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Friday, April 11, 2008

Spring has Sprung

As my driveway glacier slowly recedes and Mt. Christolopoulous (as we call the majestic snowpile at my neighbour's house) turns to Lake Christolopoulous, it's safe to say that we have survived the winter of '08!! Spring, with it's bold promise of hope and renewal is at hand and it couldn't have come a moment too soon. The birds are back waking me at 5 a.m. with their delightful cacophony of joy (note to self: stop at Canadian Tire, buy Acme Bird Zapper) and the melting snow reveals tons of rotting animal feces that will be subsumed by our gardens later to become the tomatoes of August (that's also the name of my next novel).

Listen here to Nina Simone's take on the Beatles classic "Here Comes the Sun". Still an optimistic song, Simone, with a slower tempo and her moaning emphasis on key words adds a layer of meaning, the sense of relief after having survived an ordeal. We Nor'Easterners can relate: :

Spring too has it's moments of dread as any flood victim will attest but for me the fear lurks underground and, as I write this, is most likely stirring from his hivernal torpor, rubbing his beady little eyes, priming his trowel like claws, and feeling a might peckish after a 4 month fast.

I have a groundhog problem and nothing I do can stop the plundering beast. Budding flowers are routinely devoured, garbage bags violated, garden and lawn booby trapped with tunnel entrances and this brazen creature has the nerve to sun himself on my deck every morning as I watch helplessly!!

Also known as the whistlepig or land beaver this voracious and crafty earth moving machine taunts me at every turn. This is no ridiculous hand puppet as was Bill Murray's nemesis in Caddy Shack. This is the real deal; nature red in tooth and claw and armed with eons of well evolved survival skills. I almost brained it with a large rock from 30 paces once but that was as close as I'd get and now I find out that they have an uncommonly thick cranium and could easily survive a blow to the head that would jellify the brains of most other rodents.

And so another inevitable rite of spring awaits me, another round of stop gap landfill projects and pointless cayenne pepper dusting of flower beds.

This kind of brings to mind a different Bill Murray film and if any Hollywood type execs are listening OY have I got a sequel for you!! Groundhog Day II. Just think of it.....the exact same movie, don't change a thing (except the title a little bit) and in this, the irony age, people will flock to theatres or at very least revisit the movie on DVD. Small cash outlay, huge returns, what could be better??!!?? Call my people, we'll book a to Spice Depot to pick up my bulk order of cayenne.


Party Bear said...


Let's celebrate spring by having lunch at 2.00 at the Villa. Blob, Mike, Farley, and Robertson are all invited to join me and the kiddies!
Whoooo HooooooOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Party Bear said...

And your friend from Roumania will be there...!

Vivian said...

Hey, you people aren't allowed to have fun while I'm not there!! I insist you stay home and contemplate your sinful natures. Not fair and moreover I know what you're up to cause I can read the Blob all the way from Nipon!!

Mama C said...

And, while I'm at it, and I don't want to sound peevish, but there's a glaring absence of letters in my inbox, and yet my family members (Chess Club excluded, of course) have time to write in to the Blob...? Okay, now I'm feeling peevish. I miss you guys!! I need letters! Contact with the homefront!

slapper58 said...

Mama C (Vivian),
I think your family was contemplating their sinfullness this evening over cosmos and foosball while I was playing hockey.
We'll abstain from fun if you abstain from sushi and
Besides we don't "really" have fun when your not around. (awwwww)

Maria Callous said...

You better believe I don't have any fun unless your around, mama. Certainly not with these low-lifes. You wouldn't believe the perverted stories I've had to endure in the absence of parental supervision. All this talk about sausages and bananas! Yuck! I know we were at breakfast, but come on!

slapper58 said...

ONE lame sausage joke....sue me!!!
What about the career advice and the feigned interest in everything but my texas burger, eh???
Sure I seemed to be having a good time, (didn't we all?) but without Mama C there it all seemed like so much meaningless chatter (especially Farley Mowat...what a pompous bore...nobody cares if wolves only see in various shades of magenta...GEEZ).
Come back soon Mama C!!!

Party Bear said...

Hey Vivi,

Wipe that Sushi-eating grin off that face of yours and admit you are having the time of your life! Sheesh! Youare workshipped as a tall "Beautiful Woooman", youare playing in the best halls in the world, and then get to get drunk with stressed-out Japanese businessmen all night long! You are living the life, baby, while the rest of us are hard at work....

Love ya, Miss ya!

Mama C said...

Now we're making progress. I checked my inbox at and there was nothing, but I guess I should have checked here first! Excuse me, Blob, while I use your blogspace to keep in touch.

Okay, I know touring sounds like a whole lotta laughs, but somehow those same laughs don't materialize as often as one could wish. Due to having trouble sleeping past 6:00 in the morning (that would be 5:00pm your time) I'm too tired to party in any serious way at night. Hence my doldrums. I have eaten some decent food, yes. I actually enjoyed octupuss and squid for the very first time in my life just the other night, when a colleague's Japanese friend took us out for an authentic Japanese traditional meal. It was really yummy! I've eaten both those things before but I don't believe I ever could see what the fuss was about, if there is any fuss. Dave, you would have loved it, despite the small portions. Anyway,despite all that I'm looking forward to some home-cooked meals when I get home because I'm getting tired of ferrin food!

Party Bear said...

O.K. O.K., I take it all back. The sound of your mellifluous voice came through in your writing, and I am all with the melting here, especially when you sound like an appalachian! Rrrraawww....

slapper58 said...

Hey you they say in Japan: "Get a loom!!" (sorry)
and yes; there's been squid and octopus related fuss for longer than I can remember.