Flags flew at half mast all across our great nation this morning as news of Popeye's untimely death started to sink in. The beloved hero of early cartoons and comic books, Popeye the sailor man was the quintessential strong man. Ironically his death due to kidney failure was caused by E coli tainted spinach, yes spinach,the very food that gave him his herculean strength.
He is survived by wife Olive Oyl and son Swee'pea who are both in seclusion and unavailable for comment.
Funeral services will be held wednesday at Temple Beth Shalom Israel (I know...he didn't look Jewish!!) and will include a moving moment of reconciliation: a short eulogy from long time adversary Blutto. "Sure it was rough for a few years" said the burly seaman, "I mean....he got the girl and all I got was a broken jaw and an anchor to the @!!@%$## gut!! That being said, I do owe my career to the guy. What can I say...he'll be missed." The family will be accepting donations to the Kidney Foundation in lieu of gifts.
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