For Ladies Mostly

For almost 3 years now, The Blob has meant so much to so few. Useless advice and information have been doled out, jokes told, fake products hawked and all free of charge. (don't worry...I'm not about to ask you for money)

With that in mind let's all take a deep breath as we wade into the murky waters of relationships. A subject that perhaps, amidst all the frivolity, I've neglected.

Problems are many and solutions are hard to come by, after all ... people, including women, are involved. I'll now attempt to clear a couple of things up where so many others have made vast fortunes failing.

Back in the day a modest and successful kids show called Romper Room had a segment where the host/teacher would peer out through the TV screen using a "magic mirror". As little kids we were convinced she could see us!

I too have such a device, specifically tailored to look out from behind my computer and into the psyches of my female readership. Doctor Phil would kill for such a thing but again, don't worry... it's metaphorical.

THE PROBLEM

What I see from this vantage point is that women in commited, heterosexual, relationships are by and large missing the boat. The majority who complain of not being loved properly or validated sufficiently need only broaden their scope and look around their own houses. Are their rules being followed by their spouse? ... cabinet doors and drawers closed, clothes picked up, towels rehung etc. etc. If so this is one of the many ways your man is telling you that he loves and respects you. For many men these behaviours do not come naturally.

For your husband, NOT forgetting his used underwear on the kitchen table while he stops by the fridge on the way to the laundry room is every bit as valid a loving gesture as leaving a single rose on your pillow and yet women continuously overlook the obvious.

Why would we put the toilet seat down if it wasn't out of respect for you? Have the stray hairs been cleaned from the bathtub, the beard stubble rinsed from the sink, the very sink that he pees in without telling you??? The floors or dishes washed and any other number of chores completed during the course of a given week? And all this on top of saying he loves you, opening the occasional door and making sure your physical and emotional needs are met....as far as he can tell.

There is so much love going on and you aren't even aware of it. Soon enough and as a consequence, the husband starts to feel invalidated and the downward spiral begins.

THE SOLUTION

The answer of course is to start noticing and embracing these loving gestures, not keying in on the odd fault. That twinge in the pit of your stomach you felt when I mentioned "a single rose left on your pillow" can happen all day long if you choose to notice what is already there and trust me ladies, the twinges compound and build until you feel like exploding. Some women I've spoken to who have adopted this attitude have actually climaxed using this technique. I call it a "choregasm" and according to them it's every bit as good as the real thing!

Does he wash your walls, polish your floors, scrub your carpet, degrease your oven, lather your cat??? He loves you!! Now leave him alone and let him watch TV.