Leave it to Cleavage

As the faithful are well aware I shy away from personal anecdotes but this one is directly responsible for inspiring the main body of this post so away we go!

The other night I was in the orchestra pit during the intermission of an opera gig. I'd arranged on this very site to have regular contributor UnderworldPrincess (08!) come on down and say hi. That she did as she leaned deeply over the balustrade in a low cut top to engage me in conversation and ask where Satan (the big man as she called him) was. Being ever the gentleman and before my section mate Karl could have a coronary I quickly cut the talking short and told her I'd come up to say hello (he later reproached me for this).

Later that evening in a phonecall to my GF she confirmed what I'd suspected; that women do this sort of thing on purpose but now UnderworldPrincess contends that she simply forgot that she was flashing her wares. I'll take her word for it even though I'm a bit sceptical but if it's true then it's a pity that more young women in their prime aren't similarly forgetful. It's been said that youth is wasted on the young...there's also a case to be made for forgetfulness being wasted on the elderly.

Anyways, what should come across my desk this morning but yet another request from a company to advertise here on The Blob. For a small fee I've agreed to help them out:

For millenia now women have used their physical attributes to get what they want in practically all areas of day to day life. It probably didn't take even the stupidest cavewoman very long to realize that she had something that could turn even the strongest caveman into a begging idiot (until he clubbed her over the head and dragged her off by the hair to do whatever it was he wanted to do in the 1st place).

Now that we are somewhat more civilized women's sexual power is even greater and yet something in the marketing department seems to be lacking. Taking a cue from the grocery industry we at Asset Display Technologies have developed a revolutionary product designed to help today's woman maximize her attributes without appearing overly whorish. Take a look at this typical scene from your local produce section:

Without being too obvious your local grocer has used special lighting and occasionally a fine spray of fresh, cold water to make these ripe melons appear that much more succulent and appealing.

Here at ADT we've taken the very same technology, shrunken it way down, and embedded the entire unit under the brim of a chic, designer style baseball cap (available in black, pink, and white) which is well suited for anything , from a night of clubbing to a brisk walk in the park.

It's a fun and fabulous way to emphasize your charms and our spokeswoman Lindsay Lohan swears by it; "I've never felt more confident then I do when I wear the "Rack Light" Cleavage Display System. Wherever I go it's like I'm on a soundstage only I get to call the shots!!"

Thanks Lindsay...here at ADT we couldn't agree with you more. The hat was designed with together young women of today in mind....women just like you!!!

Order your "Rack Light" cap today through The Blob gear department and be the first babe on your block to be putting your absolutely best face forward!!*

*WARNING: they probably won't be looking at your face.