The hype machine that has been lying dormant for years as she miraculously gave birth to an actual human child is back in gear and we will have the usual onslaught of TV appearances, books, CD's, magazine articles, ring tones, perfumes and assorted other products. This is an ego that is very hungry so her legions of adoring fans can look forward to vapid talk show patter and more on-stage histrionics including the patented "chest thump" move which she perfected while frequently helping jumpstart her husband René's ailing heart.
Now word has it that she is thinking of portraying iconic soprano Maria Callas on film. Indeed, in a recent interview she spoke openly of Callas as her muse and a kindred spirit. Designer Karl Lagerfeld and his crew actually photographed her made up as Callas for a magazine spread so it appears as though all systems are go for the film to be made. If "La Celine" wants to do it then no ammount of money will be able to stop her. Watch the video above to get a good idea of the sublime artistry of Maria Callas and then link to the following tribute by Dion (WARNING: The last 50 seconds have been declared "a crime against humanity and all that is holy" by the world court at The Hague. Feel free to skip the first 3 and a half minutes) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujrOVo7J1HA
11 comments:
Hey Blobber! It's good to be back! Is there anything more disgusting than the whims of the rich and tasteless? Surely the likes of The Human Boat Horn are worthy of nothing more than licking the boots of true artists such as Maria Callas (Maria Callous, I trust this is gaining me points!)!!! However; this repulsive creature masquerading as a woman will almost certainly get her way- the movie will be made, and her adoring, know-nothing, slack-jawed drooling fans will lap up this bullshit. (I have nothing to add, at this point, vis a vis ((North)) American Pop Culture.) "As a dog returnith to his vomit, so a fool returnith to his folly." By the way- I've heard a rumour that there will be a small part in the film depicting a very young C. Dion (I shudder merely to type the name), to be played by one of the more ugly camels from The World's Favourite Pig-Caller's wedding!! Keep up the good work, Mein Blobele!! You rock!!!
MIKESTER!! Thank God you're alive!!!
I don't know where you've been or what you've been up to but I've certainly suffered in your absence.
The last several posts have had topics carefully chosen to draw you back into the fold.
I started off last thursday with a one-two punch of Quebec nationalism and scantily clad school girls to raise both ire and ardor. I followed quickly on Friday with a trombone spectacular with your picture no less and side commentary from TO Mave and Dixxx but still no response. Saturday...more Quebec nationalism and a reVAMPed picture where the question "Why is this man smiling" could now be answered....again....nothing. I was basically at a loss until Maria C. somehow sensing my agony came through with the Celine Dion idea. I ran with it and voila: the return of Mikester. Welcome back ol' buddy!
I take the non-response from you and your brass friends re: my trombone post to indicate that it was so accurate and concise that nothing needed to be or could be added. This silence speaks volumes and I thank you all humbly and with grace.
Hey, some of us are busy, y'know? We have LIVES??!! No, seriously, for my part I was just too lazy to respond, although not too lazy to laugh heartily, Blobbel, so not to worry. I loved both versions of the now famous trombone quartet but of course the addition of a beautiful woman (whoever she may be) improves every picture! If it's any consolation, us Callouses haven't seen hide nor hair of the mikester lately, either, so don't take it personally. Or, wait a minute, maybe we should ALL be taking it personally!
BTW, I can't wait to hear from Maria Callous on the juxtaposition of these two divas (one true, the other false) on the same page. This should be good. (Rubbing hands with glee.)
I have to walk down the hallways of the ol' alma mater and hear the thoughts (all spoken out loud--and I do mean loud) of budding sopranos who believe themselves to be even better than Maria Callas (as if!). But that's nothing: This wretch of a woman actually believes herself to be the embodiment of the Divina herself. There is no way that a spoiled selfish brat like Nasal McNotechnique (I'm just using a code name here (I'm with you, Mikester)) could understand or relate to the life Maria had (her personal life that is) and in NO way does Nasal's "suffering" come through in her singing. Callas put all her effort and her love into her music because she couldn't find the love she needed in life. Wretch has everything she needs and wants now, so please go back to the dumpster you crawled out of and leave our ears alone. Why do I compare anyway, since we are dealing with apples and idiots (les pommes du ciel vs les pommes de terre). And PLEEEEEEASE! That Mimi???? I can sing that aria better than horseface can. She puts the itch in bitch, the sting in disgusting etc.
Pfew ranting gets me so tired... I think I'll go listen to the Titanic soundtrack while I touch myself. What Would Rene Do, right Celine?
Nice to see Maria's bite is as sharp as ever. As Oprah would say: "You go..well you know the rest.
It's nice to see that the women from the Clan of the Party Bear are in fine spirits...both rubbing body parts with glee. Mama her hands and Maria....well let's just say that if she needs a deal on some Biva!!! brand personal lubricant she should see me first. I can get it for her wholesale!! (it now comes in 3 flavors: Strawberry-Kiwi, Hazelnut, and Paté Chinois).
...and while we're on the subject I was wondering if there's a term that's the female equivalent to the male "jerking off". I'm asking of course as a linguist (yeah-yeah-yeah, a cunning one) and not for any prurient interest. There are obviously dozens of metaphors along the lines of spanking the monkey or shucking the oyster but I'm talking about one commonly used phrase that applies to womanly self-pleasure, and no...they may not use "jerking off" as well. They may have usurped authority in many a family and have all but destroyed the neighbourhood tavern as a male only bastion of tranquility but as far as this little idiomatic expression goes...it's ours!! Keep your hands to yourself!!!
I heard one expression which was "surfacing oneself". That's really the only one I know, besides the male phrases I usurp of course.
Is that a play on words or did you just mis-hear "servicing oneself"? (not to be confused with the XXX fairy tale romp "Servicing One's Elf")
but I digress......NO USURPING DAMMIT!!!! That phrase (jerking off) is just about the only thing I as a man have left that hasn't been feminized. Get your OWN term!!
It's just like back in grade 7 when we boys started wearing really cool construction boots to school.
2 months later and guess what? The girls started wearing them too, like grade 7 girls were doing construction. I mean really!
Well done, Blobbie! Re the Handsome Trombone Quartette posting-you most certainly hit that one out of the park, as they say in the world of sport!!! You're quite right-there's nothing to add, except to say that, in order to forstall any "tittle-tattle" on the part of the many small-minded readers of your fine Blob, let me assure you that the girl on my lap is my neice (wonderful girl, wonderful!!!), visiting from Boston, and she's smiling because I had just told her a "knock-knock" joke!! What could be more innocent than that, eh? (I've always been a firm believer in the phrase "lips that touch liquor will never touch mine." So! That's that! Quite!!) Good fun all round; everybody happy, wouldn't you say? Just so!! While on the subject of happy, have you seen today's newspaper? There's a new moving picture in the theatres called "Mr. Magorium's Wonderful Euphonium" (!!!!!) - I'll be first in line this evening, I assure you!!! As the young "hep-cats" say, "be there or be square!" See you in the front row!!!!
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