Search This Blog

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Lohan Joins other Young Starlets on Deathwatch List


"The world has been very hard on her," said Michael Heller, a lawyer and Lohan family friend. "She has a lot of personal issues and family issues. There's an incredible amount of pressure on this 20-year-old."
He also noted on Tuesday that Lohan has "gone from one movie to the next," spending long stretches of time away from her family.
"She's living in a hotel," he said. "It's a very lonely existence."
Lohan's mother, Dina Lohan, told Us Weekly magazine earlier this month that when her daughter isn't working, "she's so bored."

Reading this excerpt from a press release you can't help but feel sorry for young Lindsay Lohan and others of her ilk...the Olsen twins, Nicole Ritchie, Lara Flynn Boyle, Paris Hilton etc. These emaciated celebrities are literally a vanishing breed who have made rehab a major US growth industry and have negatively influenced many young, celebrity obsessed girls. As the proud and reasonably protective father of a 17 year old girl I feel obligated to mention this phenomenon and urge all of you with daughters to do as I do and slip cinnamon buns into their lunches. If that doesn't work you can always try talking about it.
As an interesting sidelight this issue points out a major difference between men and women in our society at least as it relates to rich entertainers with low self-esteem (a thesis just waiting to be written!!). Men in this category take drugs, drink to excess and eat till their hearts explode while women, similarly afflicted, take drugs, drink to excess and starve themselves to death. Witness the demise of John Candy, Chris Farley, John Belushi, Sam Kinison etc. vs. Karen Carpenter and the impending deaths of all those ingenues mentioned above.
Sure there are children suffering around the world but let's not forget about those right here in our midst. Remember....charity begins at home.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

A serious problem that oughtn't be ignored.

I like your idea of slipping cinnamon buns in their
lunches, but might suggest going a step further
and actually putting your @#$% in their $#%.

Wait, wait hear me out. Putting your &^*@ in their
$%^ would teach them a lesson, and benefit you as well as them. So everybody wins.

As my dad used to say: "next problem, please!"

F.J.

slapper58 said...

Dear,dear Filthy Jeffrey....why is it that your solution to every problem usually involves sticking a %&$!! in an $*? If only the world were that simple!! I remember not too many years ago seeking you out for some advice about a financial problem I was having. I was stunned by your reply but no moreso than my accountant who had to be hospitalized after I, in good faith mind you, followed said advice and $%$??! his %$$ with my *&@?% and a few %?$/*$s. Strangely this seemed to settle the issue but at what cost I ask you....at what cost?? I've since turned my back on your preferred strategy in lieu of talking things out...somewhat less successful but at least I can sleep well at night (the ointment helps too). Maybe it's time you grew up a little.

"Clean" Bob

Anonymous said...

We should put Oprah on the case, hence the phrase: "I'm all over it like Oprah on a baked ham!" Lindsay could definitly use a nibble of baked ham, but if Oprah is on it already, Lindsay better be careful or she might lose a finger in the process.

Do you have a good way to rid your abode of ants?
Thanks in advance.
Norwegian Fred

slapper58 said...

Thanks Fred....not a bad idea but I think Oprah is too busy solving real problems and besides, she probably prays to have a month or two of anorexia each year and is rather envious of young Lindsay.
I'll deal with the ant question later....

Anonymous said...

дог и малолетка http://free-3x.com/ порно фото со студентками free-3x.com/ школьницы порновидео онлайн [url=http://free-3x.com/]free-3x.com[/url]