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Sunday, February 17, 2008

Seoul Brother #1 or of Hares and Hair

PARADE Magazine Names Kim Jong-il of North Korea the World's Worst Dictator
NEW YORK, Feb. 15 /PRNewswire/ -- Kim Jong-il of North Korea has been designated the World's Worst Dictator in PARADE Magazine's 6th annual listing by Contributing Editor David Wallechinsky. Kim beat out Omar Al-Bashir of Sudan, who held the No. 1 position for three years in a row, from 2005 to2007.


Ok, so this is North Korea we're talking about and Seoul is in the South but
Pyongyang Brother #1 didn't seem to do it for me. There are currently some 70 dictatorial regimes so rising to the top takes some doing. I'm just happy that I didn't have to be on the judging panel (especially for the swimsuit competition which was won by Vladimir Putin...despHOT!!! )

How to choose among so many tyrants without getting sent to a labour camp or worse?? In Kim's case I believe it's his creativity and his sense of style. He claims his unique pompadour is all natural; "I just wake up..a little spritz..a little fluff and voila!!" but I managed to get hold of a top secret photo (at great risk TYVM) that puts the lie to that assertion.

Sure he punishes 3 generations for the alleged crime of one family member, builds up his military as children starve, incarcerates hundreds of thousands of so-called dissidents, keeps his entire population in a virtual information lock down but it has to be the "Giant Bunny Caper" that seperated him from the pack.


Somehow some of Kim's people found out about Karl Szmolinsky, a German living near Berlin who breeds rabbits that can weigh as much as 22 lbs.!! He was persuaded to send over 8 of the gargantuan lagomorphs to start a breeding colony and eventually end hunger in N. Korea as we know it. He was even invited to oversee the operation as a guest of Kim Jung Il and the people of North Korea but the visa was abruptly cancelled and his phone calls went unanswered.
Long story short; the rabbits were served at a birthday dinner for the voracious dictator. (I swear this is an un-retouched photo)
Truly a master stroke and surely the winning move in a very competitive field.
I'll leave you with a little anecdote I came across while researching this post.
A little girl's rabbit had gone missing much to her chagrin. It turns out her dad, a fine chef, had cooked it up and served it to her claiming it was a dish called Sardinian chicken.
Possibly an urban legend but how many of us haven't had that "it's 5 o'clock...what the hell am I gonna feed the kids" moment.
I know I have.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Try feeding one large carnivore and two herbivores at the same meal. Sheesh! The five o'clock headache goes double in my house!

slapper58 said...

If the carnivore in question is Party bear (and it is) then you'll find no pity here. All bears, even of the party sub-species, are omnivores and will eat and drink most anything. Consider yourself lucky!!