I awoke this morning full of expectation and wonder, another Valentine's day was upon us. Even though here in the Northeast we're in the throes of our 1st major winter storm I remain undaunted and filled with love. As luck would have it the strong winds make for a driving, horizontal snowfall which I figure will just blow everything over to the neighbours (happy shovelling suckah!!!) but this for me is a mere bonus.
As someone firmly ensconced in a long distance relationship I of course will be spending today alone. I get to avoid the hackneyed "flowers, chocolates, dinner, concessionary sexual practices routine" (Hallmark conducted a recent poll that indicates that globally there are more instances of sodomy and other deviant sex acts between established couples onValentine's Day than any other day of the year with the local exception of Holland's Ass-sexeDag) but I still take the time to add a few of the little touches that make today so special: a 3rd cake of Shredded Wheat, a double dose of Febreze for those "hard to clean" areas of my house, and who knows, I may even call in sick today for work! As light and gay as I feel though I've been buoyed further still by news from the world of science....it appears male sweat has aphrodisiac qualities!!
I'm no scientist but I am somewhat of a sweathog, indeed I can work up a healthy glow just thinking about getting off the couch to fetch the morning paper from my front porch.
While I haven't read the report I feel that I can readily support these findings with my own empirical evidence from a recent trip to Colombia. The air was tropical and humid, the average daily temperature was 33 (low 90's) and I was a walking rainforest...how then to explain my inordinate success with the ladies! Once again science provides the answers and speaking of science, check out this video dealing with the cultivation of psychotropic fungi to help put you in a holiday mood. Have a happy day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udMReG1mwyk
6 comments:
Valentine's Day SUCKS! Being a female does not automatically make me love Valentine's Day. We get pissed off about being alone on a "holiday" that celebrates love and realtionships just as much as any guy. Weather you are a guy or a girl doesn't make a difference. Lonliness is lonliness and it doesn't matter your gender. It hurts to be remineded that you aren't celebrating and aren't being celebrated on a holiday that is supposed to be about love. Valentine's is now what I make it to be. Valentine's Day is now a "holiday" meant for getting crocked and not giving a flying fu*k that you are not in a relationship. It will happen for us when it's supposed to. So until then, raise you glasses, bottles, or cans, and say "FUCK OFF Saint Valentine!"
ps. Bob, why have you stopped calling me? You know I can't get enough of your man musk.
pps. the Queen gives a big shout-out to all her peeps here in Canuckada. Peace.
Michaelle my sweet....I recall you had many faces but it was the drunken, bitter one that I remember most! How enticing and yet, I musn't and cannot go back for I have have pledged my troth to another. Am I mistaken or are you not married? I know the guy's an aging, pseudo-intellectual but are you THAT unsatisfied. Maybe what they say is true; once you go Blob.....
xoxoxoxox belated Valentine smooches & hugs to all you blobbers!
man sweat, yes. It can be an incredible turn on or a revolting turn off - yes I've experienced both.
I did an informal poll with all the Catholics I know - they do take the corner on saints, don't they, and not a one has ever heard of St. Valentine. So we need not tell him to fuck off as he was never really there in the first place.
Spent said evening with my current squeeze watching, what is it, some kind of wrestling, marshall arts, stupid ass fighting. His roomate was there and wouldn't go to bed...Now you men out there might see this insane kind of fighting a testosterone high (lots of blood too) but I'd say us gals see it as stinky, revolting sweat!ugh!
Winter is gone here, was very hot yesterday...take note Vivvie, skimpy clothes are in order.
Thanks for the holiday wishes and timely thoughts on sweat paradisegirl. So....you've got a new man. Let's see now, he's got a roommate and he's into Ultimate Fighting. By any chance is your new "man" in the Turks on spring break?? Just asking.
LOL, a Thursday gut buster!
BTW, plenty old people here (TCI vernacular) have roommates because the rent and cost of living is so f'ing high. It's difficult to find a 1 bedroom for under 1800 a month and that doesn't include utilities. A/C bills are on par with Montreal heating costs.
I'll be moving in July and this old trout will in all likelihood have to drum up someone - I think a construction worker; they work 6 days a week and spend their spare time either fishing (no girls allowed, boneheads, no wonder they can't get laid!) or belly up at some bar or another swilling beer and yagermeisters.
How is it that YOU know the name of that sport? Clandestine viewing perhaps?
Cheers,
P.G.
Uh, excuse me, I'm a little behind, but what is lonliness? I wouldn't want to criticize the right honourable... but what's the deal? I would accept one misspelling of the word but two in a row! For shame! The queen is rolling over in her grave!
And another thing... OH, forget it.
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