most disgusting, worst smelling pig-slop imaginable, and then saying, as you're going out the door, "Thanks a million!!! See ya tomorrow!!" With a very few exceptions - "TV" is where brains go to die!!! Blob!!! (I'll say it one more time!!!) Just say NO!!! Why would you want anything to do with a medium that kills more brain-cells than alcohol and hard drugs combined??? Surely it's not the money - OR IS IT?????? Blobele (!!!!!!!!) SAY IT AIN'T SO!!!!!!!!! Maybe it's time to start reading books, or perhaps take up a musical instrument; say, the trombone, or the euphonium!!!!!! I'm sure that then you would be happy!!!!!! Blobber!!! It's time (finally!!!) to break the ugly cycle once and for all!!!!! BLOBBIE!!! It's time to LIVE!!!!!
Steve Martin once said that the Battle of the Network
Stars should be fought with real guns.
Thanks Troy. Steve Martin certainly has the right idea but there's something to be said for letting the celebrities fade into obscurity only to die years later after a lengthy battle with alcohol and/or prescription drugs.
As for my (very)concerned friend (Mikexxster)and his question about who gives a rat's ass well I do...I give an entire rat as a matter of fact!!
I'll tell you what I don't give a rat's ass about though...what most TV watchers watch. I hear what you're saying about Jim Belushi but he is easily explained away by nepotism and a certain nostalgia for his brother John. Sort of like going out with the dowdy sister of this really hot babe you like because a potential glimpse of her walking around in just a towel is better than nothing.
For a man as well read as yourself with a brain relatively unsullied by TV, your restaurant analogy was disappointing. An habitual "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" viewer could have done better.
I go to the same restaurant and manage to pick out a couple of plump and delicious raisins from an otherwise insipid rice pudding or simply cross the street where some of the dishes are positively inspired!! Failing that I always reserve the right to eat in and cook up something fabulous forgoing the restaurant altogether.
TV is a very powerful and pervasive medium and I agree that it spews out a lot of crap but there are gems hidden in the slag heap and I enjoy mucking about and finding them.
Fungi for thought:
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/09/30/1064819933075.html
Dear Blob,
I feel sad, but I have to say that once again you are wrong wrong wrong!
Despite Mikexxxster's overuse of the exclamation point, (must lead to a sore wrist...hey wait a minute!)
TV is the land of crap. When I had cable, there was a game with the flicker I used to play: looking a the screen, with remote in hand I kept my finger on the button and just kept going thru the cycle, crap, crap, crap...
Give up Blobeleh. You don't have a leg to stand on. The precious raisins you speak of (despite the questionable Islamic overtones) even if you do find them, don't outweigh the oceanload of refuse that pours forth from the video screen. TV is the single most destructive force in our society as regards ability to think and speak clearly, and relate to others properly.
Please get a copy of Gerry Mander's four arguments for the elimination of television to get a considered insider's opinion from the belly of the beast.
Despite that, Blobbie, I love your show concepts.
Dear Blobbie - please understand that I take no pleasure in writing this, but Mr. P Bear is abolutely right! Gerry Mander's book, "Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television" should be required reading for anyone contemplating the purchase of a "TV". And, even more importantly, his sister Sally is a total hottie!! (How's that for restrained use of the ol' exclamation key???????)
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