Jerry Falwell, the firebrand preacher, pioneering televangelist, and founder of the Moral Majority is no more. The founder and Chancellor of Liberty University and founder and Pastor of the historic Thomas Road Baptist Church(where his bloated carcass will remain on view throughout the week), died yesterday. He was 73.
I've followed Falwell's career since the early 80's when he took a small congregation and transformed it into a conservative powerhouse that had all manner of right-wing politicians pandering to him for the votes that he could deliver. My only regret is that he died too young....too young to have his career ruined by a sex and/or drug scandal a la Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart, Ted Haggard etc. Never will I have the pleasure of reading about Mr. Falwell outed as a transvestite nor will I know the joy of seeing the internet video of a drugged out Falwell moaning "I'm a creamed filled donut" as some skanky hooker administers a custard enema with a pastry bag.
To look at Minister Falwell is to know that there were skeletons in his closet and that his sins were greater than simply partaking too greedily of the Lord's bounty. The wily old fox, true to form and slippery as a greased hog, has taken leave and perhaps his secrets have died with him. Up in heaven he is surely enjoying the last laugh (My goodness Gabriel, these pork rinds are simply divine!! ho ho ho !!") as the high fives resound like colliding doves (simile generator or SIMGEN up and running again!!) .
Surely other corpulent and self-righteous men will rise to take his place but none with his smarmy smugness. Why is it always the elderly, obese ones who go first...why??!!
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