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Sunday, May 06, 2007

OOPS....I Forgot My Own Anniversary

The Facts:The much heralded May 6th Blob anniversary date was little more than the result of a gross miscalculation compounded by carelessness and no small amount of hubris. The true date is actually May 21st and all celebrations will be put on hold till then.

The Excuse:To get more in touch with my religion I've been trying to live my life according to the Jewish calendar in lieu of attending synagogue, cutting bacon out of my diet, or keeping my hands off of shiksas. My only other option was painful and unnecesarry foreskin reconstruction (apparently they use skin from behind your own ear.......said one satisfied customer: "It may not look nicer but I swear I can hear things through my underpants!!") As you can imagine, living life outside of the Gregorian calendar mainstream is a difficult task seeing as I have enough trouble following even my regular agenda. A simple misreading of the exact Hebrew date and a faulty conversion later set things in motion and the date of May 6th was erroneously posted. I will henceforth return to using the Western calendar.

I apologize to those of you who were hurriedly putting the finishing touches on their notes of congratulations and/or gifts and assure you that MAY 21st is the official one year anniversary date.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

According to your calander Euphoniach falls somewhere in the vicinity of the 1st week of July. Is there a specific date or is it a week long escapade of celebrations? Do I have to change my diet? Sacrifice anything or anyone? I would be grateful for any information that might help me prepare for this most high of holidays.

Dixxx
ps. Can I get the week paid off from work?