I have to alert you to a scam that's been going on for years now...TWO scams in fact both being perpetrated by people named White. !st we have Meg White, so-called drummer for the very popular band (duo actually) named the White Stripes. To put it simply and without exaggeration; she can't play the drums. This seemingly important fact doesn't make a whit of difference as she rakes in the millions and rides her talented brother Jack White's (not to be confused with actor Jack Black) coattails to yet another higher tax bracket. Maybe if she was really hot looking I could understand but take a gander at her photo...I rest my case. (On 2nd thought that's not too bad a pic, she's actually quite a bit homelier...here.... look.)
The next White is the famous Vanna. She actually is hot looking but her notoriety peaked in the the mid to late 80's and she's been coasting ever since. She was a major media consideration after a lingerie photo shoot was published and even starred in a sitcom until everyone involved realized she had no talent. Back she went to turning letters for a living or so I thought until I just happened to check in on Wheel of Fortune last week. Yes Vanna is still there, stationed as always next to the letter display but her ridiculously easy job has been further simplified, as unlikely as that sounds. The individual squares are each some sort of TV screen. They now light up when a correct letter is guessed and then someone backstage presses a button and the letter in question appears. No more need for Vanna to do any turning...she just sort of touches the screen as an afterthought and voila!! She has been rendered obsolete by modern technology but is kept on at taxpayers expense. Just think of all the factory workers who've been replaced by robots. Bet they'd like a piece of that sweetheart deal!!
(Ed. note- The Blob reserves the right to invoke "the taxpayers expense" during any rant regardless of the veracity of the claim or it's inherent lack of logic)
Darfur, Iraq, global warming....sure these are all pressing concerns but by exposing these frauds mentioned above today I am clearing the way to deal with these other equally important problems. Won't you join me in my struggle to make our world a better place for my children to grow up in. (may your own children rot in hell!!)
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BLOB EXTRAS - WRITER'S COMMENTARY
(In this feature The Blob takes a page out of the DVD playbook to give you a little behind the scenes insight into the making of this post)
Hi everybody and thanks for checking out The Blob. As you may be able to tell this post was put together in a hurry and on a shoestring budget. The two subjects have been pet peeves of mine for a while and the fact that they're both named White was a coincidence that dawned on my just before starting to write. The play on words in the title was derived from this realization. The smaller picture of Meg White was added in a 2nd draft after I noticed that she didn't look that bad in the 1st pic. I'd already gone to press but I frequently edit after the fact. The composite "photoshopped" image will have some internauts crying foul over what appears to be shoddy workmanship but a bit of research will show that Vanna White, after many years of turning the letter tiles, has worn her hands down to nubs. My photo is a rare find from just before they decided to go to finger prosthetics and the new TV screen system. Thats about all I can tell you today...hope you enjoyed the behind-the-scenes look.
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