The Blob Healthwatch: C. Difficile, Fecal Transplantation, and You

This is a rather delicate subject but one of increasing interest and importance nevertheless. The rise of the drug resistant superbug is an everpresent worry in the world of medicine and the bacterium C. Difficile is without doubt the poster-germ for this problem. Patients who have been on antibiotics often have intestines that have been cleansed of all bacteria including the good ones (you know..the yogurt ones; acidophilus, bifidus, etc.) which leave them defenseless against a repopulation by unwelcome visitors. Once infected a downward spiral ensues that can lead to pseudomembranous colitis, an illness that is characterized by offensive-smelling diarrhea, fever, and abdominal pain. It can be severe, causing toxic megacolon, (ed. note: coincidentally, Toxic Megacolon is also the name of the next super villain in Spiderman 4) or even fatal.


Now the disgusting part...a new treatment has been developed called fecal transplantation (look it up)whereby a compatible donor's feces, replete with the beneficial flora, are checked for disease, mixed with saline and rectally delivered to the patient's colon via an enema. The few specialists who do this claim success rates as high as 95%!!

The image illustrates a post -antibiotic, barren intest-o-scape and a colonizing cluster of C. difficile bacteria. I have added words and liquified pooh to better illustrate the transplantation technique.

At present there is an actual stool shortage. The procedure will gain in popularity as C. Difficile related illnesses become more prevalent and many gastroenterologists, concerned by the low supply, are predicting a crisis. Lots of hospitals and newly opened feces banks are currently stockpiling and paying donors well for the now precious human waste material. My doctors tell me that my own stool has the specific type of biological blueprint that makes me a universal donor so bottom line...I am literally sitting on a goldmine!!! I knew one day my ship would come in ....(I said ship!).

The people from the Ileitis and Colitis Foundation have set up a donor fund for fecal transplantation or FT and have conscripted former A-lister and recipient of the treatment, Pierce Brosnan, to act as spokesman. Said the inebriated former star: "Listen, when it comes down to losing half your bowel or having them pour a quart of your brother-in-law's rank, liquified, shit into your ass you do what you have to do!" Truer words have never been spoken.