I've been known to flip flop my opinions in the past...perhaps the best example among those who know me was my contention that ketchup was actually a mustard. For years I held fast to this theory only to change a couple of months ago. From here on in I'll be thinking of ketchup as a salsa.
I've also been a staunch defender of the merits of television in the face of some very sharp criticism. The news that the trombone is about to break loose and become a popular and oft televised instrument has forced me to reconsider. First it was the Letterman show as seen in the clip which featured a gaggle* of the low brassters trying in vain to be cool and now news that ABC has optioned a new Scott Baio (of Joanie Loves Chachi fame) pilot to premier this fall. According to ther press release "Baio will be playing a widowed orchestral trombonist living in New York with 4 teenage daughters who are trying to form a girl band. Things get complicated when his estranged father (John Lithgow) shows up at the door needing a place to stay and starts dropping inadvertant clues about possible cross dressing
tendencies.The girls think their Dad is a classical music snob, he thinks their pop music is for the birds and Grandpa..well he just likes wearing a bra and panties.It all makes for a wacky and often irreverent laugh riot!"
With this news I hereby concede that TV is beyond redemption. If this medium must now stoop so low as to seek out the trombone as a source for material then perhaps it's time for me to become an avid reader or take up a hobby like knitting or self-mutilation.
From this point on I'll only be watching Lost, The Office, 30 Rock, reruns of Seinfeld, The Simpsons, and Arrested Development, Documentaries, Concert footage, science and nature shows, sporting events, the odd movie, and the news and that's a promise!!
*There is no specific word for a group of trombonists so in a pinch I used gaggle. I also considered "a swill, a gutfull, a pompousness (which was my favorite of the 3)". If anyone out there has a better idea just let me know. (note to Mikexxster: pride has already been taken)
9 comments:
Heh,
Don't knock Bonerama! I saw them live at the Beaches jazz festival this past summer and they were great (of course, it was a free concert).
I kind of took to the blond guy (gee, I wonder why that is?).
I think they do a great service to elevate low(ly) brass through their interesting selection of cover tunes and lively arrangements. As I recall, they did play a catchy Led Zeppelin chart.
And slightly off topic but in keeping with the theme of this post, kudos to Party Bear whilst he was our house guest, for doing his best to increase the profile of not only his chosen instrument (and no, I'm not referring to his splashing about in my hot tub), but TV at the same time.
Imagine my surprise when the Star Trek theme emanated from my basement - complete with lovely phrasing and impeccably played high notes. Whoooweee that Party Bear boy can blow (once again, I'm not referring to his splashing about in my hot tub). Thank you for that PB.
One other point of clarification - the singer in the clip is not from Bonerama. He's from OK Go and although I don't recall any low brass in their music they have done an awful lot to profile treadmills in their music videos - look it up on YouTube and you'll see what I mean. Song's called "Here it Goes Again".
Party Bear - next time you're up this way, I'd love to hear you play Star Trek while on my treadmill, imitating some of the OK Go moves.
Now, THAT would go a long way to put you and your trombone brethren out in front of the percussion section.........
Cute, Blobber, cute! But it's all water off a duck's back to us!! Because you love us, and you know you love us!! No sensitive soul would mock a Jew for being "close with a dollar", but a Scot who's "tight-fisted" is fair game. Why? Because, from the (sick) point of view of our society, the Jew is (sadly), still on the outside looking in (religion! - what's not to love???), while the Scot is a respected member of that same society. We are the Scots of the musical world, and therefore, beyond criticism!! "TV" was an intellectual cess-pool long before that David Letterman clip, so don't be blaming that pathetic medium's failings on "THE KING OF INSTRUMENTS" (Hector Berlioz - admittedly, he was crazy, but none the less!!!)!!! As far as finding just the right word for a group of players of "GOD'S OWN INSTRUMENT" (God Himself((!!!)) - Admittedly, He's Crazy too, but None the Less!!!), how about (since "pride" is already taken ((damn those lions!!!))) a "dignity", or perhaps a "grandeur", or a "renown" of trombones? Slidestically yours, Bonemikester (you're welcome!!!)!!!!!
Mave,Mave,Mave,
Was I really knocking Bonerama....I think not.
Ever since grade 10 when a teacher told me in front of the whole class that I was "as subtle as a turd in a punch bowl" I've been trying to prove him wrong.
