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Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Gneiss Cock!!








Granite slab with image of Jesus to be donated to church
12:00 AM CDT on Saturday, June 28, 2008
By DAN X. McGRAW / The Dallas Morning News


John Ganster has watched cars creep, crawl and park in front of his East Dallas stone company as their occupants try to catch a glimpse of a granite slab stained with what some think is an image of Jesus.
"Some customers and people have just wanted to take a look for themselves," said Mr. Ganster, a co-owner of Verona Marble Company.

At first, no one at the company noticed the image, Mr. Ganster said. Then a customer called and asked about buying the "Jesus slab," a 1,000-pound hunk of granite that comes from Brazil.
"We said, 'What are you talking about?' " he said. "We went to see for ourselves."
The stone had been in the company's Tulsa, Okla., store. It was moved to the Dallas office in December, after builders in the Tulsa area kept passing on it because of cosmetic imperfections.
"That's kind of ironic," Mr. Ganster said. "Christ said that he would build his church on the stone that the builders rejected."
The company hopes to donate the stone to a Catholic church in Oklahoma. The church could then use it as a fundraiser or as part of a building.
"This came to us for a reason," Mr. Ganster said. "I don't know why, but it did."


For a video look at this fascinating story that is more about the power of suggestion than anything else have a gander at this:


These images are always Rohrschach inkblot tests but on a larger, more public scale. People make of them what they will and religious figures are often at the top of the list. When I look at the section of granite which I have reprinted, cropped from the original larger slab, but otherwise competely untouched (I swear!!) I can just make out a Jesus -like figure or maybe Dr. Zaius from Planet of the Apes, perhaps it's a medieval knight clad in chainmail or a British judge in wig and robe.
Whatever the case, all these images have one thing in common; look back up top....there....right in the middle...that thing that looks like a huge dick. Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't it seem almost impossible to miss?? I mean, it's right there, clearly delineated and even appears to have balls. And it's not just a penis but an erect one...rock hard (sorry) and, contrary to those who believed that Jesus had a liberal bent, it's quite clear that he leaned to the right.
If you want to be mean you'll tell me that you see no such thing, that I'm phallicly obsessed and should seek counseling but I'd spot such a cruel prank a mile away. Anyways, If it is Jesus it looks like even he has decided to cash in on the whole internet porn thing. Look for church attendance to rise in the next little while. Jesus: prophet....perhaps, son of God....who knows, marketing genius....definitely!!




13 comments:

dixxx said...

Dear Blob,

Firstly I would like to say how nice it is that you have been making regular posting, and how much each of us blobophiles appreciate that.
Secondly, and most importantly, of course Jesus would have a huge erect dong. He is our lord and savior, what did you expect? A shriveled cocktail weenie? Who would worship a god with a little member? Praise Jesus!

Yours in the stony balls of the son.

Dixxx

Joseph Smith IV said...

Amen, brother Dixxx!

slapper58 said...

I guess I'll have to agree with you Dixxx. It makes perfect sense that Jesus would be so benevolently endowed.
My regular posts are a direct result of my lack of work but at least my readers are happy!!
Somehow it seems that through my suffering all Blobophiles benefit. I'll have to be satisfied with at least having that in common with Jesus.
As for your last question: Who would worship a god with a little member? I can answer you in one word....Buddhists.

Mama C said...

As one who has been recently both catching up on old Blob posts (sorry for my slothfulness in that regard, Blobbele) and studying Buddhism(what a coincidence, eh?) I can attest that all the Buddhists I know are all endowed (if that's the word I want) with modest members, as befits their calling, which is to not shine a light out into the world. At least, I think that's pretty much the gist of their whole thing. But I only just started.

slapper58 said...

Mama C,
It's terrific that you have the time and inclination to do all of this catching up and I see that your down with the whole satire thing from some of your comments on other more recent posts.
It is this one however that has really piqued my interest.

Firstly I didn't know that you were a budding Buddhist and had seized upon this faith in your continuing spiritual quest.
Secondly, exactly what branch of Buddhism is this where the male members are so easily sized up..is it clothing optional?...are you sure it's not Nuddhism that you've gotten involved with??
Thirdly, have you considered Judaism? (ask Phyllis about the
7th day ceremony).

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