Jeff Beck and Eric Clapton are in town for what promises to be a legendary concert, a local orchestra has been hired for the occasion, and I have been chosen to play timpani.
Come with me won't you, for an exclusive BLOB behind the scene look at how it all went down:
11:30 - Move timps to small hot rehearsal/dressing room, set up near imported cookies and wait for stagehands to deliver stands and chairs for 12 o'clock call.
12:30 - Stuff finally shows up, music handed out, rehearsal begins. We are so ready to rock!!!
1:00 - Food court, newspaper, muffin type thing, coffee, olympics on nearby TV.
Come with me won't you, for an exclusive BLOB behind the scene look at how it all went down:
11 a.m. - Arrive at the Bell Centre's massive loading dock to deliver my drums. Huge semi trucks everywhere and one catering van brimming with trays of fabulous food. We got coffee and a tin of cookies (imported ones though!!)
11:15 a.m - Timps now inside, the stage is being set for tonight's epic performance. IATSE members swarm about like paunchy worker bees in preparation. There is an eery sense of anticipation in the cavernous arena.
11:30 - Move timps to small hot rehearsal/dressing room, set up near imported cookies and wait for stagehands to deliver stands and chairs for 12 o'clock call.
12:30 - Stuff finally shows up, music handed out, rehearsal begins. We are so ready to rock!!!
12:31 - Open my folder to check out my parts. Orchestra will be playing 7 tunes with the guitar hero, Jeff Beck. Let's rock!!!!
12:32 - Start with the encore and the only song I play. Puccini's "Nessun Dorma" (considered the heavy metal anthem of it's day)
12:45 - My work here is done. Next call at 3 has now been delayed till around 4:30. Will now go about getting paid while creatively killing time.
1:00 - Food court, newspaper, muffin type thing, coffee, olympics on nearby TV.3:00 - All done, only another hour and a half to kill...excitement building!!
4;30 - Onstage with the man himself and his kick ass band. Monster drummer Narada Michael Walden comes up to say hi...asks if I was the same guy from their gig the night before in Toronto. I tell him no but reassure him that all of us Canadians look the same..an honest mistake.
4:31 - 5:55 Watch show from on-stage, behind my drums.
5:56 -6:00 Play my 30 seconds, a massive crescendo on the dominant chord leading to an orgasmic resolution. (uh oh...a trap...if I listen to Jeff Beck who plays a certain note too early I'll resolve my chord and change drums prematurely...must relax!!)
6:01 clean -up and supper.
7:30 - Showtime! The Bell Center is full...rock and ROLL!! An hour later it's all over, the trap avoided I pack up and head for home.....another satisfied customer left in my wake.
Watch as the Madison Square Garden timpanist starts at 1:50, falls in the trap at 2:00 and climaxes early,then half-hardedly tries to regroup by going back to the big drum.
Apparently the conductor was kind afterwards, telling him that this happens to lots of guys and that he'd be sure to call him next time they were in New York.
Poor guy, his 15 seconds of shame captured on the MSG big screen and now immortalized on YouTube!
Moral of the story: If you can make it in Montreal you can make it anywhere!
10 comments:
Blobby, let me be the first to say: Where the fuck have you been?! I'm glad that your first post in half a year was one filled with huge semis, loading docks and premature resolutions. You are truly an inspiration to 12 year olds everywhere. Keep up the good (albeit not-so-frequent) work!
Whoa! 4 months away and back with a bang, as it were. Should I bother reinstating The Blob into my bookmark menu, or is this just a one off?
Sweet Dixxx
It's Half-heartedly you moron.
p.s. So glad you're back sweetie!
It's great to be back after a cozy but tedious hibernation and nice to see some regular faces in the comment section!
You can put me back in your bookmark section and link to The Blob on your facebook page but keep in mind that my return also coincides with a very hectic week of work (already making excuses...this doesn't augur well does it?)
Anyways, I can't believe it's my first post in months and already I have to point out what a fool David is.
Maria can you please tell your Dad that half-hardedly was a pun. You understood the general thrust of the post and "half-hardedly" was clearly a reference to a semi.
Must I explain everything???
Blobby, I am ashamed to have to reconcile that even in his inebriated state at 1:18 am that my father can't get a hard-on joke. At least you are here to point out the error of his ways and we are here to laugh at him.
ps Aren't you glad I said "joke" ?
Hi Bob,
Thanks for coming to my defense, Erica. You are the picture of a kind and understanding child.
I think the lesson we have learned here, is that I really do think you are an idiot! My mistake- duly noted. I must learn to be more watchful when descending into the murky waters of the blob. I am a simple lad from the Ottawa Valley, and some of your city ways are confusing to me!
In the future, though can we have at least some posts where you don't bring up your throbbing member?
I remain your respectfully chastened servant,
Party Bear
One had heard so much about this blog that perhaps one was looking for something a little more original upon it's (admittedly) highly-anticipated return...
There is just a touch of familiarity about the jest, a kind of "recherche a la temps perdu", or rather, a more sadly stated "mais ou sont les neiges d'antan" "cri de coeur", if you understand me.
And yet... and yet... and yet... where are the tits? Where are the asses? Where are the euphoniums? One can't help but feel that these are very important questions...
One senses a post-coital feeling hovering over this writing... one feels that we have been here before, and in rather better times.
Hey Clive Barnes (if that's your real name!), you tight-assed quiffie loser!!!
Fuck you, man!!! Blobbie rocks!! He'll get around to the good stuff... what would YOU know about tits, anyway, poofter?!?!?! Next thing you know, you'll be asking for oboe shit, or something totally weird like that... FUCK YOU, Jive-Ass-Clive!!! BLOBBIE ROCKS!!!
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