Dennis@SternBrothersMedia said...
Geez Blob -I know you're just looking for some laughs with the Streisand, but you're really sounding like a crank with the Furtado. Who cares how Nellie Furtado's career's being pitched? And of course our popular culture's revolting. I can't believe that would really get your dander up. [what's really bothering you?]
avner@sternbrothersmedia said...
Dennis -I knew I'd find you here. [why haven't you been returning my calls?] You have to call me, Ma's sick again. Call me at my Miami #. [sorry Blob, don't mind us] Avner Stern
Geez Blob -I know you're just looking for some laughs with the Streisand, but you're really sounding like a crank with the Furtado. Who cares how Nellie Furtado's career's being pitched? And of course our popular culture's revolting. I can't believe that would really get your dander up. [what's really bothering you?]
avner@sternbrothersmedia said...
Dennis -I knew I'd find you here. [why haven't you been returning my calls?] You have to call me, Ma's sick again. Call me at my Miami #. [sorry Blob, don't mind us] Avner Stern
The above comments, culled from my Nov 19th post, may mark a disturbing turn for the worse here at The Blob. The Stern brothers, my arch nemeses through most of elementary and high school have once again reared their ugly heads. I feared it was only a matter of time before they got wise to me and here we are. Unlike the old days I'm much less insecure and prepared to go toe to toe any day.....let's have at it!!
David Stern (now the more waspy Dennis): Sold stolen condoms in the Wagar High parking lot from the trunk of his father's Porsche and invented the withering insult "here's a dime...go call all your friends" (used to crush me in
to embarrassed silence at two school dances).
to embarrassed silence at two school dances).Avner Stern: Was the first to charge guests an entrance fee for parties held at his house while his parents were out of town. Had posters in his room of Duddy Kravitz and Alan Eagleson.
As children they wore the same halloween costume for years (see picture) and by grade 6 had convinced ten of the stupider boys to fork over 25% of all their candy in exchange for so called "Limited Edition" hockey cards (run of the mill American knock-offs bought during their family's twice annual pilgrimmage to Florida).When the seperatist Parti Quebecois came to power in Nov. 1975 the Stern's had their bags packed and their house on the market by morning and were off to the States 3 days later. Most in our humble shtetl of Cote St. Luc breathed a sigh of relief.
Some time in the late 80's their dad Solly was arrested for insider trading and the boys, fresh from MBA degrees, opened SternGlobalCom (now SternBrothersMedia) which today is a lesser known satellite division of the powerful CAA (Creative Artists Agency) of Beverly Hills. Of course David doesn't mind the "revolting" state of our popular culture seeing as he and his little brother have finally hit it big after years as little more than sleazy scam artists. To answer your question Dave "what's really bothering me" is having to deal with the two of you yet again. Why don't you take a few of your ill gotten dollars, get some health insurance for your Mom, and get her out of that roach infested 1 room apartment in North Hollywood. (Two can play at the google research game!!) I urge both of you to keep your schemes and scams to yourself and stay away from my readers...consider yourselves warned.
8 comments:
That's a sizzler! I'm here to help you oust unwanted cow pies from the blob anyday!!!
Blob -
Cut me a break, you have no gripe with me. Dennis may have treated you badly in school, but he treated everyone badly. Our mother has such
bad exzema she can't even watch TV, and he
calls her maybe three times a year. I haven't heard from him since Purim, I think.
Avner Stern
AVVY!
What are you sending me messages in public?!
You're turning my life into a circus! I'm busy
working on some deals - I'll call you when I have a break.
Dennis -
You're too busy to pick up a telephone, but you
have time to write blog comments! [for your
information, Ma's exzema's gotten so bad she
can barely watch TV]
Call me tonight at my Boca #.
Avner
Avvy -
Writing to blogs is my new thing. I never criticize
your new thing.
Just please call me tonight. In Boca.
Avner
Avner, consider it done. That cutting, breaking sound you hear is the sound of me cutting you a break as requested. I sensed a fraternal rift in the first couple of posts but didn't want to get involved. It looks like you've managed to move out from under David's(Dennis') shadow...more power to ya!! Sorry to here about your Mom's exzema, what a heartache. Has she tried poulticing? My Mom had chronic seborrhea that only responded to repeated applications of Zinc ointment. Luckily I was away at school during those years. All the best.
Dear Boys,
Mrs. Ellenbogen from down the hall is typing for me because my eczema is so bad now that can't do it on my own. I can't even watch TV what with the pain and the burning and the itching!! I can only manage to sit up and talk because Mrs. Ellenbogen put me a nice cream this morning but I'm still miserable.
Where ARE the two of you. I know how busy you are with the wheeling and dealing....a real couple of big shots you are....but would it KILL you to call your own Mother?? Avner at least I hear from on occasion but David what could be so important that you can't pick up a phone??
Your father (may he get a tumor in the eye!) I haven't heard from and he hasn't sent me one nickel in more than a year. Supposedly he lives in Las Vegas with the widow Klaiman which if you know that woman I wouldn't be surprised. That leaves me alone here to depend on neighbours and asking myself why I ever bothered to have children.
Love,
Your Mother
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