Please...Don't Wake Me Up!!!

I've only been disconnected from the web for a few days but during that time it seems as though I drifted into a reverie where the bizarre and illogical fantasies of my subconscious became some sort of hyper-reality. I dreamt of a restless spotlight, it's bright beam never focusing for more than a minute: 1st it trains itself on a diaper clad astronaut bent on revenge only to be whisked over to the tragic death of former nude golddigger Anna Nicole Smith but wait....now it spies the even more tragic life of Brittney Spears as she checks in and out of rehab before shaving her head, going in and out of rehab yet again and...whoa....now it's back at Anna Nicole and a crying judge named Larry has finally decided where to bury her rapidly decomposing body.

Please, don't bother writing in with your analyses. These were clearly the result of random misfirings in my cerebral cortex and any attempt to make sense of them will surely end in failure. I was really enjoying the daydreams until I was brought back to reality by a little something in my comment section that prompted some investigation and revealed a disturbing hoax. Here's the comment:

Shannon O., Chicago said... Dear Blob,I am a first time inquirer, long time reader.What I'd like to know is, what are the mechanics and philosophy of gerbil stuffing? How are the gerbils inserted and retrieved? Don't they bite and scratch? Why not hamsters or snakes? Is this a common practice? My curious friends and I await your reply with bated breath. --Shannon O., Chicago

I was overjoyed at finally having penetrated the Chicago market and was getting set for a great answer with some initial photoshopping (and a reasonable premise based on the gerbils penchant for tunneling into the warm soil of their native Gobi desert) when my research led me to Cecil Adams and his well known column; The Straight Dope and then to a question from one Shannon O. (what a tangled web we weave...) the very same that was copied and pasted verbatim into my comment section. Imagine my diappointment; no reader from Chicago, no reason for a well formed answer. If you must know then go here. I can't be bothered to explain. http://tafkac.org/animals/gerbilling/gerbils_gerbils_and_more.html

BTW After a lot of noodling around I think I have a fairly solid internet connection so there'll be more Blob to come. It's late now so I think I'll give it a rest, maybe watch a little CNN before hitting the sack, see if anything intersesting is happening in the news.