This Just In......

Group Lists 10 Most Polluted Places on Earth
Wed Oct 18, 6:05 PM
By Timothy Gardner


NEW YORK (Reuters) - A Russian city where chemical weapons were once manufactured, a town in Zambia's copper mining belt, and a little known weblog called The Blob are among the 10 most polluted places on Earth, a U.S. environmental group said on Wednesday.
GreenWatch spokesman Garth Halvorsen was particularly upset about The Blob; "The VFC (verbal fecal coliform) count at that one site was the worst we've ever seen and has already caused serious skin diseases in several readers. We're talking impetigo, scabies and that's just the S's! This speaks to a complete lack of self-regulation and discipline......... don't even get me started on Zambia." When asked why he thought impetigo started with the letter S, Halvorsen quickly fled the room bringing the press conference to an abrupt end.
Upon further investigation The Blob does indeed show grossly elevated levels of fecal contamination but moderator and arbiter Bob Slapcoff claims that this is not entirely his fault. "I've tried policing the site and appealing to people's inner sense of decency but that works about as well as one-ply toilet paper. I'm hoping to get government regulators involved" said the burly Jew. When pressed further he conceded that a marketing campaign was already in preparation using beloved mascot DJ Slimy as it's principal spokesperson. Said Slapcoff; "Slimy is a good thing, an honest thing, and the first ever dog vomit slime mold to be awarded a coveted mascot position. If HE can't clean up my site then no one can".
GreenWatch has targeted The Blob to spearhead its campaign feeling that a success on the popular internet front will give more visibility to the other places that nobody really cares about.