With Ramadan now over we can safely turn the page and look foreward to another joyous holiday season. Christmas and Hannukah sort of creep up on you. Before you can say "inter-denominational" there are but two days to go before your festivities of choice and many gifts yet to be bought. If you're at all like me you'll find yourself in some God-forsaken mall crammed full of like minded, last minute shoppers searching for "that perfect gift" and settling for much less...."Uncle Morton likes golf...I'll get him this golf calendar!" Then the calculations start, based on some mysterious value system that I believe has become hard wired in us over the generations, and we realize that a calendar is not enough so we have to "top up" the gift with some filler (sort of like adding baby's breath to a bouquet) to make us appear more generous...."Arnold Palmer fleece lined slippers!!...only 8 people to go!!"
It usually only takes me a few minutes to realize, once again, that the mall is full of stupid people whom I hate because they are procrastinators, rushing around mindlessly buying horrid, mass produced crap, praying for inspiration just as fervently as I pray for a loaded Uzi. Of course I'm mostly mad at myself but it's better while at the mall to hate everyone else (and their pathetic children too!!). Be it resolved that
this year will be different. I've already started my list and will share some of my finds with you as yet
another service that I can provide here at The Blob. First up is a new, adult angle on a classic toy from
T
yco ....a company that seems to have a firm grip on the needs of at least
this consumer.
T
yco ....a company that seems to have a firm grip on the needs of at least this consumer.
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Ed. note: (this is for those of you who find this post too subtle) Elmo uses his toy anal sphincter (E-Z grip diaphragm) to perform battery operated kegel excercises on whatever you want to put in there. This is why the toy is for ages 14 and up and why he says "ha ha ouch!"
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