It was a grey day, a nothing day. I channel surfed aimlessly...Regis, The View, another suicide bomber...aha sports! But no...just a rehash of over-hyped early season NFL games or beyond meaningless NHL pre-season intersquad scrimmages. I managed to pull my gaze away from the TV for a few seconds and watched a small spider navigate the cracks on my ceiling. Killing it would have made me feel as though I had a bit more control over my environment but I couldn't even summon enough energy to toss the slipper that for reasons unknown I was holding in my hand. As I contemplated my lethargy (now there's a waste of energy) I heard a voice form the TV and refocused instantly. Someone was talking about pizza..... or was it lasagna? I watched more intently. It was a Pizza Hut ad and as I sat there I knew instantly that my life was about to change for the better.
It seems that food scientists working for the famous restaurant chain have managed to fuse pizza and lasagna into one fabulous dish. For years industry insiders had talked longingly of a "Unified Food Theory" but many were put off by the daunting and formidable challenge. A massive influx of cash and unprecidented access to the FermiLab research facility in 2003 has finally borne fruit or should I say Pizzagna!!
I for one will never again order pizza only to look enviously across to the next booth at the steaming plate of lasagna then return the next day for the lasagna and wish that I'd ordered the delicious pizza (If only I had a dollar for every time that happened).
In a flash my life was less complicated. I felt the return of blood to my extremities and the spring back to my step. A prayer has been answered and now maybe, just maybe, the subject of this post will help dislodge the tenacious grip that pube removal services have on my ad space. Let us pray.
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