Yesterday's post was no exception which is why you may have missed the underlying and very important gist.
I enjoyed Bonerama the first time (and a bit less on each subsequent viewing) but the real issue is what this portends. If trombones are ever seen in any way as being cool then shows like Scott Baio's won't be far behind and the already overblown egos of many pro trombonists will be out of control. Do you want to live in a world like that??? Well I sure as Hell don't!!
The trombone achieved a semblance of musical primacy briefly in the 1930's followed quickly by WWII and yes, a reasonable connection can be drawn between the two.
This is one of those rare cases where my Mother's advice should be turned on its head: as regards trombones and those who play them "If you have anything good to say keep it to yourself!!"
Bonemikexxster,Bonemikexxster,Bonemikexxster,
I see you've studied the great propogandists and snake oil salesmen of our age and have tried to bamboozle me with your convoluted logic. First play the race card then once they're off balance you can do or say just about anything. Well I for one am not buying what you're selling!! (unless you can get it for me wholesale).
Exactly what society is it that you're talking about where trombones are so respected.
Let's look at our little microcosm; the orchestra.
Trombones are historical latecomers to this ensemble and even when included play little and often annoy those in close proximity because of the orchestrational heavy lifting required of them by most composers.
The original orchestras were almost all violins and to this day they are the hardest working and most respected members of the group (with tens of thousands of exceptions).
So....Scots are to trombones as Jews are to _____???
Because of the jokes violas and Poles are kindred spirits so let's get that off the table right away..
I'd say the Scots as a founding people, industrious and hard working are the violins and the trombones? Well they are of course the unwelcome outsiders, the Jews of the orchestra (the percussionists are Gypsy's and possibly gay Gypsy's to boot).
Thanks BTW for your very helpful suggestions re the "trombone group" neologism.....
POMPOUSNESS it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was with pompousness all the way! Loud and Proud! Once again I sound like and american football supporter...how did that happen? How about Go Big or Go Home...too hackneyed...I'll have to get on that. In any case, we are proud and pompous too, we are the ones who deliver the pomp to those sickly weak members of the violin and viol family. Cause for celebration, self-satisfied smirks, and insertion of thumbs undeneath suspenders!
Torontomave,
Thanks for your über-kind comments! You can count on me as your deliverer of pomp and sexy phrasing anytime. I am not sure about doing it on the treadmill, though- is that some sort of exercise machine?
BTW Blobbie,
Check your history- trombones are
1) are amoung , if not, the oldest instruments in the orchestra
2) predate the "Orchestra"
3) played in almost all serious religious music up until the present day
4) played in the opera orchestra since the founding of the opera.
Actually the trombones had a brief period where they were not part of the "band" and that was the age of those closet cases Haydn and Mozart. The rest of the time they were front and centre! (O.K. rear and centre, but why quibble!)
It's probably foolish to argue with a trombonist about trombones but here goes:
That the trombone is so old and pre-dates this and that is cool but drums pre-date almost everything. The point is that up until the post-Beethoven era trombones were relatively speaking, orchestral rarities. Always on the perpiphery making the occasional appearance and admittedly to great effect. Sort of like Sammy Davis Jr.'s cameo on "All in the Family".
All I was trying to say was that Mikexxxster doesn't know his Scots from his Jews or his trombone from his elbow or something.
Jews are the oldest monotheistic religion, pre-dating Christianity and Islam. They have played an important role in many cultural and scientific endeavours and societally have always been rear and center(OK a little to the left maybe). There has been a small and bothersome Jewish presence in most Western countries since their foundings so bottom line; the parallels are crystal clear as you so eloquently state in your most recent comment...trombones are the Jews of the orchestra. Hopefully this is a mantle that you will assume with pride (or pompousness better).
Guys, Guys, Guys,(or Goys, Goys, Goys, as the case may be!), calm yourselves. You're gettin' all 'het up' over nothing. As usual, I might add. The Blobbster is just trying to get you guys's goat and you're just leaping blindly into the deep end of the hottub like big lost fishes! Excuse the mixed metaphor, but you get my drift. Anyway, if you guys had the proper pride (or, I guess pompousness would be the current term) in your instruments (and, like Mave, I'm not refering to the ones floating in the hottubs of yore) you would be able to ignore his jibes with an airy wave of your hand, as I'm presently doing myself. Okay, all better now?
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